TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING • "Attention Upper East Siders! If you're a Gossip Girl fan, you might have another show to put on your DVR list next season. The CW might use an upcoming episode of the hit show later this year to test out a spinoff. According to Variety, one of this season's shows will double as a backdoor pilot, a move that would allow the network to gauge viewer interest before putting down huge production costs on a full-on pilot."
To the commenter who pointed out that "stupid" probably isn't a bad word to learn while growing up in the Spears household, we applaud you. The idiocy continued today thanks to reports that baby train wreck Jamie Lynn Spears had liposuction while pregnant with her daughter Maddie. No, we're dead serious.
Jamie Lynn was apparently unaware she was pregnant and just thought she was getting fat at the time of the procedure, which was approved by Mother of the Year Lynne:
She didn't know she was pregnant when she filled out the health questionnaire prior to the procedure. Her mom approved the injections and went through tons of red tape to get the clinic to administer them to an underage patient.
Yes, because a 16-year-old girl having liposuction is totally OK as long as she didn't know she was pregnant.
LET'S NOT AND SAY WE DID • "Creed is hammering out details for a lucrative 2009 reunion tour, sources tell Billboard. The Scott Stapp-led hard rock group, which was one of the top sellers of the past decade, has not performed since a rancorous split in June 2004."
Last night's season finale of Dancing With the Stars was only two hours but felt like eight, and was made even worse in the last half hour with a performance by teenage a-hole Miley Cyrus. We're going to venture out on a limb here and predict that the majority of the show's audience is in the older age bracket, so why on earth would the producers allow a seizure-inducing light show to take place for two and a half minutes? Surely this is against some type of health code.
Above is a clip from tonight's Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion special, which is basically an hour of everyone hating on Kim, the show's resident "singer." We don't care so much about who's fighting with whom — we just want to know if Kim will continue gifting the world with her beautiful voice. And don't worry, she will. Explains the next Whitney Houston:
The singing in the studio was horrific. What was that? It made for good television. We had been in the studio hours and hours that day and most people know your producer doesn’t sing or stand next to you. He’s on the soundboard. So it made for good television, but my album will speak for itself. … I’m actually working with WEJ Records, it’s an independent label, and they’re negotiating a contract for major distribution.
You hear that? Add it to your Christmas wish list now!
We know you were already clamoring for the Sexiest Man Alive issue of People magazine, but here's another reason to get excited: This year's rundown features a scratch-n-sniff section, so you can smell what makes your favorite men "feel their sexiest." Just what we always wanted!
For those who were wondering, Chace Crawford smells like freshly cut grass; Taye Diggs smells like vanilla, chocolate, sandalwood and musk essential oils (diva!); Michael Phelps smells like L’Homme YSL; and Chris Meloni smells like a day at the beach.
What, nobody chose the patented mixture of B.O. and Axe? That always gets us going.
So here I am, lounging in the living room with my cat, enjoying some macaroni and cheese and Paris Hilton's My New BFF when I suddenly lose my appetite thanks to a parade of skanks on my television. Yes, A Shot at Love is back — but this time STD-ridden Tila Tequila is not involved. WTF?! It's like I don't even know MTV anymore.
Tila's replacement(s): The Ikki Twins, Rikki and Vikki. Classy. I googled this nonsense and the only thing that popped up was this cheap Web site, which told me absolutely nothing. Looks like MTV isn't exactly feeling loud and proud about its latest travesty.
Good news, everyone! The Hills is coming back for a fifth season! Audrina Patridge confirmed the information to People, and if you're not sold on even more episodes of the "reality" show, just listen to her riveting argument:
At one point, all of us were like, 'No, we don't want to do another season.' I wanted to do more movies, and Whitney moved to New York and she's doing her own spin-off. … We have fun with each other and we've stuck it out this long. We might as well do another one.
Look, nobody loves The Hills more than I do, but even I can admit that it's time to throw in the towel. Nobody cares anymore and the girls are clearly starting to hate each other. This is only going to end badly.
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Because the shark has already been jumped in the case of How I Met Your Mother, the producers obviously decided to just throw in the towel and invite as many famewhore guest stars as possible to seal the deal. The latest loser to join the bunch? Kendra Wilkinson.
The former changer of Hugh Hefner's diapers will appear as a magazine cover-version of herself in the same ill-fated episode alongside Spencer Pratt, Heidi Montag and Kim Kardashian.
