• This video of a cat trying to fit in a yogurt box is strangely captivating. [CityRag]
• Jennifer Aniston is reportedly pregnant with twins. Of course she is. [Yeeeah]
• Paris Hilton lost last night's presidential election. How did this happen?! [PS]
• Anne Hathaway's new boyfriend is about 500 steps up from her last. [INO]
• Hollywood's newest love muffin, Robert Pattinson: “I always get carried away when I’m kissing people. I just go nuts.” Swoon! [ICYDK]
• Tom Cruise plans to ruin Charlize Theron. [DListed]
• Brooke Hogan: The epitome of class. [Yeeeah]
• Charlize Theron tells guests in her home looking for the bathroom to "take a left at the Oscar." That's actually kind of awesome. [INO]
• Maggie Gyllenhaal looks … tired. [ICYDK]
• Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are sad because they have a long-distance relationship. You know what else is sad? When people can't afford to fly to see their families. Man up, you two. [PS]
• Britney Spears' sad attempt to disguise herself from the paparazzi. [DListed]
• Not as adorable as Rupert, but this little puppy will have to do for now. [CityRag]
[Source]
• Did Charlize Theron get plastic surgery? People with too much time on their hands want to know. [CityRag]
• Top 10 things overheard at Pam Anderson's birthday party. [Yeeeah]
• Reality TV is about to get even worse: Paris Hilton wants to do a show with Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan. [INO]
• Heidi Klum should know better than to prance around town in her husband's jeans. [PS]
• Colin Farrell acts like a decent human being after hitting his neighbor's parked car. Taking notes, Brit? [ICYDK]
• Which one of the twerps from Home Improvement got tasered? [DListed]
David Letterman must really enjoy the movie Hancock: In the past week, he's had Jason Bateman, Will Smith and now Charlize Theron on his show. Charlize, whom we love, was the proud owner of the most bizarre interview, which was so disjointed and uncomfortable it beat out the weird Dave/Will kiss from the night before. At the end of the interview, Charlize joked about being drunk — and we really do hope alcohol is to blame, because if not, her jokes make for painful situations. CONTINUED »
Apparently, people are still listening to Coldplay. We thought that was something one abandoned after undergrad, like using "party" as a verb and drinking grain alcohol. But, no, the pop rockers put on a free show at Madison Square Garden Monday night and a lot of adults showed up—some of them famous, many of them models. Click through to see what type of person sits through an entire Coldplay concert.
CONTINUED »
The MTV Movie Awards were held last night, and I admittedly couldn't bring myself to sit through the hours-long crapfest. Just by looking at the pictures (after the jump), it's obvious I didn't miss much.
Anyone care to share exciting stories from the show (if you decided to punish yourself last night)? CONTINUED »
Do you have some of the milkiest, whitest skin the Northwest has ever seen? Has any underminer ever given you the backhanded compliment that you look like Charlize Theron were she noticeably fatter? If so, you could be in a movie opposite Viggo Mortensen, according to a recent ad in a Portland paper.
Anybody ever tell you that you look like Charlize Theron . . . especially if Theron were four months pregnant?
If so, then Portland's Lana Veenker Casting Co. would like to see a photo of you — your full body and swollen tummy, as well as your face — as soon as possible. Veenker is looking for someone to play Theron's double next month when a movie adaptation of Cormac McCarthy's Pulitzer Prize-winning novel, "The Road," begins filming in Portland.
The Academy Award-winning actress is scheduled to play the wife of actor Viggo Mortensen. With such a high-caliber cast, no fake pregnant bellies would do.
To be considered, you need to have milky-white skin and radiant blond or dirty-blond hair. You need to stand a regal 5-foot-9 to 5-foot-11 and normally wear an envied size 6 or 8. Having Theron's sultry eyes and full lips may be optional depending upon the demands of the scenes but certainly won't hurt your chances.
Don't worry, prudes: if chosen, there'd be no nude scenes. Compensation is $125 per day. So what are you waiting for, Oregon blonds with "envied" figures? Start eating and stop using birth control.
• New York has no poverty! Or Puerto Ricans! [CityRag]
• Gayelle? [DListed]
• So much food for such a little girl. [PS]
• Put them away, mom! [HT]
• Scientologists are being preyed upon by a clandestine organization! This is really happening! [INO]
• Charlize Theron at Sundance. That's all there is to it. [ICYDK]
• Amy Winehouse is in rehab trying to sort out her life. Seriously, how is she not dead? [Yeeeah]
TURKEY INDEED "…Charlize Theron showed a shaky grasp of geography when discussing her travels…The 32-year-old South African actress said: 'We went to Turkey. When we got over there, we rented a car and we drove all the way to Budapest. By the time we got to Budapest it was like the Cannes Film Festival, I'd never seen anything like it.' Miss Theron had actually turned up in the midst of the Istanbul International Film Festival."
