Hey all you Obama-haters out there, now is your chance to come out of the woodwork and start decrying the senator from Chicago all over again!
You see, some say Barack Obama was born in Kenya (to a foreign father no less!), and his birth certificate from Hawaii looks a little too shady to be real. (Like what typeset is that? Century Gothic?) So the Supreme Court is holding a hearing to determine the authenticity of the certificate and whether or not Obama can actually ascend to power.
Do our eyes deceive us, or does GQ's December cover find Barack Obama looking much darker than ever before?
Comparative evidence after the jump.
USA! USA! USA! • "The D.C. Council voted to allow bars, nightclubs and restaurants to pour booze until 5 a.m. and to serve food 24 hours a day, January 17-20. That’s the long weekend before Barack Obama will be sworn in as the 44th president of the United States."
BUT WHAT ABOUT SPAGHETTI CAT?! • "Look for Barbara Walters to name Barack Obama her 'Most Fascinating Person of 2008.' Right now, the ABC News empress isn't even acknowledging that the President-elect will appear on her annual roundup of newsmakers, which airs Thursday."
Tonight's the night! Tonight's the night where we see what Babs had to say to president-elect Barack Obama and Michelle on ABC, although the clips going around right now just involve Obama saying auto-industry CEOs that charter their own private planes are "a little tone-deaf," and then talking more about keeping his BlackBerry once he gets into office. Sort of a weird juxtaposition don't you think, ABC? Like that's actually the order the interview goes in: first question, automotive industry CEOs and the hypocrisy of those in charge; second question, what are you going to do with your cellphone provider once you are leader of the free world?
Behold, an article of great importance in Saturday's Chicago Sun-Times:
What really thrills me, what really feels liberating in a very personal way, is the official new prominence of Michelle Obama. The president-elect's better half not only has stature but is statuesque. She has coruscating intelligence, beauty, style and — drumroll, please — a butt. (Yes, you read that right: I'm going to talk about the first lady's butt.)
Unlike, say, Barack Obama, Saturday Night Live had no problem filling that Rahm Emanuel spot during this week's broadcast. Because although there is only one African-American cast member right now on the show, there's at least 50 Jews hanging out in the green room.
Welp, Lorne Michaels has (begrudgingly, we're sure) decided to hire a new cast member for Saturday Night Live, this one a black male who can pretend to be Barack Obama in poorly written comedy sketches for the next four to eight years. Currently, Fred Armisen, who's of Hispanic, European and Japanese descent, plays the role of Obama on SNL.
After the jump, two of the front-runners in the search for the fake Barack, Wyatt Cenac and Jordan Carlos. We think Carlos has him beat, but who knows! SNL hasn't made any good decisions in years.
Oh that liberal elite media and its terrible sense of humor! Everyone needs to get their heads checked, because Stephen Baldwin was simply making a hilarious joke when he said he would leave the country if Barack Obama became president. According to our least favorite Baldwin brother, "The liberal Democrats who didn't get that I was joking need to lighten up." Here's a thought, Steve-O: Perhaps everyone knew you were joking but, deep down, secretly hoped that you were serious and would pack your bags after Nov. 4.
The Jesus Freak (minus the Jesus) also takes issue with — surprise! — gay marriage: "If they legalize gay marriage in all 50 states in my lifetime, I'll get a Billy Ray Cyrus tattoo on my butt to go with the Hannah Montana one." Even more of a reason to help out the gays.
[Source]
Columnist, author and drinker Christopher Hitchens says a Hillary Clinton appointment to the Obama Cabinet would be a "ludicrous embarrassment for the President and for the country." Among other things, Hitchens notes that Hillary Clinton's race-baiting during her campaign for the Democratic nomination — "Senator Obama’s support among … hard-working Americans, white Americans, is weakening again…" — makes her unfit to serve with America's first half-black president.
