
Katie Couric must have left Courtney Love's cocker spaniel pictures at home when she visited the hair salon, because she came out looking like a Hillary Clinton-esque pixie instead. The CBS news anchor debuted her new hairstyle on last night's broadcast, and we're going to go out on a limb and predict that it won't boost the ratings.

Current Jennifer Aniston love interest John Mayer has been snatched up by CBS to host a variety show in 2009. According to insiders, the weekly extravaganza will be a "music, variety and sketch show in the '60s mold."
Because if Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey taught us anything, it's that prime time variety shows are insanely successful.
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Barack Obama is making a repeat appearance on The Daily Show this Wednesday guys!
The interview, combined with the highly anticipated(?) 30 minute infomercials Obama bought time for on NBC, Fox, and CBS tomorrow, means that ABC is the only major network (besides the CW, which only counts if you are voting Chuck Bass for prez) not featuring anything Obama-related in their prime-time lineup.
So what possible reason is there for ABC not airing a Barack-tastic Wednesday?

You guys know Lara LoganC: She was that CBS correspondent/former swimsuit model who went to Iraq and inspired a brawl between a CNN reporter and a US defense contractor when they both fell in love with her. She's an inspiration to the children, really.
But now Lara is under fire for taking some souvenirs home from Iraq with her…and not just the baby that the contractor Joe Burkett knocked her up with:
YOUTUBE CONTINUES DESTROYING TELEVISION "John McCain's snub of David Letterman last week may have deprived the 'Late Show' host of some needed star power last week, but it's given him a hit on the web. So far, video of Mr. Letterman's tirade against Mr. McCain, who bowed out the day of the telecast, has generated more than 3.5 million views on YouTube. One problem: CBS is barely making a dime from the clip. That's because the vast majority of the views — 3.2 million — are attributed to pirated versions of the 'Late Show,' according to tracking firm TubeMogul."

As if Sarah Palin's disastrous interview with CBS Stepford wife Katie Couric wasn't enough, the network reportedly has more footage that is even more damaging to the Alaskan governor. One of the tougher questions Palin faced? Discussing Supreme Court decisions, which was met with awkward silence.
Not to worry though, a Palin aide is clearing it all up for us:
Ah, CBS. We were expecting for Big Brother to not air preacher's son Ollie's homophobic rants that were captured on the live feeds — but during last night's episode, the show completely fabricated the entire scene. As you may recall, Ollie lashed out at fellow contestant Memphis during a heated argument in the backyard, and as Ollie walked away he told Memphis to "suck my dick, little faggot." Memphis replied, "What did you just call me?" and followed him inside as Ollie repeated himself multiple times. But according to last night's episode, Ollie muttered "red-headed cabbage patch kid" instead of his original rant. Uh, OK? Would it have killed CBS to either a) completely edit out that segment or b) bleep out the offensive words? Why the golden child edit? (Scene in question is at 0:50, compared to the real fight here.)

Yes, I'm still the only person watching Big Brother. I can't help it, I'm addicted — mainly because the producers have perfected the art of casting people on the verge of insanity who come across as perfectly normal during the regular broadcast three times a week. On the live feeds, however, is where the real crazies come out, which brings us to Ollie, the preacher's son. CBS cast him as the straight-laced religious guy, as you can tell from his bio: "As the son of a preacher, Ollie grew up in a strict Pentecostal family where, in his father's church, faith healing and speaking in tongues were practiced. … To this day, Ollie does not drink, smoke or curse; staying true to the values he was raised with as a child."
Interesting, then, that he is the one in the house who constantly spouts off hateful and homophobic remarks. Last night he announced that Memphis, one of his enemies in the game, is "an undercover fag" — to which Jerry, the 75-year-old ex-Marine, warned him, "You gotta stay away from those little dirty old nasties." (Don't even get me started on Jerry.) To top it all off, Ollie told Memphis to "suck my dick, little faggot." You can catch that clip after the jump (around the 7:40 mark). CONTINUED »
The tool you see at left is named Jessie Godderz, one of the current houseguests on the reality competition Big Brother. CBS describes the 22-year-old body builder as "the all-American boy next door who graduated from high school in Iowa." Sure, except he's a massive tool who's caught the attention of The Soup because he is more in love with himself than should be allowed (you can watch that here). But the really endearing thing about Jessie is that the overachiever has already appeared on not one but two MTV dating shows, Exposed and Next. Good to know CBS is now in the business of picking up MTV's leftovers.
Click through for video of his appearances on both shows and prepare to fall in love with the obnoxious d-bag that is Jessie Godderz. (Spoiler alert: He takes his shirt off and flexes his muscles in both clips.)
Villainous mother of four Dina Lohan took her 14-year-old daughter Ali (aka Plan B) to CBS' Early Show yesterday to drum up some viewers for the family's tainted reality show, Living Lohan.
With her forked tongue, Dina said without laughing that she only agreed to do the reality program to "diffuse the rumors," presumably the ones that say she's a money-hungry loon who will do anything to be famous. Then Ali spoke and demonstrated just how deeply she's repressed her memories:
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According to media research firm Magna Global, the median age of television viewers is now 50-years-old, older than ever before and one year outside the all-important 18-49 demographic. Of the top five networks (ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox and CW) CBS's viewership is the most crotchety, with a median age of 54. By contrast, the CW – home of Gossip Girl – has a fan base with a median age 20 years less than that.
Why are couch potatoes graying? Because the olds don't know how to "googlize" things, nor do they get what those darn "virus videos" are all about.
"The median ages of the broadcast networks keep rising, as traditional television is no longer necessarily the first screen for the younger set," [a spokesperson for Magna Global] wrote.
The absolute oldest viewership of all ad-supported cable networks is that of Fox News' daytime and prime time lineup. Presumably that's also the viewership most likely to be "sick of all your lip" and racist.

