Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are still making the bookstore rounds to sign copies of their latest rip-off, Influence. With all that money they have, can't PETA's mortal enemies afford to hire a smiling coach? This is just painful.

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For our readers fortunate enough to not be in the NYC area today, I'll give you a short summary of what the weather is currently like outside: Hell. It's freezing, windy and rainy (and my umbrella may or may not have imploded during my walk to Jossip HQ). Granted, I'm from Texas so anything below 60 degrees weirds me out, but the overwhelming majority opinion is that today is one of those days where you stay inside as much as possible.

Enter the PETA crazies, who heard that Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen would be at a Manhattan Barnes & Noble to sign copies of their latest book. No amount of bad weather was going to keep these people from lining up outside in those dumb Trollsen masks and frightening passersby.

One insane person's personal account of the protest, after the jump.

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• How long until Paris Hilton gets herself one of these monkey servants? [DListed]

• The hardest working dog in Hollywood is also likely covered in STDs, poor thing. [HT]

• Miley Cyrus' dad approves of his 15-year-old daughter's 20-year-old boyfriend. But if we've learned anything, it's that Billy Ray doesn't exactly exercise the best judgment. [INO]

• You were right: We can no longer tell Mary-Kate and Ashley apart. [PS]

• The Brangelina children love Cheetos, y'all. Britney would be proud. [ICYDK]

• Courtney Love had gastric bypass surgery. Um, did she need it? [Yeeeah]

There are two sides to all celebrities: The squeaky-clean images forced upon the public by PR reps and their actual personalities. To provide you with a glimpse into the real Hollywood characters are Mollygood’s very own readers, telling tales of celebrity encounters big and small. Up this week: Reader Whitney H.'s family ties to Dave Coulier.

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• It's the first picture of Nicole Kidman's baby Sunday. Except … we can't see her. At all. [DListed]

• Shia LaBeouf will not have his pinky finger amputated. That sound you hear is the entire Indiana Jones cast and crew breathing a huge sigh of relief. [ICYDK]

• Ashley Olsen has decided Starbucks is so 2007. [PS]

• Saint Angelina Jolie will build an AIDS clinic in daughter Zahara's homeland of Ethiopia. She really can do no wrong as of late. [INO]

• Jessica Alba popped out her baby and got back on the chair. [CityRag]

• Naked pictures of a 2004 Christina Aguilera would be more exciting if it were, you know, four years ago. [Yeeeah]

Behold the official cover of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's new book, Influence. It's about as creative as the book title, but at least we can't see what burlap sacks they're wearing. And we're not even going to attempt to figure out which twin is which.

ARE YOU WRITING THIS DOWN? "Although Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are fiercely private, details about the twins’ lives are slowly emerging. The latest: how the two achieve their signature smiles. 'Every time they pose and smile, they say the word "prune,"' a source close to the girls told OK!."

On Friday, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen will turn 22 years old. We're assuming you would like to send gifts to the twins, so PETA has a great suggestion: Cut off some of your hair and mail it to the girls with a note reading, "Please, use my hair instead of the animals'. Happy birthday." Because that's not creepy at all.

But according to one of the PETA crazies, it's totally justified:

Mary-Kate and Ashley are old enough now to know that fur doesn't grow on trees. … We hope that on their birthday, they will take a moment to think about the many animals who won't live to see another birthday thanks to the twins' abominable taste in clothes.

Call us crazy, but if the twins haven't responded to years of nagging and the Trollsen Twins Web site, it's doubtful they're going to suddenly have a moment of revelation after receiving a bunch of creepy hair dolls in the mail.

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Elle magazine's July issue features cover girl Mary-Kate Olsen and an interview that isn't all that enlightening. The only thing anybody cares about is her relationship with the late Heath Ledger, and she responded by saying she refused to comment: "I won't give you a word about that in the nicest way possible. Let's move on." To what, exactly? Because we don't think anyone's interested in hearing you discuss your keen fashion sense for hours.

The CFDA Fashion Awards, held last night at the New York Public Library, honored excellence in fashion design but also served as a venue for Victoria Beckham to crash as many photo opportunities as possible.

After the jump: How many Poshes can you find?

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Ashley Olsen attended the CFDA Fashion Awards last night in NYC dressed like a baby penguin. Also: Please tell us those pants aren't about to be all the rage in America.

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It has descended upon us: The Sex and the City movie premiered last night in New York City, much to the delight of … Eli Manning? He was one of the guests in attendance, for reasons unknown, at the type of over-the-top shindig that should only be reserved for stuff like the second coming of Xenu.

The pictures (and there are many) are after the jump.

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Where Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen are concerned, sometimes it takes a village to keep the twins alive. A barista at the girls' local NY Starbucks has admitted to changing their drink orders to help them gain weight. The two miniature hobbit-like creatures typically order fat-free beverages, but "the barista thought the Olsens were too thin, so whenever they ordered their usual drink, he would replace the skim milk with full-fat." The actresses' rep, however, insists the story is "ridiculous." Unfortunately.

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According to ABC News, bushy eyebrows are back! Apparently Ashley Olsen's heavyish brows caused a "commotion" at this year's Costume Institute Gala, and that was that: trend.

Except! It seems to us that bushy eyebrows weren't really gone so much as they were choked out by society's absurd obsession with "cool" and fear of being different. Nice to see being slightly happy with how you were born and not fucking with your face so much is finally fashionable.

Moving on, getting older is still gross, right?

In its annual, consistently wrong Hot 100 list, Maxim magazine names Ashley Olsen the world's 47th "hottest" woman, but fails to include Ashley's twin sister, Mary Kate, anywhere on the roster.

We think Mary Kate's omission is due to the fact that Maxim's Hot 100 list is arbitrary and stupid, but leave it up to the New York Post to subtly suggest that it could have something to do with the young lady's involvement in Heath Ledger's death.

Click through for the Post's copy.

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Scarlett Johansson wasted no time in debuting her engagement ring from fiancé Ryan Reynolds at last night's Costume Institute Gala at NYC's Metropolitan Museum of Art. Pretty much every celebrity you can imagine was in attendance (except for Reynolds), and 95 percent of the wardrobe choices made our heart cry.

Click through for more pictures than you could have ever asked for.

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Your eyes are not deceiving you — this is a picture of a smiling Ashley Olsen. Who says miracles can't happen?

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The former cast of Full House hung out at a charity event last night at LA's Beverly Wilshire. It still boggles our mind that the Olsen twins fit right in with this group.

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