Well, it was fun while it lasted: Someone who evidently spends too much time watching porn online has determined the leaked photo of Lindsay Lohan doing Calum Best a "favor" is a fake. The girl in the photo, as it turns out, is not LiLo. Which should come as no surprise, as the picture could have been of anybody with hair.
The proof, of course, comes from a video posted on XTube that was filmed two months ago. Apparently there are two other clips that show the girl's face and it's definitely not Linds (says the porn watcher).
…We need a shower.
[Source]
It wasn't if but when. An extremely blurry photograph taken of an extremely blurry video has message boards abuzz. Why? Because, if sources are to be believed, the picture is a screen grab of Lindsay Lohan's sex tape. The movie, purportedly filmed by Lohan's ex-leech Calum Best, was stolen and is now being shopped around for profit. See the image here. Related: The world is worse than it's ever been.
Page Six today says that Lindsay Lohan has hired a British spy to watch over philandering cokehead Calum Best, her sometimes boyfriend.
…Lohan has befriended a local photographer, Andy Sims, who will spy on Best for her. Best, caught on video partying with two hookers, is well known for a wandering eye, but it hasn't stopped Lohan from gushing about him. She tells September's Elle, "He's me in male form. We're very similar. Stubborn, rebellious, very smart, coy, a little bit narcissistic."
After reading that list, it's obvious Lohan should add "completely detached from fucking reality" as one of her main personality traits.
Lots more from her Elle shoot after the jump.
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Lindsay Lohan, who checked out of rehab and into Vegas nightclubs this weekend, is reportedly worried that naked pictures taken of her by her ex, Calum Best, are about to surface. Today's Page Six has the scoop:
Just weeks after sultry shots of Lohan and Vanessa Minnillo goofing around with kitchen knives hit the Web, underground site celebslam.com claims it has its hands on nude photos of Lindsay - and the stalker-ish site is threatening to publish them.
In what Web site owner "Nick" claims to be a G-mail chat between himself and Lohan, the starlet supposedly wrote: "All I know is that someone broke into my computer and left a file on my desktop saying he got the pictures Cal took from me naked."
Regarding the photos, Lohan's rep, Leslie Sloane Zelnik, told Page Six, "Anything is possible. I know nothing about it, but her lawyers have been contacted."
In case you don't speak Roundabout Bullshit, "Anything is possible" means that the photos do exist. Now why a girl who's had her vagina seen by everyone with a computer and even a surface interest in vaginas is worried about us possibly seeing her nipples is something I can't explain.
• Tammy Faye's not doing so well. [DListed]
• Encino Man? More like Encino God. [BWE]
• Lohan's dad talks to the media more than he talks to her and people are still going, "I wonder why that little girl is so crazy." [Glitterati]
• Can you believe FHM put a girl with huge breasts on the cover again! [HT]
• Calum Best has a lot of secrets. The most important one being how the fuck he got me to know his name. [ICYDK]
• Paris' cell mate is not going to be a 250 lb rapist as was previously reported. [Yeeeah]
• This took too much time to compile. [CityRag]
• Don't worry Page Six, I can't believe that doofus gets laid, either. [Jossip]
Questions that can be answered by this picture:
1. How many hookers were you recently seen screaming at to "do a fucking line"?
2. How many livers did your father drink himself through to give you the issues you have today?
3. How many IQ points can someone expect to lose just talking to you?
4. How many minutes did it take you to stop caring when you found out Lindsay Lohan had been in a car accident?
5. How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?
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In an effort to bolster the ever-assailed decorum of the Internet, Mollygood looks to poetry with Someone Haiku. Each day—using 17 syllables or less—you’re given the opportunity to wax poetic about some piece of flotsam or jetsam that’s washed up on the shores of Mollygood. Hopefully this Zen practice will not only bathe you in self-discovery, but also bring a touch of Eastern class to a global network of information that’s devolved into nothing more than tit websites and provocative MySpace pictures.
