OWEN WILSON BARELY EVEN TRYING ANYMORE "Spyglass Entertainment is prepping a new horror-comedy after the good buzz surrounding their latest effort, GHOST TOWN, which hits theaters tomorrow. Entitled Blood Brothers, the film is set to star Owen Wilson in a buddy comedy involving a man and a vampire. Wilson will produce the pic …"
You may recall our celebratory post a few weeks back when it was reported that Denise Richards' dreadful reality show was canceled. We spoke too soon.
According to Denise, "it's coming back for another season" and they will begin filming in a few months. This confirms it: Despite the glorious savior Joel McHale, E! truly has absolutely not taste whatsoever. And this is coming from someone who can stomach a lot of bad television.
Britney Spears' record label announced that her new album will be appropriately titled Circus. On top of that, it will be released on Dec. 2 ??? her 27th birthday.
This is great and all, but it truly sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. By the time her record comes out, it will still be less than a year after her Breakdown Heard 'Round The World. Sure, it's probably best money-wise to thrust her back out into the spotlight as soon as possible, and it's great that she's keeping busy and focused, but surely it takes one more than a year to recover from Britney's issues.
Rumor has it Columbia Pictures is quietly putting together a script for a third installment of the Ghostbusters franchise. Hoping to bring back the original cast, which included Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis and Ernie Hudson, the studio has enlisted top-notch producers of The Office to write the new script.
Obviously this would be huge, but would it kill Hollywood to pass up a money-making opportunity to preserve the awesomeness of the classics?
Saturday Night Live has chosen Michael Phelps to host the season opener on Sept. 13 with rapper (and Phelps favorite) Lil Wayne. We're not going to argue, because this means a) we can enjoy Michael on our television sets once again and b) he will be in NYC … but really? Michael Phelps? This has the potential to be the most awkward 90 minutes of television we've seen in a long time.
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG? "American Idol is adding a fourth judge: Grammy-nominated songwriter Kara DioGuardi. DioGuardi will appear at the judges' table with Paula Abdul, Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson on the eighth season of the hit show, which premieres in January."
In what has rapidly become the worst idea ever, DMX announced he will star in his own reality show. DMX: This Life of Mine will follow the rapper as he reads to children, volunteers at the local animal shelter and redecorates his home. Just kidding, it's going to be all about his 582 arrests. DMX says he hopes people can see "what really goes on in my life." Uh, buddy? We've seen your six arrests in 2008 alone. What else could you possibly have been doing?
Amidst false reports that Michael Phelps, the greatest Olympian/athlete/human being of all time, is dating fellow swimmer Amanda Beard, his hometown Baltimore paper has come out in defense of the golden boy to claim that everyone has it wrong. According to the Baltimore Sun, Phelps is off the market, but his girlfriend has been around for quite some time now and is not famous in the least.
This so-called girlfriend better watch out, however, because Michael's latest admirer is none other than Lindsay Lohan, who sent a text to Billy Bush to pass along to Phelps' mom, Debbie, saying her son was "[bleeping] amazing and I want to meet him!"
After much speculation, inside sources are confirming that Britney Spears will once again grace the stage of the MTV Video Music Awards on Sept. 7. According to friends, Brit is extremely focused this time around and wants to be taken seriously:
She is as nervous as hell but at the same time itching to get back in front of the same audience where she screwed up so badly last time. It is the perfect platform for her to announce to her fans and the world that the dark days are behind her and she???s back on track with her life and her career. She really wants to do this, despite the jitters.
We're not quite on board with this idea — she should really be taking baby steps — but MTV would be insane to not jump on this publicity opportunity. Americans love seeing comebacks, but even more than that they love seeing someone fail miserably. Win-win.
Poor Owen Wilson. He's not only survived a suicide attempt, but also two rounds of the clingy Kate Hudson ??? and it's looking like history will repeat itself now that the always reputable Star is reporting Kate wants Owen back for round three.
He was frosty at first. He felt betrayed when she dumped him for his friend Lance. But after a while, he caved in and has been sweet to her. … It's not fair to Owen, because he really cares for her and ends up getting hurt.
Owen really should know better by now. Just like President Bush says: "Fool me once, shame on … shame on you. You fool me, you can't get fooled again." Indeed.
All My Children, that soap opera you consumed for twelve hours of when you were stuck at home post-yanking of your wisdom teeth, launched an open casting call for a real-life Iraq war veteran. Well, that sounds like it might actually be a good idea, in that it may bring the reality of war home for a demographic that prefers its stories fictionalized. Like on Army Wives. Oh wait, no.
Usually we see television shows get adapted for the big screen, and not the other way around. That's why all our favorite cartoons from childhood are the big summer blockbusters starring Shia Labeouf. That's why X-Files had another film, 10 years too late. But someone at ABC just said, "Eff it, let's buy the rights to that awful J-Lo film???..no, the other one???..no, not that one either."
If you're a condom maker and searching for the next big celebrity to endorse your product, you might have problems if 15-year-old Miley Cyrus is the first person to come to mind. Unfortunately, the geniuses behind LifeStyles condoms are all destined to make appearances on To Catch a Predator, because Miley is exactly the spokesperson they're targeting. Says Lifestyles' VP of marketing:
Pop culture proves that teens are more ready than ever to disuss the subject of sex. With recent reports showing that one out of four teenage girls has an STD and the high level of teenage pregnancy, we believe that Miley is both influential and relatable to this afflicted set ??? and is the obvious choice to get the message of safe sex out to teens across America.
And just to sweeten the deal, the tween pop star ??? who claims to be waiting for marriage ??? will receive a lifetime supply of condoms for "whenever she decides the time is right." Well, who can turn that down?
The country singer is rumored to be in a Texas rehab center that specializes in drug addiction and mental health issues — that's a step in the right direction. What's not right is Dr. Phil's involvement in the entire process, including a visit to the rehab center. After Mindy's spent her 30 days in the clinic she'll tape an appearance on The Dr. Phil Show to explain how she doesn't think she has a problem. Which … makes entirely no sense.
Oprah, we blame you.
THIS CAN ONLY END BADLY "[OK! magazine] can exclusively confirm that Justin Timberlake is recording a duet with Britney for her upcoming studio album."
One of Amy's "friends" says that, despite obvious evidence to the contrary, the singer "has turned a corner" and "wants to make a difference and give something back to people who are battling with addictions." Considering all of Amy's friends at the moment are addicts (see also: Pete Doherty), we'll chalk this up to drug-fueled ramblings.