GOOD FOR AH-NOLD " Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger today released his positions on the 12 ballot measures [California] voters face Tuesday. … He opposes the gay marriage ban in Proposition 8."

NEW CALIFORNIA LAW DEMANDS COMMON SENSE "Get ready to remove your fingers from that tiny keyboard while driving. Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger on Wednesday signed into law a measure banning motorists from text-messaging and e-mailing while operating a vehicle. The law, written by Sen. Joe Simitian, D-Palo Alto, takes effect Jan. 1."

PRISON GUARDS SEEK SCHWARZENEGGER RECALL "California's prison guard union said on Monday it will seek the recall of Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger after he ordered a pay cut for its members amid the state's protracted budget deadlock. 'We're going to move it as quickly as possible,' union spokesman Lance Corcoran said of efforts to launch a referendum to remove the Republican governor … The California Correctional Peace Officers Association must collect the signatures of more than 1 million registered voters to qualify the measure, according to the California Secretary of State's office. … The 30,000-plus-member union has long been at odds with Schwarzenegger, but his order in July to cut the pay of prison guards to the minimum wage sparked their latest confrontation."

Hahahaha! I found this earlier while looking for this image.

Wouldja look at that turgid beast? That guy now runs a state the size of some countries. Nuts, right?

Question: Any ladies (or gents) out there that find outsized muscles like this attractive?

Nazi's son turned steroid abuser turned celebrity turned powerful head of state Arnold Schwarzenegger says early test screenings of the upcoming fourth Terminator movie – a franchise he started – have left him nonplussed.

"I still don't know how it will play out with this one," said the star-turned-politician, who said he was given a private screening of early footage from "Terminator Salvation" by producers of the franchise reboot directed by McG. "They showed me some footage, but I don't have a feel for the movie. I didn't see enough. I wasn't sure who the Terminator was. I don't know if there is one or if he's the star or the hero. These are the things that determine the success and how the strong the movie will be."

Who knew such a big man could be so catty? Let's hope Salvation's star, Christian Bale, doesn't "lose his shit" at this news. Then again, a Batman-OG Terminator fight could be one for the record books.

Ha! Yahoo's rundown of the Top 10 Scientifically Inaccurate Movies places the gory and gubernatorial Total Recall almost at the very top of the list. Turns out that that three-breasted woman and the baby stomach prophet were just the stuff of movie magic.

• Hayden Panettiere wants to assault your ears and your eyes. [Yeeeah]

• Seriously, Alba: Stop talking. [ICYDK]

• What type of person goes to Coldplay concerts? Well, Katherine Heigl, for one. [PS]

• Things we never want to imagine: An Arnold Schwarzenegger cage match. [CityRag]

• The newest Barbie looks like she could be working a street corner. [DListed]

• It's Pete Wentz's lucky day: His baby is due to be born on Halloween. How emo. [INO]

ALIEN MOVIES: WHERE NATIONAL LEADERS ARE MADE "Sonny Landham … the man who played Billy Bear in '48 Hours' and was killed by an alien in 'Predator' … pulls no punches in his newest role: Libertarian challenger to a man known for political toughness, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. … The cast of 1987's 'Predator' featured two future state governors: Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jesse Ventura. But the prospects of winning office seem far more remote for Landham."

New York's new tax breaks for film and television productions already have camera crews sprouting like Pinkberrys all over Manhattan, meaning this summer could be perfect for heckling actors until they punch us and we call our lawyer. (We're back, baby!)

Of course, as is always the case, one man's fortune is another man's shit luck. Much as we despise Hollywood types, it's terrible that they're finding it harder and harder to get work.

That's why we're publishing the full-page ad the recently fired production crew of Ugly Betty took out in tomorrow's Variety. We love New York and want her citizens to live well, but we're always in for some righteous Schwarzenegger bashing.

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A HARMONIOUS FAREWELL "Oscar-winning actor Charlton Heston has been cremated at a funeral in Los Angeles attended by about 300 people, including many Hollywood celebrities. The service was held at a church where Heston worshipped regularly, and stars such as Arnold Schwarzenegger and Tom Selleck were among the well-wishers. … Hollywood figures including Olivia DeHavilland, Pat Boone, Oliver Stone and Rob Reiner were also at Saturday's service, which lasted for almost two hours."

• Hurry and enter to win a date with Barack Obama. And then marry him if you love him so much! [SH]

• Everyone gets a free can of Dr Pepper if Axl Rose releases the new Guns N' Roses album this year. If it happens, we guarantee the soda will be better than the album. [DListed]

• Why does Arnold Schwarzenegger wield control over Clint Eastwood in our America? Why? [PS]

• Adriana Lima will remove her clothes for moving pictures, too. [HT]

• Nick Lachey is still driving cars and whatnot. Scintillating. [INO]

• "When I die, I wish to be cryogenically frozen in Nan Kempner’s closet." -Lucy Liu [ICYDK]

• If you're going to commit a crime, have the decency to put on a three-piece suit. [CityRag]

Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, meat head and tank enthusiast, was in Columbus, Ohio last weekend to help celebrate the 20th anniversary of his eponymous sports and fitness festival.

Besides autograph sessions with Ultimate Fighting berserkers and endless energy drink giveaways, 2008's Arnold Sports Festival included this impromptu but delightful thing:

Some of the female bodybuilders at the competition…went to a local bar…"They started wrestling a bunch of midgets. It got nasty and went all night."

Presumably displeased with the outcome of the female bodybuilder-dwarf wrestling matches, Ahnold stormed out of Columbus the next morning with the fury of a robot sent from the future to murder the only hope for humanity.

As Schwarzenegger was exiting the Hyatt early Sunday…he had several goons run ahead of him screaming at hotel customers trying to get to the airport, "Get back against the wall! Stay against the wall! Do not move!"

When Schwarzenegger appeared, flanked by men in black suits, one fan broke free and begged for a photo, saying, "Every year I try and get a picture, please? You're my idol." Schwarzenegger didn't even make eye contact as he swept by.

After the jump, the Governor's finest performance to date.

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TANKS, BUT NO TANKS "Arnold Schwarzenegger asked an Ohio museum to return his Austrian army tank earlier this month because he was concerned about its upkeep and wanted to be able to use it to take schoolchildren for the occasional spin. The California governor said he plans to offer rides to inner-city kids in Los Angeles as an incentive to stay in school, work hard and avoid drugs."

Sylvester Stallone on ex-girlfriend Janice Dickinson, who two weeks ago claimed Stallone had secretly injected her with steroids: "The only thing I injected her with was my fist."

[Source]