Quite a disconcerting "Thought of the Day" at Web site for money men Forbes.com, but oh so enlightening.

NOT AGAIN! "The Apple invitation is being analyzed and deciphered — a fuchsia-colored man jumping with white iPod headphones. One point to anyone who guessed it would be music-related. Most likely, the Cupertino, Calif., company will unveil a refreshed line of iPods at the Sept. 9 gathering. Maybe a few bands or musicians will perform, since the event will be held at the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts theater in San Francisco. Some speculate Apple could announce that the Beatles catalog will join iTunes."

MID-EAST BILLIONAIRES GIVE US BACK SOME OF OUR MONEY "Flush with cash, Abu Dhabi is spreading its wealth around the movie biz. The Abu Dhabi Media Co. is launching Imagenation, a production outfit with $1 billion to spend on developing, financing and producing feature films over the next five years in partnership with three American producers. Media reports today say the company has a mandate to produce eight features a year for the worldwide marketplace with a majority of the titles in the English language and targeted to mainstream audiences."

THE SCRAMBLE FOR CHINA'S HEARTS AND MINDS "When the Beijing Olympic Games kicked off two weeks ago with a four-hour spectacular, more than 840 million people in China tuned in, perhaps the largest television audience in history for a single event. The broadcast was the first in a series of Olympic bonanzas for China Central Television, or CCTV, one of the chief propaganda arms of the Chinese state and perhaps also a new global media titan. … The company is … a model of how the Communist Party in China manages to keep state-owned companies profitable as it moves the nation toward a market economy with less government influence. That the biggest corporations in the world are bankrolling that evolution — as well as party propaganda — is one of the ironies of modern China. … Its advertisers include Procter & Gamble, Coca-Cola and Adidas. It has cut television and marketing deals with the National Basketball Association and IMG Worldwide, the global sports and entertainment giant."

Now that President King Dictator Michael Phelps has won the Olympics — literally, the whole shebang is his — what's next? Doubtful that a guy could win eight gold medals in Beijing and then go back to Maryland with his dog to swim laps in the Potomac, although that looks as if it's Mikey's game-plan. Luckily, the money from Phelp's endorsements might last him long enough to buy a place in a nicer neighborhood than Baltimore; Speedo is writing him a cheque for $1 million as part of its promise for him winning eight gold medals, and that's on top of their existing endorsement deal, his sponorship gigs for Visa, Hilton, and Kellogg's (among others).

It leaves little doubt Phelps will add "richest Olympian" to his roster of personal records. But he's going to accomplish a more incredible feat: remaining relevant after the closing ceremonies. Indeed, where other celebrity Olympians disappeared into oblivion after their medal ceremonies, we see Phelps reaching the success of pro athletes who compete in leagues identified by three-letter acronyms.

Here's how:

CONTINUED »

Quit your bitching, Common American, you're not the only one in dire financial straits. Rupert Murdoch and his secret organization of hateful propagandists, Fox, have also fallen on tough times. What Happens in Vegas, the company's most successful film of the summer, only made $80 million domestically and just $215 million in the rest of the world. That's barely a quarter of a billion dollars. How is Rupe supposed to eat?!

A group of investors in notoriously anti-drug Dubai has bought a 20 percent share of Canada's dazzling Cirque du Soleil, probably without the knowledge that many, many people find the circus franchise particularly fun to watch while so high they can barely stand.

DISNEY TO BEGIN PIMPING BELOVED TINKER BELL "Long one of the studio's most popular classic characters, but one always consigned to flitting in the background, Tinker Bell is being recast by Walt Disney Co. in the hope of launching a new billion-dollar Fairies franchise aimed at young girls. … It begins, as do many Disney launches, with a movie: The spunky sprite will star in her own film, 'Tinker Bell,' due out on DVD on Oct. 28. … 'I think Fairies has the potential to be as big as Princesses,' said Andrew P. Mooney, chairman of Disney Consumer Products."

Film and oil executives want to thank you for taking it on the chin, common man. In these difficult financial times, were it not for your gas money and inability to afford more luxurious forms of entertainment, they might actually have to, y'know, not be so fucking rich.

Not only are box office profits increasing due to mommies and daddies nationwide being forced to find something for their kids to do now that road-tripping to Disneyland isn't an option, bloated captains of the oil industry are also making a killing by investing their massive profits in films, thereby making them untouchable to hefty windfall taxes; taxes that would just go to stupid social welfare programs.

Rest easy, people: The super-wealthy are going to be just fine. Now you go watch Iron Man and forget all about those tuition payments you've got come August.