HILLARY THE NEW CONDOLEEZZA? • "We may soon be calling Hillary Rodham Clinton 'Madame Secretary.' The New York senator and former first lady is being considered for secretary of state by President-elect Barack Obama - an appointment that would go a long way toward healing the wounds left by their bruising Democratic primary battle. Two Obama advisers confirmed Clinton is under serious consideration, according to NBC News' Andrea Mitchell."
NORTON'S OBAMA DOC GAINS MOMENTUM • "A documentary, more than two years in the making, about President-elect Barack Obama’s campaign is gathering significant interest from international distributors just days after being picked up in the United States by HBO. A team of directors and editors backed by the actor Edward Norton is furiously editing the untitled project. Given the historic nature of Mr. Obama’s victory and worldwide interest in the presidential race, the film is drawing attention from the BBC and other foreign broadcasters. Since the HBO acquisition was announced, 'we’ve had an enormous number of incoming calls from territories all over the world,' said Andrew Hurwitz, an entertainment lawyer who is representing the film along with the talent agency Endeavor."
Barack Obama's angry white terrorist pal, Bill Ayers, will sit down with Good Morning America tomorrow to give his first televised interview since Obama's victory.
The distinguished professor of education is expected to say exactly what he said last week when the Washington Post interviewed him: that he's made some mistakes and that he really doesn't know Barack Obama at all, just like Obama himself tried to tell all the yapping Republican dunderheads for weeks and weeks.
CONTINUED »
Meet Michaela Watkins, newest member of the SNL troupe, doing her Arianna impression. And ha! It's pretty good. Especially how she incorporated her dorm room or whatever into her audition tape.
But if Lorne Michaels was going the political route for the rest of the season and trying to keep cashing in on the post-election viewership, why not hire a guy who looks reasonably like Obama? Not that there is anything wrong with Fred Armisen, but he just plays it so straight, and it brings up that issue of how do you make fun of a guy who represents real change and hope for our country? Blah bah. You guys know what I'm talking about.
But hey, at least Michaela will make a good Michelle Obama? And her Arianna is still way better than Tracy Ullman's.
The seven-page questionnaire being sent to those seeking high-ranking positions in the Obama administration is being called "considerably more detailed than we had to fill out" by a former Clinton aide and "invasive" by other Washington insiders.
Among the 63 questions – some of which have multiple parts – are queries about gun ownership (of you and your family), Internet aliases, embarrassing experiences at work and embarrassing family members (above).
Thinking of applying? Keep this in mind: your drunk, gun-owning cousin who can't get his shit together is going to be loyal to you far longer than the US government.
OUR TRASHY WORLD • Hey, angry blog commenters, if you thought we were "insulting the first fam" (oh, the irony in that quote!), put this in your pipe of indignation: "Hope Toast" on eBay. "Keep it real with Obama Hope toast! Barack Obama has miraculously appeared on a piece of toast I was preparing for breakfast. … Nothing has been added to the bread - no butter or oils."
THAT'S TOAST YOU CAN BELIEVE IN!!!!
Obama fever has, for better or worse, officially extended to include his two adorable daughters, Malia and Sasha. We wonder about which schools they'll go to in DC, and they are fashion trendsetters for the elementary-school set. With all of this attention directed their way, there's a line just asking to be crossed.
On the bad side of that line would be an appearance on Hannah Montana. Billy Ray Cyrus, father of Miley, the show's star, told Access Hollywood that he invited the younger Obamas to make a guest appearance on the show (for ratings, obviously) and that they "probably will." Over Michelle and Barack's dead body, I think.
A Republican congressman from Georgia said Monday he fears that President-elect Obama will establish a Gestapo-like security force to impose a Marxist or fascist dictatorship.
…
Broun cited a July speech by Obama that has circulated on the Internet in which the then-Democratic presidential candidate called for a civilian force to take some of the national security burden off the military.
…
"We can't be lulled into complacency," Broun said. "You have to remember that Adolf Hitler was elected in a democratic Germany. I'm not comparing him to Adolf Hitler. What I'm saying is there is the potential."
Editor