Apologies for the short break, especially to those who submitted entries to the last round, as they're going to be ignored due to the staleness of the story with which they're associated. I hope your personal sense of accomplishment outweighs any praise I could have given you.
But, what a wonderful topic we've been given to start anew. Today, let's see haikus about the news and photos of Calum Best, Lindsay Lohan's new boyfriend, doing lots of cocaine in a London hotel room with two hookers, and vacillating between sorrow ("I feel ashamed") and fervor ("take a fucking line"). I'm not sure which is more outrageous: His behavior, or the fact that a $2,000 a night hooker gets to keep her bathrobe on while you get yayed out of your gourd.
This guy's a sad disaster, and he's perfect fodder for the 17 syllables you've kept pent up inside since the Someone Haiku break. Good luck.
[Source]
• Sometime's he's wrong, but this time he's right. [Queerty]
• Calum Best screwing and then telling some dude named "The Screw" about the screwing. It's all screwy. [DListed]
• Carlton still cute-ing his way into hearts. [BWE]
• Sorry, Avril, people have to take you seriously as a human being before they'll take you seriously as an actress. [Glitterati]
• Still with the bikini photo shoots of Pamela Anderson? Isn't it overkill at this point? [HT]
• Looks like Mrs. Cavalli is having trouble walking, also. [ICYDK]
• We're trying to understand, Cameron, but seriously: What's up with the magic man? [Yeeeah]
• Where's baldo? [CityRag]
• Jossip just got a lot less pink, and Tom Ford just got a lot more stupid. [Jossip]
Lindsay Lohan was the belle of the ball at Maxim's "Hot 100" party last evening after being voted the sexiest woman alive by the magazine. Apparently, for 2007, Maxim spells sexy S-E-V-E-R-E-S-U-B-S-T-A-N-C-E-A-B-U-S-E-I-S-S-U-E-S-A-N-D-E-M-O-T-I-O-N-A-L-I-N-S-T-A-B-I-L-I-T-Y. Also very "sexy" are Lohan and new boyfriend Calum Best's obnoxious and violent public fights:
A screaming match broke out between Lindsay Lohan and her new bad-boy-toy, Calum Best, at the Soho Grand on Monday night. Sources told Page Six the "screamfest" started in the penthouse and ended up in the lobby. "Calum's clothes were torn, and after a few minutes, they got back into the elevator and went back to their room," said one onlooker.
Absolutely gorgeous. Way to pick 'em, Maxim!
So, when asked how she felt about the photos of her daughter blowing lines in a bathroom, this girl's mother told Us, quote, "You can’t let it bother you," and this dude's father was so bummed on life he plowed through two livers and a couple kidneys with booze, ultimately killing himself with alcohol and hitting cops and wives along the way. Sounds like a match made in expensive therapist heaven. Good luck, guys!
[Source]
Being lovey-dovey on a Bahamian beach with your new girlfriend is one of the best feelings in the world, but you shouldn't get so overcome with lust that you yank her tits out in front of everyone. Especially if said new girlfriend is currently so famous that she literally has cameras up her nose.
[Source]
This is Calum Best, who Rush & Molloy are describing as a "scene-maker" (where does one apply for that?), and who, reportedly, is Lindsay Lohan's newest diversion from cocaine.
Lindsay Lohan locked lips with British scene-maker Calum Best at Wednesday's Nylon Magazine party - despite the frowns of some pals. "This isn't a serious relationship," one friend tells us. "He's a piece of shit. He's a wanna-be celebrity. Lindsay trusts people until they hurt her." Whatever their future, Lohan was in fine form at the Tenjune bash. "She was lifting up her skirt, and sending people over to [her friend, deejay] Samantha Ronson when she didn't like what she was playing," said a spy.
Quick aside: "Spying" on Lindsay Lohan is the shittiest deep cover gig going at the CIA right now.
I'm not sure who Calum Best is or what he does, but I'm going to assume that his surname is misleading. Also, he does that thing where he just tucks in the front of his shirt and lets the rest dangle. That's irritating, isn't it?
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