Less than one week after Ingrid Betancourt's rescue from a six-year stint as a rebel hostage, RCN-TV, a Colombian television station, announced yesterday that it is partnering with a Hollywood production company to make a movie about the former presidential candidate's bloodless liberation.

"We are honored to be first people allowed to reap the profits of this tumult," said an RCN spokesman, "and we will do our best to squeeze some high drama out of the disappointingly non-violent event."

JUST KIDDING! Nobody said that, but, trust us, those freaking vampires were thinking it.

CHAIRMAN MAOSE "Entertainment giant Walt Disney on Monday said it had not yet reached an agreement with the Chinese government to build its first mainland China theme park in Shanghai. A spokeswoman was responding to questions about a report that it was expected to open a 10-square-kilometre (6.2-square-mile) site near Shanghai's Pudong airport as early as 2012. 'We have a continuing dialogue with the government about all aspects of our business, including theme parks, but there is no announcement and no deal,' Disney spokeswoman Alannah Hall-Smith said."

DISNEY PREPARES A NEW YOUNG GIRL TO BE PIMPED "Disney is in the process of grooming a possible successor to cash cow 'Hannah Montana' star Miley Cyrus. Fifteen-year-old Texan, Demi Lovato will release her first solo album on Disney's Hollywood Records label this fall. The company hopes that by then Lovato will already be a household name in the tween world, thanks to a multimedia blitz that is aggressive even by Disney standards, writes today’s Wall Street Journal. For Disney, there are few more crucial tasks than finding and developing talent that appeals to 8- to 12-year-olds and perpetuating the pipeline of clean-cut Disney Channel stars whose talents can translate across multiple platforms …"

SICK IN MANY SENSES OF THE WORD "At its Worldwide Developers Conference on Monday, [Apple] announced a new 3G version of the iPhone in a push to target mainstream consumers. But a strong undercurrent at the event focused on the emaciated appearance of co-founder and CEO Steve Jobs. While Jobs looked especially gaunt in his trademark black turtleneck and faded jeans, other Apple executives spent more time on the stage during his keynote address — a notable move for an executive who typically spends much of his speech rallying the Mac faithful and introducing many products himself. This created a dilemma of sorts for those of us in the business and technology press, but it is also not the first time his appearance has caused concern. In 2004, Jobs successfully battled pancreatic cancer, and since then, there has been occasional speculation about his health after one of his public appearances. … Henry Blodget at Silicon Alley Insider apologized upfront for bringing up the personal subject, before wondering if Jobs has had a recurrence of the cancer that he successfully fought but kept hidden from investors until after his surgery."

NEVER LEAVE HOME. EVER. "Netflix, which pioneered the business of offering DVD movie rentals by mail, is now offering its 8.2 million subscribers an option to watch movies easily on their televisions without involving the post office. Working with a small Silicon Valley company, Netflix will begin marketing a $99 device on Tuesday that will allow customers to play thousands of movies and shows on their televisions instantly, for no charge beyond their normal subscription fee."

That ridiculous and toxic "cool spotting" Web site we told you about earlier is already being made a mockery of using the very tools it provides. Though the site signed a deal giving exclusive sponsorship rights to Pepsi, Coca-Cola Classic is apparently the preferred soft drink of famous cool people. Ha!

NY BEATS LA YET AGAIN "ABC's 'Ugly Betty' is about to get a make-over that has nothing to do with Betty's bushy eyebrows or shiny braces. The production is planning to pack its designer bags and leave Los Angeles for the Big Apple, where the fictional Mode magazine where Betty works as an assistant to an emotionally needy editor is supposed to be based. Cast and crew members learned of the move at a meeting Monday … About two-thirds of the show's 150 crew members … are expected to lose their jobs. … Two weeks ago, New York's governor signed into law a bill that tripled the amount of the state's film tax credit. Feature films, television series, pilots, and TV movies and miniseries that complete at least 75% of their stage work at a qualified production facility are eligible for a 35% refundable tax credit."

Perez Hilton, the roly-poly gossip/celebrity/whatever, will soon release a branded clothing and accessories line.

Ranging in price from $1.75 to $46, the goods will include everything from lip gloss to flip-flops and be sold at America's favorite hub of suburban gloom: Hot Topic.

Pick up a t-shirt and let the world know you think it's funny when people draw sperm on women's faces.

SPEND MONEY TO MAKE MONEY "NBC Universal, a unit of General Electric Co, plans to say next week that the entry price for a 2009 Super Bowl 30-second ad will be $3 million, the Wall Street Journal said on Tuesday. The $3 million mark has never been the starting price for a commercial at the Super Bowl, though individual slots have sold for that much before, the report said. Prices to buy a 30-second spot for the 2008 Super Bowl averaged $2.7 million …"