Oh Carmen Electra. You really want people to respect you for something other than your career as a Baywatch babe, but most people don't even respect you for that. Actually, most people don't even remember you enough not to respect you, so guess there's that. So why take a gamble on relevance by appearing in Disaster Movie with Kim Kardashian and referring to yourself in third person during interviews?
• Yesterday's LA earthquake had the nerve to interrupt a Judge Judy filming. [DListed]
• PETA drove Corey Feldman to get liposuction. Interesting, PETA just drives us to violence. [ICYDK]
• We never get tired of cute kitten videos. [CityRag]
• Our prayers have been answered: Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson have left New York City. [PS]
• Carmen Electra gets back to doing what she does best. [INO]
• Britney Spears is paying $22,000 a month to get her old body back, which is about $21,900 more than she should be spending. [Yeeeah]
BOOBS OBSESSING OVER THE BOOBS OF BOOBS "Jessica Simpson, who was slammed this week by Pamela Anderson for wearing a T-shirt that said 'Real Girls Eat Meat,' has gotten her revenge on the former 'Baywatch' babe by beating her to the top spot in InTouch Weekly’s 2008 Best Breast poll. Simpson’s chest was followed closely by that of Tyra Banks, Scarlett Johansson, Carmen Electra, Lindsay Lohan and Katherine Heigl. Audrina Patridge’s very own 'Hills' earned seventh spot with Jennifer Aniston, Megan Fox and Beyonce Knowles rounding out the Top 10."
This little guy, Oscar, is one of the world's most popular dogs among Hollywood circles. He has been photographed with the likes of George Clooney and John Travolta thanks to his owner, Dennis Gill, who sold newspapers to celebrities in London. Oscar recently lost his three-year battle with cancer, but his legacy will live on through the animal lovers of the blogosphere.
[Source]
• Ashlee Simpson's laugh as she refuses to answer the pregnancy question grates on our last nerve. [YouTube]
• Jimmy Fallon plans to ruin Conan O'Brien's late night show by taking over in 2009. [FOX]
• Carmen Electra is engaged. Didn't she just get a divorce? [People]
• Oprah temporarily lost her mind and invited Tom Cruise back on her show. How much does a new couch cost? [DListed]
• Paris Hilton finds it hard to make friends; she blames it on her fame, we blame it on her hideous personality. [ICYDK]
• Carrie Underwood says she's been cheated on. Does it really count if the cheater was gay? [INO]
• This is the prostitute for whom Eliot Spitzer pissed away his life. She's 22, from New Jersey (no duh!) and a budding singer. Oh, yeah, she's also willing to have sex with unattractive but powerful men for money. Friend her on MySpace! [NYT]
• Rosie O'Donnell's partner currently looks like Susan Powter used to look. Yes, compliment. [DListed]
• It wasn't that cold yesterday. [PS]
• "Want To Know How Much Angelina Jolie’s Outfit Costs?" Huh? Do ya? Do ya? [INO]
• As a child, Julie Andrews was molested by her stepfather, but she still kept his surname. Sick all around. [ICYDK]
• More of the same from Carmen Electra. Honestly, she needs to give it up. Everything. Just stay at home and relax. Enough with the modeling. [HT]
• Why do celebrities get such bad tattoos? [CityRag]
• Check out Kobe throwing a towel in that woman's face! Humiliating and hilarious. [DListed]
• Apparently, Ashton Kutcher still "acts." Who knew? [PS]
• Carmen Electra doing what she does: sitting, smiling and exposing. [HT]
• Who is keeping Ghost Whisperer on the air, and is Ghost Whisperer their only friend? [INO]
• "Mary Kate Olsen's Awful Plastic Surgery" [CityRag]
• Carrie Bradshaw was a total copycat! [ICYDK]
• "Big Butts En Vogue in Ivory Coast" [SH]
• Here's the song that's convincing impulsive hipsters to part with thousands of dollars for a computer that won't even play a CD!!!!!!!!! [Queerty]
• Bigotry thrives again in Mississippi. [DListed]
• Britney Spears' dad now temporarily controls all her assets. She is 26. [PS]
• Kirsten Dunst is now also on the verge of a breakdown. Would you please remind us why people want to be famous? [Yeeeah]
• Fact: Alicia Keys is the most underrated beauty in entertainment. [INO]
• Lindsay Lohan's in traffic school! Hellooooooo, sitcom writers? Are you listening? Something for after the strike. [ICYDK]
• We're skeptical about the benefits of aerobic striptease. Sorry, but it seems ridiculous. Prove us wrong. [HT]
• Interspecies love connections. Cutest link ever! [CityRag]
• Scared yet: "The economy lost 17,000 jobs in January, the Labor Department reported on Friday, the first monthly decline in four years and the most striking evidence yet that the United States may be slipping into a recession." [NYT]
• Food for thought on Super Bowl weekend. [Jezebel]
In an effort to bolster the ever-assailed decorum of the Internet, Mollygood looks to poetry with Someone Haiku. Each day – using 17 syllables or less – you’re given the opportunity to wax poetic about some piece of flotsam or jetsam that’s washed up on the shores of Mollygood. Hopefully this Zen practice will not only bathe you in self-discovery, but also bring a touch of Eastern class to a global network of information that’s devolved into nothing more than tit websites and provocative MySpace pictures.