We're going to start up a collection for CBS — obviously the network is out of its mind and needs all the help it can get, monetary or otherwise.
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Current Jennifer Aniston love interest John Mayer has been snatched up by CBS to host a variety show in 2009. According to insiders, the weekly extravaganza will be a "music, variety and sketch show in the '60s mold."
Because if Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey taught us anything, it's that prime time variety shows are insanely successful.
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Did you know that 90% of women name their vaginas, and "beaver" is one of the most popular? At least it is in Australia, where they've taken to premiering Kotex tampon commercials featuring an animated beaver that helps women make life decisions.
In a ballsy move that surely signals the beginning of the end of How I Met Your Mother, Kim Kardashian has been recruited by the shows producers to appear alongside Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt in an upcoming episode.
The ep, tentatively called "Benefits," is about Marshall's (Jason Segel) inability to poop at work.
I'm told Marshall carries a copy of Them Weekly with him when he's heading to the bathroom. Kim, Heidi, Spencer and lord knows which other tabloid faves will speak to Marshall from the cover of Them in a dream sequence. They presumably pop up to mock and laugh and make Marshall feel generally silly.
Sounds like a nightmare. Not just the episode plot — this whole publicity stunt. We cry for you, HIMYM.
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GOOD IDEAS "A Korean woman addicted to plastic surgery has been left unrecognizable after her obsession led her to inject cooking oil into her face."
Obama fever has, for better or worse, officially extended to include his two adorable daughters, Malia and Sasha. We wonder about which schools they'll go to in DC, and they are fashion trendsetters for the elementary-school set. With all of this attention directed their way, there's a line just asking to be crossed.
On the bad side of that line would be an appearance on Hannah Montana. Billy Ray Cyrus, father of Miley, the show's star, told Access Hollywood that he invited the younger Obamas to make a guest appearance on the show (for ratings, obviously) and that they "probably will." Over Michelle and Barack's dead body, I think.
It wasn't a joke: Hills cancers Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are heading to a real TV channel and guest starring on How I Met Your Mother. Seriously! CBS even admitted it:
We can confirm that Heidi and Spencer will appear on the show, but we can't give away anything specific about the episode. … They will be playing magazine cover-versions of themselves as Marshall (Jason Segel) desperately searches for a place to 'read a magazine' while at the office. Montag and Pratt will taunt and tease Marshall from the confines of his current copy of Them Weekly.
Naturally, Spencer had to respond in a douchey way about their episode, set to air in January: "I don’t want to give anything away…but I'm the Mother." Tool.
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For all the jokes about President Bush being borderline retarded that have been made in the last eight years, you would think that the man would leave well enough alone once he left the White House and stopped being the world's chief source of ridicule.
But no. Our 43rd commander-in-chief wants to publish his memoirs as soon as he gets out of office, despite the fact that no one is buying books in this bad economy, and no one wants to buy a book written by the guy who gave us this bad economy. So that's a double neg.
America's national nightmare, the smarmy duo of Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, is quickly scrambling for jobs now that it looks like The Hills has reached its end. And, unfortunately, it doesn't look like this is going to end well:
A reliable source says one of TV's more consistently funny sitcoms — one also prone to stunt casting (see Spears, Britney) — is close to granting their wish.
Supposedly, Heidi Montag and her manager/fiance are angling to guest star in an upcoming How I Met Your Mother episode, which would likely air in December.
This is a joke, right? Please, please, please someone tell us this is a joke.
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It's been barely a week since news broke that Lindsay Lohan's guest stint on Ugly Betty was cut short due to drama on the set, and now she has another botched job on her hands: She's been cut from hosting the World Music Awards in Monaco next weekend.
Apparently the walking disaster hosted the WMAs in 2006, when she proceeded to screw up her lines and call Beyonce to the stage while the singer was still getting her hair done. The producers had a mild case of amnesia and decided the "actress" was so "hot" at the moment that she would be the perfect host. They called in former Desperate Housewives tool Jesse Metcalfe for backup, but LiLo threw a fit because the spotlight wouldn't be totally on her.
In the end, "it was decided by both parties it was better if she pulled out," which means the producers wised up and Lindsay pouted and acted like she didn't want to host the awards in the first place.
Her replacement? Denise Richards. Yeah, that's a step up.
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