Bruce Jenner, the seemingly nice guy who married into the ungodly Kardashian family, has some words of wisdom for his son Brody: Be wary of the company you keep. We're assuming he knows from experience.

Frankie [Delgado]'s a very bad influence. And before that, it was Spencer. He's been brought down by all his friends. It's not really him. He's a homeboy.

Speaking of not acting like yourself, should a 58-year-old man really be saying "homeboy"?

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In an effort to bolster the ever-assailed decorum of the Internet, Mollygood looks to poetry with Someone Haiku. Each day – using 17 syllables or less – you’re given the opportunity to wax poetic about some piece of flotsam or jetsam that’s washed up on the shores of Mollygood. Hopefully this Zen practice will not only bathe you in self-discovery, but also bring a touch of Eastern class to a global network of information that’s devolved into nothing more than tit websites and provocative MySpace pictures.

Today's Someone Haiku winner is syndicator:

How is this acting?
Her body is already
A soulless vessel.

So, so true, syndicator. Well done.

CONTINUED »

The Kardashians took some time off from spamming our comments section to speak to Larry King, because we're sure his audience would love their show. Larry can barely hide his hatred for the famewhoring family as he stumbles over what's written on his cue cards and tries to figure out the appeal of these horrid people. Oh, and Kim is described as the one who "posed for Playboy," presumably because "has a butt that rivals J.Lo's" and "made a sex tape" were too inappropriate for CNN.

Behold the best question celebrity interviewer Barbara Walters has ever asked anyone: "But what do you do?" Ha! That tone! The query's recipient, chronic sex object Kim Kardashian, was dumbstruck, but she soon managed this: "We're in fashion." Are we, now?

Those Kardashian-Jenner's have more class than school! On last night's premiere episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, not only did Kylie – Kim's 9-year-old half-sister – defile a stripper pole like a true working girl ("Look what I can do!"), we discovered the reason she has such a pole on which to simulate sex is because Kim gave it to their parents as an anniversary gift. So warped are they!

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