Amidst false reports that Michael Phelps, the greatest Olympian/athlete/human being of all time, is dating fellow swimmer Amanda Beard, his hometown Baltimore paper has come out in defense of the golden boy to claim that everyone has it wrong. According to the Baltimore Sun, Phelps is off the market, but his girlfriend has been around for quite some time now and is not famous in the least.
This so-called girlfriend better watch out, however, because Michael's latest admirer is none other than Lindsay Lohan, who sent a text to Billy Bush to pass along to Phelps' mom, Debbie, saying her son was "[bleeping] amazing and I want to meet him!"
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After much speculation, inside sources are confirming that Britney Spears will once again grace the stage of the MTV Video Music Awards on Sept. 7. According to friends, Brit is extremely focused this time around and wants to be taken seriously:
She is as nervous as hell but at the same time itching to get back in front of the same audience where she screwed up so badly last time. It is the perfect platform for her to announce to her fans and the world that the dark days are behind her and she’s back on track with her life and her career. She really wants to do this, despite the jitters.
We're not quite on board with this idea — she should really be taking baby steps — but MTV would be insane to not jump on this publicity opportunity. Americans love seeing comebacks, but even more than that they love seeing someone fail miserably. Win-win.
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Poor Owen Wilson. He's not only survived a suicide attempt, but also two rounds of the clingy Kate Hudson — and it's looking like history will repeat itself now that the always reputable Star is reporting Kate wants Owen back for round three.
He was frosty at first. He felt betrayed when she dumped him for his friend Lance. But after a while, he caved in and has been sweet to her. … It's not fair to Owen, because he really cares for her and ends up getting hurt.
Owen really should know better by now. Just like President Bush says: "Fool me once, shame on … shame on you. You fool me, you can't get fooled again." Indeed.
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The CW's unwillingness to screen its Beverly Hills 90210 remake pretty much confirms exactly what you'd assumed but had hoped would be incorrect: the show's going to be worse than Dylan McKay's childhood. Rest easy for now, Gossip Girl.
All My Children, that soap opera you consumed for twelve hours of when you were stuck at home post-yanking of your wisdom teeth, launched an open casting call for a real-life Iraq war veteran. Well, that sounds like it might actually be a good idea, in that it may bring the reality of war home for a demographic that prefers its stories fictionalized. Like on Army Wives. Oh wait, no.
Usually we see television shows get adapted for the big screen, and not the other way around. That's why all our favorite cartoons from childhood are the big summer blockbusters starring Shia Labeouf. That's why X-Files had another film, 10 years too late. But someone at ABC just said, "Eff it, let's buy the rights to that awful J-Lo film…..no, the other one…..no, not that one either."
If you're a condom maker and searching for the next big celebrity to endorse your product, you might have problems if 15-year-old Miley Cyrus is the first person to come to mind. Unfortunately, the geniuses behind LifeStyles condoms are all destined to make appearances on To Catch a Predator, because Miley is exactly the spokesperson they're targeting. Says Lifestyles' VP of marketing:
Pop culture proves that teens are more ready than ever to disuss the subject of sex. With recent reports showing that one out of four teenage girls has an STD and the high level of teenage pregnancy, we believe that Miley is both influential and relatable to this afflicted set — and is the obvious choice to get the message of safe sex out to teens across America.
And just to sweeten the deal, the tween pop star — who claims to be waiting for marriage — will receive a lifetime supply of condoms for "whenever she decides the time is right." Well, who can turn that down?
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What the hell is wrong with Dr. Phil? First he attempted to cash in on Britney Spears' epic mental breakdown and now he's moved on to poor Mindy McCready.
The country singer is rumored to be in a Texas rehab center that specializes in drug addiction and mental health issues — that's a step in the right direction. What's not right is Dr. Phil's involvement in the entire process, including a visit to the rehab center. After Mindy's spent her 30 days in the clinic she'll tape an appearance on The Dr. Phil Show to explain how she doesn't think she has a problem. Which … makes entirely no sense.
Oprah, we blame you.
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THIS CAN ONLY END BADLY "[OK! magazine] can exclusively confirm that Justin Timberlake is recording a duet with Britney for her upcoming studio album."
For every great idea like Dingo Drop '08, there's also a really, really terrible one — hence the latest revelation that Amy Winehouse plans to volunteer to help drug addicts.
One of Amy's "friends" says that, despite obvious evidence to the contrary, the singer "has turned a corner" and "wants to make a difference and give something back to people who are battling with addictions." Considering all of Amy's friends at the moment are addicts (see also: Pete Doherty), we'll chalk this up to drug-fueled ramblings.
