Despite the fact that she believes her life is boring and monotonous, Britney Spears had an action-filled day to celebrate turning 27 years old. She kicked things off with a circus and lackluster performance on Good Morning America and then taped her portion of the Rockefeller tree lighting ceremony (spoiler alert!) before celebrating her birthday at Tenjune. At no point in the day did anyone point out that this over-the-top celebration is probably more well-suited for a five-year-old.
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Technically, we can't say we have a crush on this kid, 9-year-old Alec Greven from Castle Rock, Colo., because that would be considered pedophilia and the last thing we need is Chris Hansen showing up on our doorstep asking all sorts of invasive questions. So instead we'll just say that Alec is a genius.
You see, Alec wrote a book detailing how to win over women — all at the ripe age of 8. The masterpiece, titled How to Talk to Girls, helps men way more than any of Mystery's techniques ever could without offending women or treating them like pieces of meat. What a concept!
After the jump, some of Alec's wise words. CONTINUED »
To be perfectly honest, a few months ago we weren't sure Britney Spears would even live to see her 27th birthday, so today is a small miracle in the life of MTV's favorite train wreck. And, as we've been told 100 times in the past hour, she also has an album out today, appropriately titled Circus. So far the excitement hasn't gotten to Brit, who held it together long enough to perform a couple songs on Good Morning America and accept birthday wishes from other Hollywood stars. Sure, her dancing was lackluster compared to the Britney of yore, but, like we've said before, we have severely low expectations when it comes to the head shaving fanatic. The mother of two is nearing 30 years old and still celebrates her birthday like she's turning five — clearly she's not in the most stable state of mind.
After the jump: A couple other clips from this morning's GMA pandemonium. CONTINUED »
Britney Spears, on whether or not she feels she missed out on her childhood:
I only did [The Mickey Mouse Club] for two years, and for six months out of each year I was at home all the time. I had a wonderful childhood, I was probably in my tenth year of school when I left to record my album — so I did the whole prom thing and played on the basketball team. There are some kids in show business who are always in New York and constantly going to audition, but I was fortunate it wasn't like that for me.
The sad thing is, she honestly believes she had a perfectly normal upbringing. She doesn't know any better. Going to prom does not equal being raised in a typical, stable environment.
THIS IS GOOD FOR THE KIDS • "Suri Cruise is hotter than Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's kids. At least according to Forbes.com's 'Hollywood's 10 Hottest Tots.' Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' 2-year-old daughter topped the second annual list, which ranks celeb kids 5 years old and younger based on media attention and their parents' popularity."
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Amy Poehler's Smart Girls at the Party finally debuted with even more awesomeness and fanfare than we previously expected. The premiere episode features Cameron, a 10-year-old writer who has more potential in her pinky finger than all of Hollywood's starlets combined. Amy handles her like a pro and makes us hope that one day she can teach everyone's daughters how to be as great as her. The best part, however, is at the end, where there's a full-on dance party with Will Arnett and Kristen Wiig. Too many amazing people in one scene, if you ask us.
Twilight, the teen, vampire, romance movie based on a hyper-successful series of books, has yet to be released and very possibly could be terrible. But that didn't stop throngs of screaming tweens from trampling each other yesterday at a Hot Topic autograph signing with the film's creepy lead, Robert Pattinson.
This violent display of idol worship took place not in some abandoned backwater, but "civilized" Western metropolis San Francisco. A young girl's nose was broken, the cops came and the event was cancelled, all because we're still having trouble teaching our kids to appreciate their teachers more than movie goblins.
The persecution of "witches" throughout the African continent continues.
Far worse than Thomas Muthee, Sarah Palin's spiritual adviser who famously ran an old lady from his village in Kenya after deeming her evil, is the story of the "child-witches" of Nigeria. Convinced by insane, stupid, greedy clerics that their children are being possessed wholesale by demons, Nigerian parents have taken to abandoning boys and girls as young as five after torturing them for their sins. The innocents who have survived their attacks now clog the West African nation's refuges.
JAYDEN JAMES RELEASED FROM HOSPITAL "Britney Spears' two-year-old son Jayden is out of hospital and back with his family, according to a post on the singer's Web site. 'A source close to the Spears family has told us that Britney and family have left the Southwest Mississippi Regional Medical Center,' says the update. 'Jayden is fine.'"
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WHY JAYDEN JAMES WAS HOSPITALIZED "Now we've gotten to the bottom of why Jayden James was rushed to the hospital yesterday. Sources tell TMZ he ingested something that didn't agree with him. We are told, contrary to several reports, it was NOT a seizure. We're told he'll probably be discharged tomorrow."
OH, DEAR "A source confirms to ET that Britney Spears' son, Jayden James, has been admitted to the hospital. The two-year-old was rushed to the emergency room when he became ill. The family was on a trip to Britney's family home in Kentwood, Louisiana."
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On this day in 1969, transcendent children's program Sesame Street debuted on PBS, changing television forever. After the jump, a collection of some of the Street's most memorable guest appearances, complete with our favorite: kids freaking out to Stevie Wonder's "Superstition."
FROM HIS COLD, DEAD, LITTLE HANDS Let's hope Obama does something about the guns: "Authorities are investigating whether criminal charges should be filed in the death of an 8-year-old boy who fatally shot himself with an Uzi at a gun show in western Massachusetts, a prosecutor said Tuesday. Christopher Bizilj (Bah-SEAL) of Ashford, Conn., lost control of the 9mm micro submachine gun and shot himself in the head at the Machine Gun Shoot and Firearms Expo at the Westfield Sportsman's Club … Hampden County District Attorney William Bennett said Tuesday he is investigating whether it was a violation of the state's firearms statute … to allow the boy to fire the machine gun … 'At this point in the investigation I have found no lawful authority which allows an 8-year-old to possess or fire a machine gun,' Bennett said in a statement."
Have any of you been watching the CW's Stylista? As you may recall, we think the fashion magazine reality competition is pretty awesome, from the unnecessary cat fights to Elle news director Anne Slowey's sad inability to walk in heels.
Last night was even more glorious than we had hoped, thanks to Slowey's niece, Erin, who was described as "one of the most fashion-forward and demanding women you will ever work for." Erin turned 10 years old during the episode and instructed the contestants to plan her birthday party. Here were her demands: "I want my party to be fabulous. I want it at FAO Schwarz. So do not embarrass me." Yeah, this girl has no issues whatsoever.
After what feels like years of disgusting tales from the presidential campaigns, here's something heartwarming: Children getting involved in the political process in a cute way, without being forced to play mouthpiece for their parents. We're all for kids learning to love politics at an early age as long as they are open to both sides and not brainwashed into thinking one way or the other (for an example of that, revisit this).
And remember: You can vote however you like today. Just go vote.
'SEX' CAUSES PREGNANCY? "Teenagers who watch Sex in the City, Friends and other TV shows featuring sex scenes and discussions of sex are far more likely to get pregnant or get someone else pregnant than their peers, a new study has found. The study, which tracked more than 700 sexually active teenagers aged between 12 and 17 for three years, discovered that those who viewed the most sexual content were almost twice as likely to get pregnant or get their girlfriend pregnant as those who saw the least explicit TV."
What is going on with Australia? We thought they were just fun-loving, rough-and-tumble party animals with a taste for bad beer, but we're quickly learning that perhaps the old saying holds true: once a nation of convicts, always a nation of convicts.
A month ago we told you about this kid, who broke into a zoo in the early morning and smashed reptiles to death with a rock before feeding them to a crocodile. Now, there's this:
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