The latest entry in Freaky Friday: Sexuality Edition a.k.a. Lindsay Lohan's relationship with DJ Samantha Ronson comes via Facebook, where under her pseudonym "Bella Vita" she posted a topic in the "Lindsay Lohan & Samatha Ronson" group over the weekend, titled "not breaking up". Her message read:
Grab a hankie and sit down, because we have some bad news: Paris Hilton and Benji Madden have decided to call it quits after nine months of The World's Greatest Love Story. We know — we thought they'd be together forever, too. What could have possibly gone wrong? According to an "insider" (read: someone from Hilton's camp), it was all Benji's fault:
Paris was fed up with Benji always telling her what to do and bossing her around. She couldn't take his overbearing ways anymore. It was stressing her out. He can be very aggressive and he was just too much trouble.
She felt she couldn't cut loose and party. He doesn't drink and doesn't think she should either. She felt too fenced in.
You hear that, people? This breakup was absolutely, 100 percent not Paris' fault. If anything, the Mother Theresa of Hollywood should be admired for staying in such a taxing and sober relationship for such a long period of time. Slow claps for Paris, everyone.
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Oh, Jennifer Aniston, no. No no no. Why, after four years, would you even think about opening your mouth to a national publication about the rumored feud between you and Angelina Jolie? This just reeks of desperation and lends entirely too much credibility to the naysayers who claim you're bitter and resentful.
All of this nonsense is the result of Jen "icily" telling the newest issue of Vogue: "What Angelina did was very uncool." This, in light of Angie's recent revelation that she and Jen's ex-husband, Brad Pitt, fell in love during the making of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, contrary to earlier reports that the romance started only after filming.
Unfortunately, Jen's friends aren't helping matters. One is even calling this middle school feud "hugely significant": "This interview shows that Jennifer is no longer afraid of Angelina." No, actually, it shows that Jennifer still can't let this whole thing go.
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BEST EX-BOYFRIEND EVER "Both Simon Cowell and Terri Seymour’s camps have been referring to their recent split as amicable, and well, how could it not be (at least for Seymour) when a $9 million goodbye gift is involved? Cowell is said to have given Seymour, who he dated for six years, $5 million cash and another $4.6 to buy a Beverly Hills home just before calling it quits."
'NOTEBOOK' ROMANCE ENDS AGAIN "Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams' on-off romance is off again, just four months after they sealed their reunion with a public kiss. … A source tells Us Weekly, 'Rachel is too controlling. They broke up the first time because of their busy schedules — and that's the problem again.'"
• It's a good thing Joaquin Phoenix decided to retire from acting, because he needs to go back to school. [Yeeeah]
• Former Bachelorette/famewhore DeAnna Pappas has called off her reality show-inspired engagement. Who here is surprised by this? [ICYDK]
• We can't figure out if Enrique Iglesias is being insecure or realistic. [INO]
• A gallery of all the celebrity offspring dressed up in their Halloween costumes, because trick or treating is way more fun with the paparazzi in tow. [PS]
• Amanda Bynes spent too much time in the tanning booth. [HT]
• Amy Winehouse checked out of the hospital last week and checked back in today. Nothing to see here, folks. [DListed]
Hey, we wouldn't blame her. And (the former?!??!) Mrs. Edwards has been attending a lot of events on her own recently, including the New Yorker Festival.
And now Elizabeth has been spotted out on the town without her wedding ring. Well, according to Page Six (but they got it from the Washington Post!).
Danity Kane, the mildly talented girl group that was doomed from the start thanks to creator Diddy, is officially in shambles. Upon losing two members, the always classy Aubrey O'Day and sidekick D.Woods, a third girl has decided to call it quits: Shannon Bex, also commonly referred to as the other blond. This leaves only two girls (Aundrea and Dawn, pictured on the far left and right, respectively), who obviously cannot carry the group on their own. Shannon, arguably the nicest member of the bunch, was reportedly "tired of the drama, cat fights and Diddy." We can't argue with that, but we will begrudgingly admit that this makes us terribly sad. Don't judge us.
