MCCAIN CAMPAIGN CENSORING REPORTERS The Straight Talk Express has apparently been derailed: "Reporters weren't permitted to wander around inside Coachman Park in Clearwater to talk to Palin's audience, the St. Petersburg Times reported. When reporters tried to leave the designated press area and head to where the crowd was seated, an escort would dart out, confront him or her and say, 'Can I help you?' and turn the person around, Times staff writer Eileen Schulte wrote on the paper's Web site. When one reporter asked an escort, who would not give her name, why the press wasn't allowed to mingle, she said that in the past, negative things had been written, Schulte reported."

GOVERNMENT EXTINGUISHES TRUTH "Have you seen the new Bette Davis postage stamp? It's a photo from ALL ABOUT EVE, and after staring at it for a while I realized there was something wrong. She has a gloved hand raised beneath her chin in a very awkward pose. They removed a cigarette from her fingers! Censorship from our Uncle Sam. Didn't they think anyone would notice? Film historians should revolt!"

So, you know how Sarah Palin tried to censor her local library while mayor of Wasilla, Alaska? Well, here's ABC News' report on the matter, including a bit about at least one of the books were of the gay variety.

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IMBECILES PROTEST CHARACTERS USING MEAN WORD "Several dozen disability advocates converged in front of Monday night's Westwood premiere of 'Tropic Thunder' to protest the comedic use of the word retard. Chanting 'Ban the movie, ban the word,' marchers carried signs with such slogans as 'R-word = hate speech' and passed out flyers urging a boycott of the comedy. The DreamWorks film, which features Ben Stiller playing an actor best known for his role as a mentally challenged man in the ficticious drama 'Simple Jack,' has garnered a wave of criticism in recent weeks culminating with Monday's protest." Ban the word? Smells like fascism! Quick, everyone fire your commie friends' copies of Huckleberry Finn and To Kill a Mockingbird.

Yay! Time for another game of Guess That Bleep. Much like with Mad Libs, your job is to find the appropriate word or phrase to fill in the space left vacant by mass media's increasingly arbitrary standards of decency.

Today's is a doozy:

Which cocaine-loving actress is said to be relying on her closeted husband to meet guys? A source says that when they were at a party recently, the hubby asked a fellow guest, "Do you want to [bleep] my wife? Because you can.”

Gawd, how awful are famous people?

Anyway, our guess is, "Do you want to get a great blueberry muffin recipe from my wife? Because you can." Your turn; have fun with it.