This, ladies and gentlemen, is why I watch The View morning after morning in hopes of witnessing something amazing. Elisabeth Hasselbeck, the moron who gives Republicans everywhere a bad name, had a minor meltdown during the show's first segment today. She was so beyond help that not even Barbara Walters came to her rescue. The topic, of course, was the idiocy of Sarah Palin, which turned into another session of Elisabeth spouting off nonsensical remarks to defend her beloved McCain/Palin ticket. After Barbara correctly likened Palin's preparation for the debate to a high school student cramming for an exam, Elisabeth became extremely angry, which is when this happened (inciting a round of boos from the audience):
BW: We love you on the program. You are the counterpoint. But every single day you never ever say, 'Maybe there's another point.' So here's your chance. … Tell us now why you think that Sarah Palin would make a very good president.
EH: Well, since I've been studying for this pop quiz forever, I — tell me why Barack Obama is qualified. I mean, give me three tangible things he has done.
Glorious. Anyone who genuinely thinks this woman has a single intelligent thing to say that hasn't been programmed into her head via FOX News needs to go see a doctor, cause something's off.
Update: You must watch this clip, below. CONTINUED »
COLOR US SHOCKED "A longtime staff member on The View chatfest says, 'It's not as bad as during the Rosie [O'Donnell] era,' but the presidential election has GOP-er Elisabeth Hasselbeck 'really upset' with her liberal co-hosts Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar. I understand View creator Barbara Walters has called a 'cooling off' meeting to keep a lid on things."
Poor Cindy McCain. She's having a tough go at this political race, all thanks to the likes of Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar. At a Michigan fundraiser on Saturday night, Cindy complained to a room of fellow Republicans about her horrific experience on a daytime talk show:
In spite of what you see … in the newspapers, and on shows like The View — I don't know if any of you saw The View yesterday, they picked our bones clean — in spite of what you see, that's not what the American people are saying and what they are believing. They are now seeing a clear difference with these candidates, and they are seeing who is going to make the best president, and that's why we're pulling ahead.
It truly is a sad state of affairs when the man running for president has the toughest time answering questions from a group of catty women who talk over each other while discussing men and menopause. (You can watch the ladies "gang up" on Cindy and John here.)
'THE VIEW' FROM THE RIGHT What a freakin' America in which some of the toughest questions political candidates are forced to face come not from the anchors on CNN, MSNBC, Fox, or from the American people themselves, but from daytime coffee klatch The View. Click here to see Barbara Walters et al very awesomely grill Senator John McCain about his bullshit claims that Obama called Palin a pig and how soon after being elected he's going to make sure women can't do with their bodies what they see fit. The orange background is funny, because we really do think this was Johnny's version of hell.
Sherri Shepherd used some on-air time on The View to address some of her quotes in a new issue of Precious Times, a black Christan women’s magazine. Basically, she said she had more abortions than she could count (they left out part of the quote, she said) and that is she were Juanita Bynum she would be able to save Barbara Walters (a joke, she said). It was an awkward moment, even for The View.
The latest ruckus caused by Sherri Shepherd has nothing to do with the shape of the earth — this time, the View co-host is admitting that she's "had more abortions than [she] would like to count." Scandalous! Except that didn't bother us as much as this quote from Shepherd:
Oh, sometimes I say, 'Lord, Juanita Bynum or Joyce Meyer would be so good at this table [on The View]. They could lay hands on Barbara Walters and get her saved.' I ask the Lord, 'Why am I here?' I have to trust God when He says, 'Because I said so.'
You're not alone, Sherri. It's safe to say all of America has asked themselves — while watching clips from The View — why you are there.
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This morning's The View got heated really quickly, but the only one who seemed to be upset about the entire exchange was Elisabeth Hasselbeck, who forced out tears to show how compassionate she is when it comes to the n-word. Whoopi and the rest of the gang rolled their eyes as they attempted to explain the ways of the world for five minutes instead of having an actual conversation about the Jesse Jackson controversy.