After the jump: The girls' first performance together upon learning that they won the reality competition and had a spot in the group. Diddy, who can be spotted obnoxiously dancing off to the side, managed to take a fairly good thing and completely destroy it. Nice work, Diddles. CONTINUED »
Look what we found! A picture of Madonna and Guy Ritchie appearing like they actually like each other. Enjoy it while you can, because the divorce proceedings are already starting to get nasty. A look at what each divorcée is saying about the other, after the jump.
LEONI LEAVES DUCHOVNY FOR NEW ODD MAN "Sex addict David Duchovny and his actress wife Téa Leoni have split up - but not for the reasons one might think. It was not his 'sexual compulsion proclivity' that caused the break-down of their marriage, but rather his discovery of explicit text messages on her mobile phone sent by actor Billy Bob Thornton. Through the texts Duchovny found out she had begun a relationship with Oscar-winning actor Billy Bob Thornton, 53, who was formerly married to Angelina Jolie."
Hey, did you hear? Madonna and Guy Ritchie are divorcing. This really caught us off guard, seeing as how they always looked so happy in all of their pictures. Take this photo at left, for example. See that undeniable romance? No? Well, neither do we. And the rest of the pictures are even colder. It's a shame these two kids couldn't make it work.
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THIS WARMS OUR HEART "Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman are back together. 'They're taking it slow,' says a source. 'They're on the road back to being together again.' The comedians, who ended their five-year relationship in July, have recently been spotted on dates on both coasts."
Holly Madison, the plastic surgeried gold digger who put forth her best efforts to make Hugh Hefner get married again, confirmed that the two have now broken up. But we thought they were going to stay together forever! This is heartbreaking.
When a TMZ cameraman recently asked her if she can get him into an upcoming Halloween bash at the Playboy mansion, she replied: 'I have no pull anymore. Hef and I aren't together.'
Still, she said she, Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt are 'still filming stuff together. We're having fun.'
So you break up with your live-in boyfriend, but you insist in sticking around to prance in front of the cameras for a reality TV show? Awkward. And sad.
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Jennifer Aniston just recently broke up with John Mayer, but not to worry — she's already found comfort in the arms of the beautiful Gerard Butler. Ugh. Says a spy at the Toronto International Film Festival:
[It] didn’t take long for the two of them to gravitate towards each other, ending up with their heads bent together in a flirty, intimate conversation. At one point I’m told his hand was placed on that sexy part of the thigh. He was also spotted rubbing her shoulder and back, leaning in close to her ear, and she of course was returning his attraction with that patented hairplay she’s perfected over the years.
That whole lame scenario just sounds like a bad movie. Which would explain why Jennifer Aniston's involved. Zing!
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MORE GOOD NEWS, LADIES "Star Jones and Al Reynolds have finalized their divorce. The two — who announced their split in April after 3 1/2 years of marriage — 'have reached an amicable settlement in their divorce proceeding and expect the divorce to be finalized in the very near future,' Jones' rep tells Access Hollywood."
The lovely Anne Hathaway graces the cover of the newest issue of W magazine, further cementing why we love her: She's like the best friend everyone's had at some point in their lives, and you can't help but want to just give her a hug. She declined to give details on the arrest of ex Raffaello Follieri, but she did speak about what she was going through at the time (while, the interviewer notes, fighting back tears):
It’s a situation where the rug was pulled out from under me all of a sudden. But just as suddenly, my friends threw another rug back under me. One said, ‘Go stay at my house.’ And Steve Carell [her Get Smart costar] stepped up for me during an interview when someone asked a question [about it]. He said, ‘At some point you’re going to have to talk about this time in your life. You don’t have to do it this week. I’ll take care of anything that comes your way.’
I’ve been shown such kindness. Not everyone gets that. A lot of people go through tough times alone.
For more photos from her W spread, click through.
You know America is going downhill when one of the day's big stories centers around a 15-year-old and her high school breakup music. The song in question is Miley Cyrus' "7 Things," which grown adults speculate is about her bitter split with Nick Jonas. We have a hard time caring about any artist whose lyrics include, "My best friend Lesley said oh she's just being Miley," but this is what happens when Britney gets her life back in order.
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Desperate Housewives actress Nicolette Sheridan and desperate housewife fantasy Michael Bolton yesterday ended their two-year long engagement. Presumably the couple finally realized that joining their ungodly and insufferable corniness would unsettle the balance of the natural world, and they spared us all. Thank you, Michael and Nicolette.
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