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LOWERING THE BAR "Tori Spelling is writing a book tentatively titled Mommywood, a followup to her best-selling memoir sTori Telling. … Mommywood will focus on her life as mom to one-year-old son Liam and newborn daughter Stella with husband Dean McDermott."
Why Heidi Montag was allowed to "create" a fall collection for her Heidiwood line is beyond us, especially considering this series is even worse than the last, a feat we once thought impossible. Not only are the clothes uninspired and cheaply made, but each outfit has the dumbest name imaginable (see "Hoodiewood"). And evidently the only pants in her collection are those awful "black skinnies," which says a lot about the variety in her line.
And if you weren't totally convinced that this is the worst collection in the history of clothing, here's the description of one of her outfits, creatively titled "Signature Required": "All you need is Heidi's signature for your VIP entrance…in this black denim jacket and overdyed black skinnies." If there is indeed a club that required Heidi's signature for admission, we don't want to be on the guest list. Ever.
Having used the July 4 holiday weekend to quietly drop her lawsuit against Joe Francis, former Eliot Spitzer call girl Ashley Dupre is working on her next for-profit venture: reality TV show. She’s supposedly in talks with MTV, among other networks, to launch her own dating show, with Dupre becoming the next Tila Tequila as contestants vie to penetrate the Jersey Shore’s finest.
WE CAN'T IMAGINE WHY THAT DIDN'T WORK "Mel Gibson tried to play matchmaker between his son and Britney Spears, it has been claimed. … The Braveheart actor tried to hook Britney up with one of his twin sons, Edward – who was recently in rehab for cocaine and alcohol addiction."
If you needed more proof that television is in an abysmal state, Joe Jackson, the patriarch of one of the most dysfunctional families in Hollywood, is bringing his brand of crazy to your small screen. Joe will have a film crew in tow as he attempts to reunite his sons one last time (sorry, Janet) and develops a clothing line (??). This really sounds like the worst idea ever.
And if you had any doubt this guy was absolutely insane, he solidifies it:
Being the father of all of the Jacksons, it is the father who is putting the Jacksons back together, father knows best.
Sounds like the ramblings of a totally sane person.
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On Friday, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen will turn 22 years old. We're assuming you would like to send gifts to the twins, so PETA has a great suggestion: Cut off some of your hair and mail it to the girls with a note reading, "Please, use my hair instead of the animals'. Happy birthday." Because that's not creepy at all.
But according to one of the PETA crazies, it's totally justified:
Mary-Kate and Ashley are old enough now to know that fur doesn't grow on trees. … We hope that on their birthday, they will take a moment to think about the many animals who won't live to see another birthday thanks to the twins' abominable taste in clothes.
Call us crazy, but if the twins haven't responded to years of nagging and the Trollsen Twins Web site, it's doubtful they're going to suddenly have a moment of revelation after receiving a bunch of creepy hair dolls in the mail.
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A new low has been reached in the world of reality television, this one featuring an absolutely stunning array of bad things: modern country music, Playboy, professional wrestling, Hulk Hogan and former child stars.
Danny Bonaduce, Dennis Rodman and Dustin "Screech" Diamond are heading into the ring to compete in CMT's upcoming reality series "Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling."
Also on board are Todd Bridges ("Diff'rent Strokes"), super-heavyweight boxer ButterBean, Trishelle Cannatella ("The Real World"), Erin Murphy (Tabitha Stephens on "Bewitched"), Frank Stallone, '80s pop star Tiffany and Playboy playmate Nikki Ziering.
They will compete to be named "Celebrity All-Star Wrestling Champion" based on their performance in various challenges that will include mastering complex wrestling moves, talking trash and working an audience.
Whoever wins, sadness reigns!
Well, let's discuss the good news first: As of this very moment, there are no plans for a Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt reality show.
The bad news: There will be a Hills spin-off — focusing on Lauren Conrad's friend and co-worker Whitney Port, who has publicly said she would never move in with Lauren because she can't handle the cameras being around at all times.
MTV is prepping a show in which Whitney Port, 23, becomes bicoastal while working for fashion PR firm People’s Revolution — and befriends a group of NYC gals (including socialite Olivia Palermo).
Says the insider: 'There will be more blondes in the city than you ever expected!'
The only person less deserving of a Hills spin-off is dead-eyed Audrina Patridge. Seriously, we love Whitney and all, but there's no way she can carry an entire reality show on her own. Why not give Lo her own series? Now that we would watch. (OK, fine. We're going to watch Whit's show, too.)
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