• Old school Britney loved Cheetos even back in the day. [DListed]
• Lindsay Lohan's side boob would be more exciting had we not already seen the entire thing. [HT]
• Gwen Stefani is about to give birth. Oh good, because we haven't heard any celebrity baby news lately. [ICYDK]
• Upon realizing that everyone in America hates her, Paris Hilton is taking her BFF search overseas. [PS]
• Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds decided to hold off on their wedding until after the presidential election. There's still time! [INO]
• Megan Fox will film a lesbian scene. Of course. [Yeeeah]
What's this? Britney Spears is gracing the cover of OK! for the second time in as many weeks?
Just last week the tabloid scored the first interview — paparazzi shouting questions at her doesn't count — with the pop star in a cooperative arrangement, and this week Ms. Spears is showing off her new body in a clear "I've totally turned my life around" cover story.
After much speculation, inside sources are confirming that Britney Spears will once again grace the stage of the MTV Video Music Awards on Sept. 7. According to friends, Brit is extremely focused this time around and wants to be taken seriously:
She is as nervous as hell but at the same time itching to get back in front of the same audience where she screwed up so badly last time. It is the perfect platform for her to announce to her fans and the world that the dark days are behind her and she’s back on track with her life and her career. She really wants to do this, despite the jitters.
We're not quite on board with this idea — she should really be taking baby steps — but MTV would be insane to not jump on this publicity opportunity. Americans love seeing comebacks, but even more than that they love seeing someone fail miserably. Win-win.
[Source]
SPEARS REGAINS SANITY? "Britney Spears … has been celibate for the last 7 months but she doesn't care because she is out to find true love. Britney's previous outrageous sexual behavior could have been due to her bipolar disorder … 'With bipolar, you become hypersexual,' Dr. Drew Pinsky tells In Touch. 'Before Britney began treatment, sleeping around with different men could have been the result of the manic state she was in.' 'I am seeing the results of good psychiatry and good parenting,' Dr. Pinksy adds."
Oh, Britney. Britney, Britney, Britney. You just make it so easy sometimes. Did you have to include the bag of Cheetos in your "Look, I'm a good mom!" photo shoot?
[Source]
A year after Britney Spears' infamous OK! magazine interview that wasn't, the singer returned to show off her newly acquired basic social skills. Among the self-aware realizations include her desire to keep her kids out of Hollywood: "I'd just as soon they have a more normal childhood," Brit says, scoring points for mothering skills and the ability to form a coherent sentence.
Her father, Jamie, also spoke to the mag, presumably because that's the only way he got a piece of the paycheck:
Kevin [Federline] is all for everything. He wants her to have 50/50 custody. He wants them to raise these kids together. Kevin’s heart is right.
[My relationship with Britney] is new for both of us. She sometimes calls me 50 times a day and asks me things that light my life up. But like all daughters, she is very manipulative and cunning. So she gets what she wants a lot.
Alright Jamie, we'll give you a pass for the Kevin comment because we, too, reached a point where K-Fed seemed like Father of the Year. But you should probably stop talking to the media and get back to work — Brit still has a long way to go.
We've come to the conclusion that Dane Cook is a genius, because one simple MySpace (yes, we're still trolling that site this afternoon) rant has gotten more people talking about his upcoming movie than should be allowed.
Apparently Dane has an issue with the movie's poster and has decided to point out every little thing that's wrong with it ("My left side looks like Brittany Spears' vagina"), much like a teenage girl who feels the urge to criticize every acceptable picture of herself in a quest for gratification.
After watching the trailer at Dane's request (we fell for it), he does make a valid point that the poster really has nothing to do with the movie's premise — but really? An excessively long tirade that likely took hours to construct is a little much.
If you're bored and feel up to devoting entirely too much time to this movie and its promotional materials, click through. CONTINUED »
Britney Spears' VMA promos, featuring host Russell Brand and the elephant in the room, have hit the Web. The scenes were reportedly improvised, which means Brit actually formed words on her own. Small victories.
Click through for the second clip. CONTINUED »
Five days, people, and the long-awaited, understandably mocked Lynne Spears memoir, Through the Storm, will be upon us.
The cover photo finds Spears, deliverer of Britney and Jamie Lynn, staring pensively out of a window, thinking on some unknown turbulence, surely considering how her daughters' money will help her carry on. And the tome's content is just as ridiculous.
