• 50 Cent is going to interview Paris Hilton for some MySpace commercial disguised as journalism. Let's hope the notorious racist doesn't call him a nigger to his face. And if she does, let's hope he cares. [SH]

• Pretty sure Gwyneth Paltrow is seen here wearing what the kids call locs. Awesome! [DListed]

• Rachel Bilson's passport photo shoot finds her looking better than ever. At least she looks like a woman and not a victim. [HT]

• Go ahead and dress lie Catherine Zeta-Jones; just promise not to also be a calloused snake like her. [INO]

• Johnny Depp would like to be considered for the lead in Tim Burton's remake of Alice in Wonderland. Yes: Alice. Shark jumped. [ICYDK]

• New day, new Britney Spears diagnosis. [Yeeeah]

• She's finally given up, then? We thought she would never learn. [EBG]

• Margaret Cho won't cross the picket lines for BFF Ellen DeGeneres. Yay, principles! [Queerty]

• Something queer is afoot on Saturn. [Queerty]

• Britney's bodyguard getting trigger happy at church. Quick aside: I hope I never see an America where you can't bring your gun into church. [HR]

• Catherine Zeta Jones-Douglas possibly headed back to only three names and slightly smaller business cards. [Glitterati]

• What's good enough for Springsteen's good enough for me, so I can't say anything bad about Stevie Van Zandt. But these people can. [ASL]

• Rose McGowan demanded that nobody else wear red to the Grindhouse premiere. I bet she's amazing in bed. [TS]

• My money's on Dylan. He's such a broken flower. [Jossip]

• It's like they say: the sisters that get cosmetic surgery together struggle through self-doubt together. [DListed]

In honor of Mick Jagger and Warren Beatty showing their wrinkles at Hyde the other night, I've included these photos to give an idea of what the next generation of geriatric bar hoppers will look like.

They say this is intended to be 2037. If so, Justin Timberlake shouldn't look like that, nor should Avril Lavigne Paris Hilton should actually look worse, and Catherine Zeta-Jones is a widow in that photo.

[Source]

• Are those new sweater puppies on CZJ? [Yeeeah]

• Diddy's getting ready to make another boy band. Since the first MTBs have gone so well. [DListed]

• The Breakfast Club recast with starlets of today. [BuzzSugar]

• Eva Longoria is able to fool herself into thinking there won't be strippers at Tony Parker's bachelor party. [ASL]

• Keanu is still really, really into his urban trekking shoes. [CityRag]

• Penelope Cruz communes with the sand. [INO]

• Oprah thinks your kid sucks. [Celebitchy]