• If Tom Cruise allowed Katie Holmes to drink alcohol. [CityRag]

• Most bizarre feud ever: Roseanne vs. Angelina Jolie. [INO]

• Tori Spelling reminds us of why plastic surgery isn't always the answer. [Yeeeah]

• When did Lauren Conrad turn into Ashlee Simpson? [PS]

• Malaysia thinks Avril Lavigne is "too sexy." That makes one of us. [ICYDK]

• Jennifer Lopez is training for a triathlon, but we have a feeling this will never come to fruition. [DListed]

There are two sides to all celebrities: The squeaky-clean images forced upon the public by PR reps and their actual personalities. To provide you with a glimpse into the real Hollywood characters are Mollygood’s very own readers, telling tales of celebrity encounters big and small. Up this week: Reader Scott's surprising encounter with Avril Lavigne.

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Ashton Kutcher's new show, Pop Fiction, was created to turn the tables on the tabloids, but magazine editors aren't buying it. Apparently Life & Style stalkers staffers are so observant they can spot Ashton's shenanigans right away, so — unless Britney turns out to have been sane this whole time — the joke has fallen flat.

It's mostly a lot of D-listers we don't care about. [We] wouldn't cover anyone on that show — with the exception of Avril. This show won't go anywhere. No one is watching it.

In Hollywood, anytime anyone decides to be in on the joke and critique themselves, no one cares. It's not having the effect they thought it would. No one can sympathize with celebs. They're always in on it themselves, whether they're pulling the joke or not.

We're not surprised by this development, but nobody is believing that the mags don't care about anyone except Avril, seeing as how Paris and Eva have graced many a cover. Don't act like you're above them, tabs. No one's buying it.

[Source]

Pop Fiction, the reality show promoted by our dear Mollygood spammers, seems to have peaked during its first episode. The premiere, which featured paparazzi pranks by Paris Hilton and Avril Lavigne, wasn't all that exciting, but upcoming episodes seem lamer than we thought possible.

Here is a scene from the latest prank, which shows Mario Lopez presenting pal Eva Longoria with a ridiculously expensive Cartier necklace. Hilarious, considering the paps and media didn't really seem to care much about it at all. Good one, Ashton.

[Source]

• No hyperbole: Jared Leto's new song is the worst one I've heard in months. [ICYDK]

• "…Paris Hilton and Elisha Cuthbert were making out at Tenjune in NYC last night." [DListed]

• TV celebrity Katherine Heigl still smokes American Spirits! Where are the Dunhills, baby? [EBG]

• Jessica Alba's having a boy. You better believe his friends going to have a field day with the MILF jokes. [PS]

• Avril Lavigne may be pregnant with the world's smallest baby. [INO]

• "Bad luck charms" and "curses" aren't real. Wear the hat, Jessica. [HT]

• "Hey, your natural smell smells, one, like a man, and, two, smells like you." [Yeeeah]

• How gay is Top Gun? [CityRag]

• John Mayer swears Jessica Simpson "loves Texas more than you know," which is an important endorsement…more than you know. [Jossip]

• Eddie Murphy already scared away another one. [DListed]

• Probably not pregnant because she's going out for sushi. If pregnant: shame! [INO]

• Tara Reid! Guess what sort of state she's in. [HT]

• Britney Spears is suing a photographer, meaning she still has lawyers working for her. Three years of law school and hundreds of thousands of dollars for that. Good decision, counselor. [ICYDK]

• Gwyneth might be preggeth. [Yeeeah]

• Robert De Niro's hotel will charge you $625 per night, but $500 will get you enough cocaine to make friends with someone from the Village with a foldout couch. Make the right decision. [CityRag]

While condoms are seeing a boom time in other parts of the world, it would seem that their North American sales have significantly decreased:

…Canadian singer, Avril Lavigne is pregnant…Avril is a month and a half pregnant and…her husband, Deryck Whibley, has been telling all his friends that he's excited to be a father…

[Source]

['Lil Jon] was deejaying a countdown party at Prive, where [Avril] Lavigne was slated to call the countdown. But before the stroke of midnight, onlookers saw 'Lil Jon "grab his own mike and steal the show" from Lavigne by "holding his own coundown." The pop princess was said to be "visibly upset" and clung to her hubby Deryck Whibley, crying "I wanted to do the countdown!" Only when servers brought out Dom Perignon did she calm down.