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So at the moment there's all this buzz about Britney Spears getting her life back on track, and the pop star even put that traumatizing VMA performance in the past by filming a promo for this year's MTV awards show. She reportedly shot the ad-libbed commercial this week in Hollywood with host Russell Brand and a 9,000-pound "elephant in the room." Clever.
But can we just take a moment to reflect on how far she's truly fallen? In a mere seven years, one of the most famous artists of our time went from performing a near-perfect routine to close out the 2001 VMAs to being the laughing stock of the industry.
We miss the old Brit.
Britney Spears is rapidly attempting to get her career back on track, what with the promise of a new album and her recent stints on How I Met Your Mother — but news that Quentin Tarantino has cast her as a lesbian killer in his next film, a remake of 1965's Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!, is a bit of a surprise. Brit's potential role is that of stripper Varla, who murders a man with her bare hands and then takes his girlfriend hostage. Oh, and there's sex scenes with another female. Of course.
Quentin reportedly thinks "Britney will be brilliant," which would perhaps be the slightest bit believable if Crossroads hadn't already exposed the pop star's lack of acting chops. For those who need a reminder and want to watch scenes from the worst movie ever, click through.
It's good to see Britney Spears hasn't completely given up her Starbucks habit and paparazzi attraction. The former walking disaster hit up Robertson Boulevard yesterday looking better than expected, presumably because she missed the attention. True, the photographers follow her everywhere, but surely there's a better place to shop than one of the most paparazzi-infested streets in LA.
[Source]
• We need to print this drunken celebrity collage so we can frame it to hang in the living room. [CityRag]
• The cast of Grey's Anatomy is back to filming. That includes Katherine Heigl, unfortunately. [PS]
• The models who hand out the Emmy Awards will be clothed in Lauren Conrad's line. This has officially gotten out of hand. [INO]
• Two girls kissing has lost its shock value thanks to Madonna and Britney (not to mention drunken college girls), but we give Aubrey O'Day an A for effort. [DListed]
• 50 Cent got his son back with a minimum amount of drama. [ICYDK]
• The Brangelina Wonder Twins were not conceived via in vitro fertilization. Thank goodness that was cleared up. [Yeeeah]
This is the most absurd story we have heard in a long time, and that's saying something after living through the Britney Spears Crazy Fest of 2007: Actress Nikki Blonsky and her father were arrested this week after getting into a fight with a woman in an airport. The fight, which broke out at Providenciales International Airport in Turks and Caicos, was over seating arrangements. Evidently the woman wanted to sit somewhere, but Blonsky and Co. refused to move their luggage. A source claims that the woman was injured so badly that she was flown to Miami. Um, OK? Nikki's being charged with actual bodily harm while her father is charged with grievous bodily harm.
It gets better: Former America's Next Top Model contestant Bianca Golden was also involved, but nobody knows why or how. Oh, and Nikki's now in a neck brace.
Seriously, there's no way this can be true. Right? Right?
[Source]
If you notice, since Britney started wearing clothes and behaving; Paris is out of town not bothering anybody anymore, thank God, and evidently, Lindsay Lohan has gone gay, we don't seem to have much of an issue.
-Los Angeles Police Chief William Bratton, on his city's recently mitigated paparazzi problem
JAMIE'S STICKING AROUND "Britney Spears will be under the conservatorship of her father Jamie until December 31, it was decided in court Thursday. 'Ms. Spears is reluctantly agreeing to extend the temporary [conservatorship],' L.A. Superior Court Commissioner Reva Goetz said after the hearing."
• Liz Taylor is have health troubles. But can she still howl? [DListed]
• Britney Spears has a new man. [Yeeeah]
• Miley Cyrus wants her brother to stay out of Hollywood, presumably so he doesn't steal her spotlight. [ICYDK]
• Kendra Wilkinson wears a short skirt for charity. [HT]
• Casting rumors for the next Batman movie: Who's going to play The Riddler? [INO]
• Mary-Kate Olsen's bringing the 90s — and our desire to vomit — back. [PS]
Yesterday we told you about how grizzled pepaw John McCain is using a new ad to compare Barack Obama to Britney Spears. Someone with a better memory than us remembered that, actually, Spears is known to be much more like McCain than she is the Democratic nominee. Not only are they both war heroes (Spears was in Da Nang) and older than you'd think, Spears and Arizona Johnny are also both willing to blindly follow George W Bush like gutless lemmings. Does this sound familiar: "Honestly, I think we should just trust our president in every decision that he makes, and we should just support that."
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Editor