Today's Someone Haiku winner is LisaNo.1:
Engorged member plus
Brain oxygen deficit,
Equals awkwardness.
Very nicely done there.
New one after the jump.
CONTINUED »
• Dude looks like a strong lady! (Unfortunately, dude normally looks like a relatively weak man.) Pretty much all is revealed here, people. Enjoy, and be gentle. [Queerty]
• "The Commies" commenter awards? What a great idea! I wish I woulda thought of that two weeks ago! [Gawker]
• Ah, that makes perfect sense, OJ: A "sting operation." How 'bout now you solve the case of why white women still flock to you. [DListed]
• A picture's worth a thousand neglects. [CityRag]
• Finally, a film willing to take a sentimental stance on the 70s. [Yeeeah]
• How about we leave alone the "Leave Britney Alone" parodies? [INO]
• Britney Spears has decided to not perform at the Emmys. She will instead contemplate whether or not her rafters can support the weight gain everyone's making a big deal about. [ICYDK]
• Carmen Electra: Using her tits for attention since…uhhhh…whenever she had them installed. [HT]
Of course, not everyone has the luxury of being able to step over Fashion Week as if it were an errant mess on a city sidewalk. Occasionally, notable people are present for – and even active participants in – the clamorous, glamorous hubbub. To these precious few (or is it gullible many) we briefly offer our attention and pity.
A creep, a newly single father and a gay rock icon walk into a fashion show…
More of this joke after the jump.
CONTINUED »
• I'm going to wager this woman's not married. [BWE]
• Crimes of fashion. [DListed]
• That one college dropout is now a slightly less powerful dick. [NYT]
• Does this woman have a bikini trench coat? [DS]
• Heather Graham's attractive, but still usually unemployed. [HT]
• Better bra! [CityRag]
• Isla Fisher says her Australian roots make her unworthy. Aboriginals go, "Uhhhhhh…" [ICYDK]
• Trump takes aim… [Yeeeah]
• Happy birthday! You're friends with thieves! [ONTD]
• Paris has ADD. That's why jail's so tough for her, she can't concentrate on the tests. [DListed]
• Timbaland's a fighter, which tends to be the case when one intentionally misspells their name. [SH]
• That's so embarrassing. [BWE]
• Carmen beating a dead, naked horse. [HT]
• It's so hard to find mute help these days. [Yeeeah]
• Still Jenny from the block, though now with thousands more in superfluous diamonds. [CityRag]
"You're still an idiot who believes in psychics, too!"
CONTINUED »
• The three Popsicles at once meal better explains the teeth. [DListed]
• Jessica Alba drives a hybrid vehicle. Never would have guessed. Seriously. [HT]
• Rare shot of Carmen Electra with a book. [ICYDK]
• I thought for sure The Nanny was the corpse by now. [Yeeeah]
• I was gonna try to establish myself as a serious actress, but then I got high. [CityRag]
• How to be sexy lessons from Carmen Electra? How about tolerance classes from David Duke. [HT]
• Johnny about to give Vanessa the world's most coveted surname. [ICYDK]
• Cameron Diaz likes New York sex shows. I thought Giuliani got rid of all the fun stuff. [Yeeeah]
• Photographic evidence of an Olsen nose job. I thought that they looked a little different than they did on Full House. [CityRag]
• One of my most favorite bars in the world poisoned one of my least favorite bands in the world. [TMZ]
• Cheating on Brad Pitt is the biggest "Fuck off" in the history of middle fingers. [Us]
• "Seeing Streisand is like seeing Elvis"? Elvis had much bigger boobs. [DListed]
• After saturating the US lad mag market, Carmen's turned to Russia…with silicone. [CityRag]
• Dunst delivers on the "No way you can get any lower" bet. [Yeeeah]
• Drew at the Lucky You premier. Lucky Spike. [ICYDK]
• Fergie tries the high-waisted overalls on for size. [HT]
• New military policy dictates that soldiers must now get permission to publish blogs and send personal e-mails, putting the war one step closer to Oceania v Iraq. [Jossip]
Editor