Regis Philbin is kind of like Santa Claus in that he's been around forever and everyone loves him. For some reason, his presence got the ladies of The View all riled up to the point where Joy screamed at Barbara as Whoopi walked off the stage. Can Regis have a seat at the View table every day? It's not like he has 19 other TV shows in the works. CONTINUED »
• Who knew Barbara Walters said vagina so often? And in so many different ways! [Queerty]
• It's official: Jimmy Fallon will replace Conan O'Brien next year. [DListed]
• "Rumor has it that Tori Spelling has just been cast in the 90210 spinoff show that the CW is doing." [INO]
• Famous john Charlie Sheen and his fiancée, Brooke Mueller, are asking for donations to charity in lieu of wedding gifts. [ICYDK]
• Lindsay Lohan has been dropped from the cast of another film. It's sad now. [Yeeeah]
• Do these people look like Muppets or do these Muppets look like people? [CityRag]
• Dina Lohan's TV show is finally here! Kill your flat-screen before her voice enters your home and controls your children and pets. [PS]
HUSSY "It's kiss-and-tell time for Barbara Walters: She had an affair with U.S. Sen. Edward Brooke in the 1970s, the veteran journalist revealed during an interview with Oprah Winfrey scheduled to air on Tuesday. After three decades of silence, Walters, 78, is speaking out about her multi-year relationship. According to transcripts from the show obtained by the Associated Press, the View host called Brooke 'exciting' and 'brilliant' — and tells Winfrey, 'I was certainly infatuated … It was exciting times in Washington.'"
Here it is: Barack Obama's appearance on The View in which he addresses his church, the war and Brad Pitt. In less than an hour, this man withstood Barbara Walters' attempts at flirting, gained the highly-coveted Sherri Shepherd vote and managed to not punch Elisabeth Hasselbeck in the face. If that's not a presidential candidate worth voting for, we don't know what is.
The rest of his apperance after the jump. CONTINUED »
• This is a terrible rendition of a not very good song that can only be redeemed by lots of f-bombs. Sorry, Kel. [DListed]
• Despite the odds, Adam Sandler's daughter is very cute. [PS]
• "Man vs Wild: New York City" [CityRag]
• Madonna has upset adopted son David's biological father by saying it's "not even a possibility" David would have lived had she not swooped in to rescue the destitute Malawian boy. The baby daddy begs to differ. [ICYDK]
• One of Barbara Walters' crew members totally made Hannah Montana's toilet overflow, so Hannah sent Babs a golden toilet. Now it's showbiz history and the two gals both laugh at the incident. Oh, decline. [INO]
• Cindy Crawford doesn't age, and if you drink her blood you won't, either. Catch her if you can! [HT]
Does anyone else find anything odd about Juno star Ellen Page's explanation of her favorite nerd folk band The Moldy Peaches? ("It's hinging on novelty, but at the core of it, it is so beautiful and it is so honest.") Hey, that sounds like irony to us!
But there's no way everyone's favorite "indie" actress (sponsored by Fox) is admitting that she loves the quirky irony of her quirky hit film's backing band. That would be too transparent and, well, unironic.
What'll these hipsters think of next?!?!?!
Lesson of the day: For those of you aspiring to one day have the honor of sharing a table with a crazy right-wing Conservative and a woman who doesn't know if the Earth is flat or round, we have some advice. Don't piss off Barbara Walters.
Kathy Griffin was scheduled to appear on The View this morning, but at the last minute received a phone call from a producer saying she wasn't allowed on the show because she had been "too mean" to Barbara during her last Bravo special. Um, is that supposed to be considered a punishment?
When The View considers you to be too offensive, there's something wrong.
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FINALLY "Barbara Walters received a call from Britney Spears' manager and 'very good friend' Sam Lutfi, the TV host told her cohorts on Monday's The View — reporting that Lutfi said the pop star was seeking help for what Walters termed 'mental issues which are treatable.'"
Barbara Walters is out of the fame game.
The aged tearjerker says she is no longer interested in conducting the schmaltzy celebrity interviews that have largely shaped her career. "I am not going after the tabloid stuff, I don’t do it," she recently said in an interview.
Last night on ABC, the newer, more thoughtful Walters interviewed Posh Spice and race-baiter Don Imus. Cerebral!
It pains me to inform you, readers, that bad person/self-appointed Harlem zookeeper Bill O'Reilly and I agree on something.
Victoria Beckham: I mean, please. Please. Who cares about Vict—look at this woman! She's anorexic. She's got…uh…I'm not even gonna say what. Why? Why? Why?
His only misstep is protesting with, "She's not even American." "She loves America," Barbara responds. "I'd deport her," says Bill.
It's time once again for Barbara Walters' ossified, inaptly named annual countdown, The 10 Most Fascinating People.
Walters' definition of fascinating still seems to mean nothing more than "rich and famous," as the list includes Katherine Heigl ("because this has been her year"), the Beckhams ("Victoria and Posh") and "the two guys from MySpace, who have never done anything before."
In case you could not tell, also fascinating is Barb's complete lack of interest in remembering pertinent details about her interview subjects.
Editor