• This is burning up the Internets. Enjoy, whether it be the first time or the fifth. [BWE]
• Britney eventually showed for that court date. Better late than stupendously negligent. [DListed]
• "Girls Don't Like Boys, Girls Like Guys From TV" [PS]
• Alright, the no underwear thing has to stop. Not funny anymore. Not really funny the first time, either. [HT]
• Awesome giant rock that's not rare at all. [ICYDK]
• False alarm. The Hate Wall of Jolie remains solid. [INO]
• Esquire magazine names Charlize Theron the Sexiest Woman Alive. Knowing that that's how imaginative they are, you can go ahead and cancel your subscription before you even get that issue. [Yeeeah]
• Robert Smith is prettier. [CityRag]
We've given wealthy corporations rap, punk rock, Johnny Cash, skateboarding, New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, lobster, graffiti and jeans—can't we keep cowboy for us? Seeing Hermès scarves on the ranch just ain't right.
After the jump, more from Charlize Theron's new Vogue shoot.
CONTINUED »
If these blockbuster action flicks aren't even employing a makeup staff, why the fuck am I expected to pay $15 for a ticket? For that price, I want pictures of her getting her toes licked while drinking lobster and herb butter smoothies whenever there's down time.
More wasteful spending under here.
CONTINUED »
Height
6' 2" (1.88 m)
Height
5' 9½" (1.77 m)
After the jump, more from the set of Hancock.
CONTINUED »
• Pete Doherty has been banned from the streets of London. Now you can feel free shoot up at the pub without him bogarting your stash. [DListed]
• Charlize goes for a birthday swim in Belize. Next stop, delis in some jellies. [HT]
• Apparently this movie is The Little Rascals meets A Clockwork Orange meets The Beach. Should be great. [ICYDK]
• Paris Hilton's mother offers her the comfort of unnecessarily soft blankets, thereby creating the literal scenario to accompany the figurative one that's destroyed her daughter's life. [Yeeeah]
• Some cat with his face in a glass. I don't know. [CityRag]
• The Scarlet Kitty. [NYT]
The haircut hinted at it, but this outfit solidifies it: Victoria Beckham's style icon is Æon Flux. Not the safe Charlize Theron version, either; I'm talking about the risqué original version that you didn't want your mom to catch you watching. For children raised in the 90s, that cartoon was the first one to give us funny feelings below the belt instead of laughs. Posh's outfit here is automatically hip because it's reminiscent of Liquid Television, probably the hippest, most interesting thing MTV has ever aired.
I do believe we have a winner for the "Most Avoidable Lawsuit" award:
Swiss watchmaker Raymond Weil is suing the actress for wearing a Christian Dior timepiece when she was supposed to wear only Weil watches, the Associated Press reports.
According to court papers filed Monday, Theron, 31, was paid "substantial funds" to model in the company's ad campaign and wear its watches exclusively from October 2005 to December 2006.
Meanwhile, she was also the face of a Dior perfume, and "was actually photographed wearing a watch from the Christian Dior line" at a press event in Austin, Texas, on March 14, 2006, the suit claims. (A photo of Theron wearing the offending watch is included as an exhibit.)
All Charlize had to do was wear one specific brand of watch in public for a year. That's it. She didn't have to build the watches. She didn't have to buy the watches. She didn't even have to consult the watches for the time if she didn't want to. Was that really too much to ask?
[Source]
• Watch out paparazzi, Tara Reid might "fucking kick your ass" for these photos. [Splash]
• Leah Remini is going to keep talking about Baby Suri until someone actually starts caring, or believing her. [Hollywood Rag]
• Tired of acting, Charlize Theron has committed herself fully to bikini wearing. [Egotastic]
• Drew Barrymore's shirt is lying. Lying I say. [PopSugar]
• Tom Cruise can be called a lot of things, but apparently sexist isn't one of them. [Faded Youth]
• I can talk smack about celebs all I want, but when I see them pictured next to normals, it all makes a little more sense. [CityRag]
• Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson doing the nasty? Innnteresting. Very interesting. [Us Weekly]
• It's easier to handle Katie Holmes when she covers up those dead eyes of hers. [PopSugar]
• I'm no expert, but I think that Charlize Theron is doing okay career wise, even up against luminaries like Scarlett Johansson. Maybe it's the Oscar. [Celebitchy]
• Since when did Jessica Biel have an ass like that? [Egotastic]
• Marcia Cross decided between black and white…washer/dryer combos. [The Gilded Moose]
• What if there was a day without celebrity gossip? [Junkiness]
• Hilary Duff totally almost makes out with herself in this video. [DListed]
Editor
