• "I'm headed eastbound leading your hair space." Brilliant, really. [BWE]

• Are they finally getting stars on Dancing With the Stars? (I mean, come on, Clyde Drexler?)

• Jessica Simpson can breathe through her nose. Now to get her to think through her brain. [HT]

• Oddly, Sharon Stone's adopted children look like they could be her real children. Where's her Asian one? [ICYDK]

• Why does he bark like a dog if he kills dogs? Is he self-loathing? [Yeeeah]

• For real fun, take acid and watch Inland Empire in a room of mirrors and demon figurines. [CityRag]

• I know who bored me. [DS]