If there's one question we ask ourselves daily it's, "What does Rumer Willis want to do with her life?" Everyone is desperate to know the hopes and dreams of the spawn of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore. Thankfully, she's talking about it:
I would love to be the killer in something or be crazy. … I remember watching Air Bud one year … and it was the last five minutes of the movies, and they're playing in the big game, and they're losing, and I'm all like, 'Dude, this sucks. I know he's gonna win.' I want to see the bad guy win. I want to upset people.
Ah, yes. We knew it was only a matter of time before the woman who starred in such cinematic masterpieces such as The House Bunny and Striptease and played "Smoking Girl" in Whore would take the next step in her career and play a psycho killer.
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MARK YOUR CALENDARS "Jessica Simpson's Major Movie Star may have opened No. 1 in Russia earlier this month — but it's not having as much success stateside. The flick will be renamed Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous, and released only on DVD in America, a source confirms to Usmagazine.com. The movie — about a ditzy movie star who enlists in the army to earn money to pay her bills — is slated to hit stores Feb. 3."
Remember when Jessica Simpson was working on that terrible film, Major Movie Star? We all predicted it would go straight to DVD, but it turned out even better: The movie never opened here in the US and has yet to be released to Blockbuster. Score!
Fortunately for Jess, this film wasn't a total waste: It opened to the top box office spot in Russia earlier this month. As if life couldn't get any better, it's been announced that in November the movie will open in Bulgaria. That's about it for the little movie that couldn't: No plans are in the works to open the film in any countries that speak English, which proves our theory that Jessica Simpson should probably just stop talking.
Britney Spears is rapidly getting her life back on track, and the latest stop on the BS Comeback Tour will be Dec. 2 on Good Morning America. This is going to be a big day for Brit, because it's both her 27th birthday and her Circus album release. Here's hoping she doesn't get incredibly overwhelmed by the circus (pun intended) and end up being carted away in an ambulance.
On another note, Brit really needs to work on her cue card reading skills. She used to handle scripts like a pro back in the day; now, she blasts through them like a 9-year-old in a school play. Her dialogue in the GMA promo (at left) is painful and distracting, and that's not even taking into consideration that cheesy scene where she blows out the candles. Larry Rudolph, get back to work.
About a month has passed since the Olympics and Michael Phelps' celebrity is still holding its own — but the appeal of NBC's dolphin boy has already started to wane. Take, for example, this spoof of Grey's Anatomy, featuring the new Dr. McSwimmy. It's cute, sure, but there's only so much a guy with really bad speaking and acting skills can do to stay relevant. Which is why he should look into adopting the "be seen and not heard" policy.
Mariah Carey shocked and nauseated the world with Glitter, the singer's simply atrocious 2001 big screen flop.
While one would think the 38-year would be inclined to stay away from the movie business, Ms. Carey's picked herself up and thrown herself back into acting. And apparently she doesn't suck:
Britney Spears is rapidly attempting to get her career back on track, what with the promise of a new album and her recent stints on How I Met Your Mother — but news that Quentin Tarantino has cast her as a lesbian killer in his next film, a remake of 1965's Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!, is a bit of a surprise. Brit's potential role is that of stripper Varla, who murders a man with her bare hands and then takes his girlfriend hostage. Oh, and there's sex scenes with another female. Of course.
Quentin reportedly thinks "Britney will be brilliant," which would perhaps be the slightest bit believable if Crossroads hadn't already exposed the pop star's lack of acting chops. For those who need a reminder and want to watch scenes from the worst movie ever, click through.
On the season finale of Living Lohan, Ali showed off her terrible acting skills at an audition for some movie involving trolls. Unbeknownst to her and Dina, however, is the teensy little fact that the director, Peter Davy, used to work in the porn industry and is responsible for such classy films as Voodoo Lust and Dreams in the Forbidden Zone. Dina reportedly "went nuclear" when she heard about Pete's former profession — but we highly doubt that would have stopped her from pimping out Ali for a leading movie role.
Click through for the video and Peter's creepy vibe. CONTINUED »
We weren't even aware Repo! The Genetic Opera was actually going to the movie theaters, but some quick research confirms it's still set to release in November. If anyone actually has a desire to see Paris Hilton sing and act, save yourself $8 and just watch the clip above. And then you should probably look into seeing a therapist.
Pete Wentz's latest venture, FNMTV, was tainted by Ashlee Simpson and Snoop Dogg in a hilarious sketch where Snoop gives the couple parenting tips. Oh, did we say "hilarious"? We meant "uncomfortable." Or, you know, any other adjective that comes to mind when you think of a root canal.
Are you ready for the worst 30 seconds of your life? Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt and Pete Wentz teamed up to shoot a commercial for some new Friday Night MTV thing (called F N MTV), but for the first few seconds we thought we really were watching an episode of The Hills. If this is the couple "acting," then that should clear up any confusion in the minds of the slower MTV viewers as to whether or not the Speidi relationship is authentic.
STRAIGHT TO DVD "[Audrina Patridge] confirmed on Ryan Seacrest's KIIS-FM radio show Thursday that she landed a part in an upcoming film. … Patridge said she'll play 'the girlfriend of this cocky guy who think he's the s–t … and I kind of have him wrapped around my fingers. It's cool.'"
Mariah Carey's new music video for "Bye Bye" has been released, so now the entire world gets to see the beginnings of her relationship with new husband Nick Cannon. It's probably more touching if you can sit through the scenes where Mariah "cries," and by that I mean she just wipes her face repeatedly in hopes of inspiring a tear; unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately?) for me, I couldn't make it past the first 30 seconds, so feel free to review it yourself.
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