Tommy and his robot lady are on Oprah right now. Click through for a couple notes on the show from Lauren, who wisely didn't come into the office today.

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Nicole Kidman, the world's thinnest pregnant woman, has limited contact with the two children, Isabella and Connor, she and ex-husband Tom Cruise adopted years ago, according to Page Six. Bad news, especially because Kidman, a Catholic, wants the kids out of the Church of Scientology and under the yoke of her belief system. We hope someone has the heart to tell her it's much too late.

In most men's lives there comes a moment when they realize that one day, perhaps soon, they will be able to kick their father's ass. Connor Cruise looks to have just figured that out (and maybe right on time).

[Source]

The Cruise holiday card is in! We didn't get one, but Us did. (No fair! We've never called Katie's hair "controversial.") Anyway: that's it? Not even a picture? What are they doing with all that money?

A very democratic "Happy holidays," though. And the blindfold is a bonus for the joyous Scientologist squeezing in some last-minute, '07 torture.

In an effort to bolster the ever-assailed decorum of the Internet, Mollygood looks to poetry with Someone Haiku. Each day—using 17 syllables or less—you’re given the opportunity to wax poetic about some piece of flotsam or jetsam that’s washed up on the shores of Mollygood. Hopefully this Zen practice will not only bathe you in self-discovery, but also bring a touch of Eastern class to a global network of information that’s devolved into nothing more than tit websites and provocative MySpace pictures.

Today's Someone Haiku winner is whatev:

Screw your way to fame.
“A naked chick does yoga”.
Proud Rosa would weep.

Well done, everyone.

There's a new one after the jump.

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