And the award for most overhyped baby pictures of the year goes to People magazine, which had a countdown on its Web site over the weekend in anticipation of this glimpse at the new Brangelina twins. But don't worry if the cover doesn't satisfy your thirst for Knox and Vivienne — this week's issue will feature 19 pages of the babies and America's golden couple. Guess the mag has to get its money's worth.
• Elisabeth Hasslebeck comes off looking dumber than ever. [INO]
• Larry King fans have too much time on their hands. [CityRag]
• Why this Sunday will be more blessed than usual. [DListed]
• Christina Aguilera couldn't stay away from that obnoxious red lipstick. [PS]
• Adam Sandler runs errands in the same outfit he wore to his movie premiere, which lets you know how much he cares about You Don't Mess with the Zohan. [ICYDK]
• Miley Cyrus' handlers need to tell her to just stop talking. [Yeeeah]
AND THE WINNER IS… "People magazine has drummed up the winning bid for the first pictures of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s twins — Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline. It is rumored that the winning bid is between $10 million and $15 million."
You're aware that Bono is a self-indulgent, hypocritical Muppet, right? If not, do read up about how the Nobel-nominated singer and his band ran away with their publishing empire to the Netherlands in order to avoid the tax laws of Ireland and keep their many millions of dollars away from social welfare programs.
When you're done with that, laugh hard at how much sense it makes that the "benevolent" rock star is now the godfather of Brad and Angelina's new twins, who have sparked protests in Nice for being of more interest to the local government than murders.
• Jessica Simpson's father threatens Dallas Cowboys fans around the country: "She's coming to the games this year, so you better get ready. She's a fan from the beginning to the end." Or until she gets dumped. [PS]
• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are considering asking Bono to be the godfather to the holy twins, which pretty much seals those kids' fate in rehab. [INO]
• Denise Richards is still campaigning to win the title of Most Vile Person Ever. [DListed]
• Lindsay Lohan was hit by a motorcycle over the weekend in NYC. There were no injuries, but father Michael still felt the urge to blab about it to every media outlet who would listen. [Yeeeah]
• Britney Spears is on vacation — but has yet to learn how to escape the paparazzi. [HT]
• Desperation: Madonna and Guy Ritchie will renew their wedding vows in a pathetic attempt to shoot down those pesky divorce rumors. [ICYDK]
• The latest D-list feud: Kim Kardashian vs. Shanna Moakler. Choose your side. [Yeeeah]
• Tila Tequila: "I'm shooting a commercial for safe sex. How ironic. Because I don't have that." [CityRag]
• Brooke Hogan claimed her dad was abusive, but now that she's mad at her mom she says she made it all up. Oooookay. [ICYDK]
• A fight broke out at Brad and Angelina's residence. [DListed]
• Mischa Barton was dropped by her agency. Wait, she had agents? [INO]
• This is quite possibly the ugliest dress we've seen in a while. [PS]
Brad Pitt’s loudmouthed attorneys at Lavely & Singer are, preemptively, trying to clamp down on a series of photos that “were surreptitiously taken of Mr. Pitt and his family as they engaged in familial activities on private property, namely, in the privacy of the estate in which they are presently residing in France and where they had a reasonable expectation of privacy.” Not content with issuing a cease and desist letter after the pictures’ publication, L&S want to make sure these photos never make it into the public eye. (Too late, as you’ll see.)
Supposedly, the publication of these photos — showing Pitt and wife Angelina Jolie with the kids — infringe not just on Pitt’s privacy rights in the State of California, but also in France!
Except, according to one understanding of the law, this is wrong. Oh, and also? In Touch already published the pics.
• Diddy takes to YouTube to announce his discovery that he has 10 fingers and 10 toes. [DListed]
• Rumor has it someone secretly filmed Madonna and A-Rod having sex. Too bad that person won't be able to enjoy all that money he's going to receive from behind bars. [INO]
• The paparazzi are still chasing around Ashley Dupre for reasons unknown. [HT]
• Why Drew Barrymore and Justin Long split: "Justin gently suggested to Drew that they both slow down on the drinking, and she didn’t take it well. Drew believes she has control over her drinking." We've heard that one before. [Yeeeah]
• Pictures of Brad and Angelina cuddling on a hospital roof — except they're so blurry it could be some random hobos off the street, for all we know. [PS]
• Lindsay Lohan's new line of leggings is already sold out? Really? Really? [ICYDK]
The birth of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s new twins — son Knox Leon and daughter Vivienne Marcheline — is not just the second coming of Jesus, but also the culmination of nine months (longer if you count the speculation period) of a gossip industry frenzy, where celebrity weeklies flew off the shelves with breathless reports about Brangelina’s coming spawn, tabloid entertainment shows drew ratings with each new “bump” report, and the gossip blogs recorded traffic spikes anytime they pasted their pages with Brangelina rants and raves. Everybody had an opinion. Everybody was a spectator. And everybody wanted in.