• Katie Couric is thisclose to being out at CBS News. Again. [Jossip]
• Jack Black said Brangelina forgave him for spilling the beans about their fetus twins because they didn't want to hold in their secret any longer. Because they were staying quiet against their will? [ICYDK]
• The world can rest easy: Christina Aguilera plans to produce more babies. [INO]
• In a matter of 24 hours, Cameron Diaz has dropped Diddy and is now flirting with Jennifer Aniston's ex. Hollywood is so incestuous. [Us]
• Shia LaBeouf's healthy reasons for taking up acting: "I thought it could bring me security, it could bring me structure, it could bring me my family." [PS]
SHUT IT DOWN " … I propose that it is time for CBS News to be put down, in the Old Yeller sense of the phrase. It's time to turn out the lights and just start airing Hollywood gossip at 6:30 p.m. The network could follow Schieffer's lead and simply dissolve the thing after the inauguration, maybe keeping 60 Minutes around, either as a commercial-free public service program (because what exec doesn't love a prestige-hogging loss leader?) or under the auspices of CBS' entertainment division (because why keep pretending?). The farewell would be handled with dignified pomp—tributes to Murrow and Severeid and so forth. And if Walter Cronkite is in good health, he could do the honors with a final sign off. I'm serious. That's how bad things are, and that's the way it is."
DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT "Despite a contract due to run until 2011, Katie Couric is expected to end her anchor job at CBS Evening News possibly as soon as the January 2009 presidential inauguration, reports the Wall Street Journal, relying on information from CBS News executives and Couric's inner circle."
CAUSE FOR INSANITY "Fans of CBS' 'Moonlight' are so passionate about the vampire drama that they're willing to sacrifice their own blood to keep the series on the air. Teaming with the Red Cross and online protest rally point YouChoose.net, "Moonlight" viewers are organizing a nationwide blood drive to garner network support for a second season. They claim that more than 3,000 fans have pledged to donate a pint."

Rumor has it Britney Spears paid a visit this morning to the set of the CBS show How I Met Your Mother. Apparently she read through the script of an upcoming episode in which she makes a guest appearance.
Sources say she was "really funny" and "very professional," and there's a possibility her character will be back for future episodes. She may have been well-behaved this time, but CBS can't afford to be pumping her full of frapps and Cheetos forever. This will surely be short-lived.
And we wouldn't necessarily call this a return to the small screen, as she graces our television sets every evening via TMZ and The Insider.
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• Big Brother's new "soulmates" concept has turned into an STD fest. (Video NSFW) [DListed]
• Tina Fey will host the post-strike premiere of SNL. You remember SNL? Neither do we. We think it was an ancient show enjoyed by our forefathers. [CityRag]
• Kirstie Alley has stepped down as Jenny Craig's spokesperson. Presumably because Scientology does not believe in weight loss. [People]
• Jimmy Kimmel will get revenge by f***ing Ben Affleck. Can we get in on that? [Us]
• Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard: Classy and classier. [INO]
• For as much drama as Diddy gets himself into, he't not the best with excuses. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan's whorish charms don't impress Clint Eastwood. [OK!]
• This girl has the mark of the beast. [BWE]

Ho-monger Don Imus is back. Following a wrongful termination lawsuit that saw him receive a payout of $20 million from his former employers at CBS Radio, Imus is now in talks with the company that owns ABC Radio.
So, racism isn't that bad. The Jena Six could have used that lesson a while ago.



