Talk about shooting yourself in the foot: Plaxico Burress of the New York Giants had just one of those days (nights?) post-Thanksgiving, when he walked into the Latin Quarter club and promptly shot himself in the leg — by accident, one assumes, unless he was trying to get out of next season's training or had some sort of beef with his hamstring.
And while a football player packing heat is a story in and of itself, it's what Burress did after the self-inflicted shooting that's truly amazing and shows you just how far celebrity status will take you in this city.
OF COURSE HE WON'T "Shia LaBeouf will not be charged with drink-driving [sic] after he was involved in a car accident in Los Angeles. But the Indiana Jones star's licence could still be suspended because he refused a breathalyser test at the time, sheriff's officials said. 'Shia is most happy that he will not have to go to court,' said his lawyer, Michael Norris."
Remember last month when Andy Dick was arrested outside of a California Buffalo Wild Wings after he groped a 17-year-old girl and police found drugs in his pockets? Now it seems he's going to get a taste of celebrity justice, thanks to the Riverside County DA's announcement that the sexual battery charges will be dropped. Looks like Andy will soon be free to once again live up to his name.
Our boy Christian Bale will likely get off with a warning after allegedly assaulting his mother and sister in a London hotel last month, as long as he admits guilt when he answers bail in September. Normally we would roll our eyes at another case of celebrity justice, but it truly seems the whole situation was much ado about nothing. Of course, your mileage may vary.
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Khloe Kardashian's stint in jail came and went yesterday as the famewhore served 173 minutes of her original 30-day sentence. But before you start to think she had it easy, listen to these horrors she endured while serving her time: A woman on her bus suffered a seizure, her building was on lockdown after receiving a bomb threat, and the guards wouldn't give Khloe a blanket even though she was cold.
The worst part? She didn't even get to wear a cute orange jumpsuit — she was in and out so quickly she didn't have time to change clothes. Oh, the humanity!
Look for Khloe's tearful post-jail interview this week on Larry King Live.
This might be interesting had Paris Hilton not already done it first: Khloe Kardashian will report to jail Friday to serve her 30-day sentence for DUI. You remember her DUI arrest, right? It was reenacted for an episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Oh, I was the only one who watched it?
Anyhoo, the judge has decided to "make an example out of her," but she will likely only serve less than one day of her 30-day sentence. Apparently even being a D-lister's sibling is enough to get you the celebrity justice treatment.
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Stupid tabloids, stars aren't like us at all! That's why, despite the fact that she was arrested in early June in Manhattan for buying both crack and powder cocaine, Oscar winning junkie Tatum O'Neal was yesterday allowed to plead guilty to a lesser charge of disturbing the peace.
Her punishment for disrupting the placidity of New York with her multiple cocaine purchases is two drug treatment classes and a $95 fine. Try pulling that off as a Dominican mother of two on welfare!
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