So now that Angelina finally gave birth, via C-section, in Nice, France, the matter of her pregnancy is all over with. And before we even get to figuring out which tabloid is spending the GDP of some small nations on scoring the first exclusive pictures of Knox and Vivienne (we suggest they split the two up, and sell each kid to separate magazines), there’s another matter to clear up.
NOW EVERYONE STOP TALKING ABOUT IT "The world's most famous twins have arrived, finally! According to the Associated Press, Angelina Jolie's doctor confirmed the superstar gave birth to a boy, Knox Leon, and a girl, Vivienne Marcheline, in Nice, France, ending a day of conflicting reports. 'Everything is going well,' Dr. Michael Sussman told AP. 'The mother, the babies, the father are doing marvelously well.'"
The endless race for the latest set of exclusive celebrity photos wraps another round, with OK! reportedly snapping up the first pictures of Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves’ son Levi Alves, adding to this week’s long-expected coup of Jamie Lynn Spears’ new daughter Maddie. Of course, this is just a small battle compared to the People v. OK! bidding war for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s new bundle of paydays.
And the price for the pics?
STARS: THEY'RE JUST LIKE LANDED GENTRY "Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's soon-to-be-born twins will always be considered honorary citizens of Nice, regardless of whether they opt to obtain French citizenship, the mayor of Nice said Friday."
Hollywood press eager for a catfight made no effort to play down the fact that Brad Pitt’s former and current gals were going to face off against each other on Oct. 24, when they both had movies opening. But while Angelina Jolie’s Changeling is still set to open that weekend, Jennifer Aniston’s He’s Just Not That Into You has been pushed back — to February 6, 2009. Not only does the change affect the trades and gossip blogs yearning for a box office receipt throwdown, but it also make’s this month uncomfortable Marie Claire situation — which had Aniston feuding with co-star Jennifer Connelly so much that she reportedly refused to share a cover with her — a moot point. Boo.
Below, some of the headlines carrying the original news of a Jolie-Aniston tete-a-tete.
This week In Touch made Los Angeles Times blogger Liz Snead — who's been calling on Angelina Jolie to SHOW YOURSELF!!! – a very happy woman: At last, since Entertainment Tonight first falsely reported the superstar mom had given birth to her twins, there's photo evidence that … she hasn't.
PUTTING YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS "Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's foundation has donated $1 million to children affected by the Iraq war. The Jolie-Pitt Foundation will provide $500,000 for school supplies and education programs for refugee children in Iraq and $500,000 for American children who either lost a parent deployed in Iraq or have a parent serving in that country."
A story from AskMen.com, the men's online magazine famous for its listicles of hot women, that we sourced earlier today, had Billy Bob Thornton aiming some nasty remarks at ex-wife Angelina Jolie, who's currently enjoying the company of new partner Brad Pitt and on-going speculation about her unborn(?) twins.
According to AskMen, Thornton, speaking at a press launch for his new record, said Angelina "is just going through a high school phase. You know, dating the quarterback of the football team with Brad Pitt over there. She’ll be waking up from that dream in no time. … Who knows if I’ll be there when she’s ready to come to her senses though."
Dating John Mayer has earned Jennifer Aniston the superlative “cougar,” not the emotion “empathy” she was so used to after her split from Brad Pitt. And while Aniston hasn’t exactly done anything to deserve the growing ire of American women who used to so identify with her, she hasn’t done much to keep it. And that’s a celebrity actor’s job when they’re not filming!
And then, when they’re done filming, it’s also the celebrity actor’s job to keep quiet any reason America might have to hate her, so as not to re-open the scab. Too bad Aniston failed on even that front.
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