Nike's "Just Do It" theme is 20-years-old this year! Happy birthday, famous commercial!

The slogan is now twice as old as the children who sew it onto jackets.

That ridiculous and toxic "cool spotting" Web site we told you about earlier is already being made a mockery of using the very tools it provides. Though the site signed a deal giving exclusive sponsorship rights to Pepsi, Coca-Cola Classic is apparently the preferred soft drink of famous cool people. Ha!

If you've prepared yourself for an outburst of creative energy from the Hollywood machine after it was silenced during the three-month writer's strike, STOP BELIEVING IN THE WORLD!!!!

Universal Pictures has announced a six-year partnership with Hasbro to produce at least four feature films based on branded properties.

The properties include “Monopoly,” “Candy Land,” “Clue,” “Ouija,” “Battleship,” “Magic, The Gathering” and “Stretch Armstrong.”
…
“This deal gives Universal access to some of the greatest brands in the world,” [the Universal chairman said] in a statement. “Hasbro’s portfolio of products has tremendous emotional resonance with children and adults. They offer an exciting opportunity for us to develop tentpole movies with built-in global brand awareness, which is a key component of our slate strategy.”

Did that nonsense lose you? Not to worry, here's the exact points in which the chairman of Universal calls you and me commercial boobs who can't help but buy familiar things:

• "This deal gives Universal access to some of the greatest brands in the world"

• "tremendous emotional resonance with children and adults"

• "tentpole movies with built-in global brand awareness, which is a key component"

Were tag lines honest: "Because why play Candy Land with your children when you can just set them in front of a movie about it?"