Let's play a fun game. It's called "What the Hell is [insert D-lister's name here] Doing at Sundance?"
[Source]
Based on this photo, one might assume Lydia Hearst is a laughable sideshow attraction paid to stand and hold things only because of the name attached to her face attached to her pert breasts. But one would be wrong. Brother, she is deep.
Not quite, but amazing! And get this: She calls her merry band of ragamuffins, which includes in its ranks famous baller Cisco Adler, "the 2.0." (That's right: the two point oh.)
CONTINUED »
• Never is the creativity of most Americans better tested than on Halloween. These costumes say more than "ill-fitting." [ICYDK]
• Turds of a feather… [EBG]
• When alcoholism is the least of one's concerns, perhaps one is in poor shape. [DListed]
• Shia LaBeouf finally giving up on all that "I'm not a clubber" jazz to become the drunken kisser you knew he could be. [PS]
• Why more than one swimsuit? [HT]
• Another one bites the mustache. [INO]
• Oxygen masks? Isn't that called living. [Yeeeah]
• Guacamole in a baby's chest cavity? So great. [CityRag]
When your dog dies and your girlfriend hates you, I can understand going on a bender. I'd even venture to say I'm a proponent of it. But going on a bender, wrecking the venue you're sucking at and exposing your notorious genitalia to a room filled with cameras augments bender to screeching breakdown. It's a fine line, and it's generally always breached when the zipper comes down.
PS When Cisco drops his pants, make sure to pay attention to the awestruck face of the young lady at his left. Then pay attention to how quickly and nonchalantly she grabs his naked ass.
[Source]
Us is reporting that Paris Hilton (pictured here with the longest armed member of the Dixie Chicks), the supposedly erstwhile proponent of all things bacchanalian, might have been deceiving people when she said she was going to clean up her life—imagine that!
It looks like Paris Hilton's post-prison "new leaf" is one you can smoke. Out at Guy's nightclub in West Hollywood on July 24, Hilton and Mischa Barton's ex Cisco Adler sang karaoke, made out and got high.
The duo, who Usmagazine.com sources witnessed making out more than once, were perhaps feeling loose and lovey due to the marijuana they were openly smoking at the club. As the 4 Non Blondes song "What's Up" played in the background, Hilton sang along, replacing the chorus' "what's going on" lyric with "let's smoke a bowl!"
Just when you thought "What's Up" couldn't get any more grating, huh? Regardless, you'd think someone so dim would want to keep their faculties as sharp as possible at all times. Wrong, motherfucker, "let's smoke a bowl!" And because I know people get fucking aggressive the moment I say anything bad about weed—a remarkably counterintuitive response—here's something new that you should check out before starting with the "It's just pot, narc" spiel.
More of the traitorous Natalie Maines after the jump.
CONTINUED »
OK, we all know fashion is arbitrary and that getting admirers to say "Cool shirt" in Oklahoma and New York will require you do something different in both places, right? Right. "Fashion," then, is basically an abstract concept with little to no certainty and specious relevance, and therefore pointless to study, right? Right. Yet still, for some reason, there are people who fancy themselves such fashion experts that they would give interviews on the topic in which they call designers "up-and-coming" or "really, really great," thereby giving validity to something that doesn't have it without these types of interviews. It's all pretty stupid and sad until one of these mavens pronounces Givenchy "guy-vin-she," while sycophantically obsessing over something, thus proving they're not even a qualified sycophant. And that, friends, is when things actually do get really, really great.
PS Skip forward about four minutes if you think Cisco Adler's a dipshit.
[Source]
• To fully appreciate the video above, you need to start with this. Then you will grasp the genius. [BWE]
• Bruce Willis says during his darkest days he turned to Will Smith for guidance, meaning that, sometimes, life really does imitate The Legend of Bagger Vance. Thank God. [DListed]
• Sienna and Keira: So happy together. [DS]
• Damn her awareness and self-respect! [HT]
• Cisco Adler's genitalia gets a resurgence in popularity thanks to Sarah Silverman. [CityRag]
• Do your worst, copper. No mortal man's prison can hold The Hoff when he's on a whiskey bender. [Yeeeah]
• Sarah Michelle Gellar still does stuff? [ICYDK]
• Dick in a box live. Still only kinda funny. [CollgeHumor]
• Going after Paris' wallet is probably the best mode of attack. Of course, even if no company hires her to endorse anything ever again, she's still going to have millions and millions of dollars. How's that for a sinking feeling? [NYP, Sixth down]
• The reason Cisco's out of it is 'cause his wits are in his balls. [PopSugar]
• Nicole Richie stricken with anxiety about how everyone knows she's always on drugs. Somebody should get her some drugs and help her relax. [Jossip]
• The rundown on the free stuff people are getting at the Grammys. The free copy of "Guitar Hero II" should come with a bag of weed. [JJ]
• Jessica Simpson plans on adopting kids. I hope they won't be home schooled. [INO]
• [In the style of annoying diva voice] Kylie Minogue lookin' sexy like, "Who's Olivier?" GO GIRL! [ASL]
Now that the end is upon us, we can see that all Mischa needed was some hanging testes to push her over the edge.
Mischa Barton, 21, can't handle the naked truth about Cisco Adler.
A source tells Us Weekly the pair parted ways after nude photos of Adler, 28, surfaced on the Web.
This NSFW pic of Adler hanging loose, which turned up among Paris Hilton's possessions when the contents of the heiress' unpaid storage locker were posted online at parisexposed.com (the site was later shut down).
Says a source, "They had a blowup. She was furious."
Hope you haven't had lunch, yet, 'cause the real one is there to the right. Feel free to click it. I wouldn't recommend it, though.
[Source]
• I can see it in his eyes;Jon Stewart's son is already gearing up to point out the inadequacies of the American political system. [Rosie DeMario]
• Mischa Barton's boyfriend's album has only sold 812 copies. Mischa probably bought more vintage t-shirts than that last week alone. [Egotastic]
• Angelina Jolie says that she and Brad Pitt will adopt their next child, though I'm not sure they're taking applications. [DListed]
• Johnny Depp doesn't like America. Fine, we never liked you much either, Edward Whiney-Hands. [US Weekly]
• Though Reese Witherspoon doesn't want to show off her "cellulite and saggy boobs," I'd be willing to bet there are still a lot of people who want to see 'em. [JustJared]
• Gwen Stefani's baby only serves as a remider that we have not yet seen Suri Cruise. [A Socialite's Life]
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