[Source]

• And it gets laughably worse! [DListed]

• How about when celebrities tell the media they hate media. We hate that. [PS]

• FHM is not going to the grave without a fight, we'll give them that. [HT]

• A full rundown of the spending habits of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. Enjoy? Please try not to, actually. [INO]

• Paris Hilton goes into a tizzy in a pornography shop. Heiress-like! [ICYDK]

• Do the Europeans like Avril Lavigne so much because she makes North America looks so damn bad? Or is it less insidious and they just have bad taste? [Yeeeah]

• Katie Holmes is running the New York marathon, presumably to test her endurance for when she must steal her baby away into the night. [EBG]

• A gross amount of guns. [SH]

• Steven Tyler's gross throat. [DListed]

• Josh Hartnett's gross movie. [PS]

• Heidi Montag's gross pleas for attention. [HT]

• A gross leg grossing around after years of its owner being grossed out by food. [INO]

• Nothing gross here. [ICYDK]

• Any number of gross things here. [Yeeeah]

• Lindsay Lohan's bodyguard being gross and copping a feel. [CityRag]

• "Seriously, Columbus was retarded. To his death, he was convinced the mountains of Cuba were the fucking Himalayas." [Wonkette]

• Judy Jetson? [DListed]

• When the weirdo's away… [PS]

• Haven't Muscovites endured enough? [HT]

• Nice beret, jazzy cat! Too bad you're a big square. [INO]

• Kid Rock calls relationship with Pamela Anderson a "shit storm." [ICYDK]

• No shame in this. Taco Bell is delicious. [Yeeeah]

• JJ Fad! [CityRag]

• Avril Lavigne: "When the hurricane thing happened, I went to my closet, filled six boxes of stuff and said to my assistant, 'Take it to Katrina!'" Oh, boy. Can we give her back to Canada? [DListed]

• He is, but who looks older? [DS]

• So now neither Simpson sister does anything but pose? [HT]

• What do Russians know about Glamour? [Source]

• Let the Transformers derivatives begin! [ICYDK]

• Michael Lohan visits Lindsay and reminisces about when he used to be whacked-out in rehab. [Yeeeah]

• Madonna and Elton John are buds again. I'm sure you were fraught over the whole thing. Rest easy tonight. [CityRag]

The 2007 Teen Choice Awards aired last evening on Fox, and for some odd reason, Larry Birkhead was invited. (Choice Litigious Ex-Lover of a Late Junkie?) As usual, this annual recognition of mediocrity stood as a rock solid reminder of why teenagers aren't allowed to make very important decisions.

Winners and photos after the jump.

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• Harry Potter has groupies. Let's hope he uses a condom spell. [DListed]

• How to save face after License to Wed spit in it. [BWE]

• Methinks this dude's gotta drop a lot of his first name to keep her pleased. [ICYDK]

• She can't even steal good songs. [Yeeeah]

• Who's that holding that nasty camera? [CityRag]

• This model's everywhere. I think she likes sampling different local cuisines. [HT]

• Oh, that's why I always cry! [HE]

• Stand by your much more successful friend so that Jay-Z might look favorably upon you when you next need a producer. Right? [DListed]

• Avril Lavigne says she wants to act, clearly forgetting that that's what her entire persona is. [ICYDK]

• The problems start with the hat and they keep going to the annoyed old lady technique of umbrella-as-weapon. [CityRag]

• Pamela Anderson and that damn magician, again. That goddamn Aryan magician haunts my private moments! [DS]

• Bee Movie does have A-list support. [PopSugar]

• Jessica Alba apparently likes her sex like she likes her film roles: absolutely meaningless. [HT]

How about when millionaires who owe a lion's share of their success to media coverage that falsely portrayed them as punk icons turn around and say "Fuck you" to that very same media coverage? That's always weird, because to do that is actually kinda punk. It's retroactive punk.

• Sometime's he's wrong, but this time he's right. [Queerty]

• Calum Best screwing and then telling some dude named "The Screw" about the screwing. It's all screwy. [DListed]

• Carlton still cute-ing his way into hearts. [BWE]

• Sorry, Avril, people have to take you seriously as a human being before they'll take you seriously as an actress. [Glitterati]

• Still with the bikini photo shoots of Pamela Anderson? Isn't it overkill at this point? [HT]

• Looks like Mrs. Cavalli is having trouble walking, also. [ICYDK]

• We're trying to understand, Cameron, but seriously: What's up with the magic man? [Yeeeah]

• Where's baldo? [CityRag]

• Jossip just got a lot less pink, and Tom Ford just got a lot more stupid. [Jossip]

Last evening photographers caught Avril Lavigne at Maxim's "Hot 100" party. Lavigne could only stay for a few minutes, as she said she was on her way to a minstrel show and had to finish getting ready.

[Source]