Do our eyes deceive us, or does GQ's December cover find Barack Obama looking much darker than ever before?
Comparative evidence after the jump.
Unlike, say, Barack Obama, Saturday Night Live had no problem filling that Rahm Emanuel spot during this week's broadcast. Because although there is only one African-American cast member right now on the show, there's at least 50 Jews hanging out in the green room.
Welp, Lorne Michaels has (begrudgingly, we're sure) decided to hire a new cast member for Saturday Night Live, this one a black male who can pretend to be Barack Obama in poorly written comedy sketches for the next four to eight years. Currently, Fred Armisen, who's of Hispanic, European and Japanese descent, plays the role of Obama on SNL.
After the jump, two of the front-runners in the search for the fake Barack, Wyatt Cenac and Jordan Carlos. We think Carlos has him beat, but who knows! SNL hasn't made any good decisions in years.
Achtung, white people, all your stuff's ours now. We're coming for everything you once held dear and will leave you huddled around a trash fire like hobos in some sort of racial nuclear winter. Guess you should have read the fine print on those "HOPE" posters.
Starting immediately, YOUR beloved movie characters will be replaced with OUR beloved movie stars. Not only does Daniel Craig think it's time for a black James Bond, Jaden Smith, son of non-threatening African American male Will, has just been tapped to star in a remake of 80s hit The Karate Kid. The original starred the nerdy but lovable Ralph Macchio, but that was before November 4, 2008. Make room for a real black belt, Hollywood.
Next, we're coming for the womenfolk, surfing and French cuisine. Yes we can.
If you don't get choked up at this story from a Stereohyped reader about her time in the polling line, then your heart is officially frozen.
Here, on Election Day eve, we have a new winner for stupidest Sarah Palin answer to a direct and reasonable question. Responding to a black supporter who asked about why he was the only minority at a particular Indiana rally, Palin responded, "We've got to be all about equality, the Constitution preaches," before noting that her husband, Todd, himself half-Eskimo, can totally understand the plight of black Republicans. Good. God. This. Woman.
Nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah, hey hey hey…
[Source]
RACIST LIAR COPS A PLEA "Ashley Todd, the 20-year-old John McCain volunteer who lied and said that a big black man mugged and sexually assaulted her before carving a 'B' for Barack into her face last week, struck a deal with prosecutors and will be released from jail today. She has to undergo psychiatric counseling…"
Two skinheads from Tennessee plan to go on a massive killing spree — during with they shoot 88 blacks and decapitate 14 others — culminating in the assassination of Barack Obama? It sounds too scary to be true. But according to the ATF, it was a real plan that Tennessee residents Daniel Cowat, 20, and Paul Schlesselman, 18, intended to carry out. Luckily, the plan had not reached advanced stages, sources said, although the duo had cased a gun store to rob and were plotting to target black children at a local, predominately-black school.
BREAKING - "ATF says it has disrupted skinhead plot to assassinate Obama, kill 102 black people."
MUTILATION VICTIM CHANGES HER STORY Whoops: "Pittsburgh police say a McCain campaign volunteer who said she was held down by a black man who cut the letter 'B' in her face has changed her story. … The student, Ashley Todd, of College Station, Texas, initially said a black man robbed her at knifepoint Wednesday night and then cut her cheek after seeing a McCain sticker on her car. Police say bank surveillance footage doesn't show her at an ATM where she says she was attacked. Todd, who is white, now says she was knocked unconscious and doesn't remember being cut. She now says she only discovered the wound later." (emphasis ours)
Another former Bush staffer has publicly endorsed Barack Obama, and this time around the guy isn't black! There goes every stubborn right-winger's excuse as to why a Republican could possibly switch over to the Democratic ticket for this election.
So the traitor, former Bush press secretary Scott McClellen, isn't exactly a huge coup for the Dems: He published a tell-all about his time in the White House earlier this year, and he was highly critical of the war in Iraq, even calling it "a serious strategic blunder." According to McClellen, he's voting for Obama because "he is the candidate most likely to change Washington." We don't really care either way, we're just happy to see an answer to the crazies' flawed logic that Colin Powell only switched sides because he's black.
So! Heard about this Ashley Todd, the young white Texas woman who says she was mugged, beaten and mutilated by an angry black criminal/Obama nut in Pittsburgh Wednesday night? Todd, a volunteer for the McCain campaign in Pennsylvania, says a six foot four, 200 pound black guy approached her at an ATM, put a knife to her throat and demanded the $60 she had just taken out. After giving the robber the money, Todd says he then became enraged over a pro-McCain bumper sticker on her car, prompting him to kick and punch her to the ground and carve a B (for black king Barack Obama) into her face.
Strangely, the wild assailant cut the B into Todd's cheek backwards, the same way she might have if she had cut it herself while looking in a mirror. And what a gentle knife mutilation! Not only does Todd not have to bandage the wound, she refused medical attention from police.
Things get even more plausible from there.
CONTINUED »
Known to leer at the ladies from time to time (read: all the time), Terrence Howard is of course hanging around at New York's Fashion Week. A reporter from the New York Daily News witnessed him exhibiting some odd behavior at the Fashion Rocks event — more leering, pretending to bite a male friend's nipple, etc. — and then had an even odder conversation with him.
As if it wasn't bad enough that the only black kid on the new 90210 is adopted – because "those people" don't get into Beverly Hills otherwise – they then went and made him really, really good at lacrosse! Who's writing this show, Barack Obama's racist grandmother, the notorious elitist?
Oh, Jamaican media, do you really want to shake that "Everyone in Jamaica is a dull pothead" myth? If so, what the hell possessed you to you publish black writer Michael Dingwall's recent essay, "Slavery was good for the black man," in a real newspaper? Not only is it horribly written and its punctuation a mess, it's factually inaccurate and deeply, vastly offensive.
Better late than never. Tyra Banks invited an army of black models old and young — from Pat Cleveland and Beverly Johnson to Chanel Iman and Selita Ebanks — to her show to celebrate Vogue Italia’s all-black issue. It goes without saying that Naomi Campbell wasn’t in attendance, right?
Quite a weird weekend for Democratic golden boy Barack Obama.
First, it was revealed that this ghastly thing at right is the new New Yorker cover. If you can't believe your eyes, let us assure you that that is indeed an armed, camouflaged Michelle Obama fist-bumping her Muslim-garbed husband in front of a portrait of Osama bin Laden and a burning American flag. Yes, of course: satire! But it's like: come on.
Then, venerable McLaughlin Group namesake John McLaughlin posed this question to his roundtable:
Question: Does it frost Jackson, Jesse Jackson, that someone like Obama, who fits the stereotype blacks once labeled as an Oreo — a black on the outside, a white on the inside — that an Oreo should be the beneficiary of the long civil rights struggle which Jesse Jackson spent his lifetime fighting for?
Wellllllllllllll. Reminder: This wasn't Fox News, but one of America's most famous political programs. This was a group of revered pundits sitting around debating whether or not Obama is an "Oreo."
And everyone's so confused when black Americans don't vote.
Editor
