Justice came a little late for OJ Simpson today when a judge sentenced him to 15 years in prison for armed robbery, conspiracy to kidnap and assault with a deadly weapon.
A "choked up" Simpson delivered one final defense before his sentencing:
I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all of it. I didn't mean to hurt anybody and I didn't mean to steal from anybody.
Really, OJ? Really? You didn't mean to steal from anybody? Sure you didn't. And that gun you brought along to the scene of the crime was definitely not an indicator that you meant to hurt anybody, right? Great logic there.
Enjoy prison, where you should have been all along.
Update: A glorious clip of OJ's sentencing after the jump. CONTINUED »
BOY GEORGE GUILTY OF FALSE IMPRISONMENT • "Boy George has been convicted of falsely imprisoning a male escort. The jury in a London court sided with Audun Carlsen, 29, who claimed that the former Culture Club frontman (real name George O'Dowd), 46, had handcuffed him and beat him with a metal chain. (The musician … admitted to cuffing the escort, but said it was because he suspected the man of tampering with his computer.)"
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BRITNEY KNOWS HOW TO PICK 'EM • "Jason Alexander — who was married to Britney Spears for 55 hours in 2004 — was arrested in L.A. Wednesday on a probation violation. As part of his parole stemming from a 2006 DUI arrest, Alexander, 27, was ordered to complete an alcohol education program. According to court papers, a judge sentenced him to 10 days in jail Wednesday after he blew off a second appointment visiting the county morgue."
Once again, Amy Winehouse's husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, has proven that he's quite the catch: After being released from prison early on the condition that he stay off drugs and go to rehab, Blake Incarcerated is being shipped back to the big house for failing a drug test.
Upon hearing the news, the 26-year-old Casanova rushed to Amy's hospital bed (wait, we can't keep up — she's back in the hospital?) to beg for forgiveness. One can only assume his request was met with a bunch of grunts and a startled "Where am I?"
So now it's prison for Blakey Poo until 2010, which is quite a shame, because according to a source he would have been out for good next month had he not taken the original rehab option. Good thinking, B! Remember kids: Stay off the drugs.
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So a funny thing happened on the way to the E.R. this morning … a UCLA hospital worker admitted to the courts that she had been selling the hospital records of famous patients like Farrah Fawcett and Britney Spears to weekly rag The National Enquirer.
49-year old Lawanda Jackson plead guilty to the felony charges that brought $4,600 dollars into her husbands checking account through the AMI mag, and could face 10 in prison and $250,000 in fines.
As for The National Enquirer's punishment for buying the records?
"Boy George" and "bondage" are two phrases we really don't enjoy seeing next to each other, but jurors in his false imprisonment trial got an earful of it as they listened to a tape of Boy George made by investigators.
As so often happens when you're a 80s club icon with a history of substance abuse and scandal, Boy George became suspicious that the 29 year old Norwegian hustler in his apartment was hacking into his computer. So George did what any sensible person would do in that situation: He handcuffed the hustler to the bed. He told investigators on the tape:
I asked him to come [back to my flat] because I wanted to find out if this guy had borrowed my stuff… He struggled a bit when I was [handcuffing him] because he realised I wasn't messing around…I didn't tell him the reason I was doing what I was doing….I said I just wanted to check something. He was saying: 'Let me go'…I absolutely admit I had him in the handcuffs, so he wouldn't go anywhere while I checked the computer. I certainly wasn't going to kill him, that's hardly going to do my career any good is it?
FINALLY, AN ARREST IN THE HUDSON MURDERS • "Jennifer Hudson's estranged brother-in-law, William Balfour, was arrested Monday in the slayings of the Oscar winner's mother, brother and 7-year-old nephew, according to Chicago police."
In some completely WTF? news, President Bush yesterday commuted the 14-year prison sentence of former Fugee associate John Forté. Forté has been in jail since 2000, when he was arrested at a New Jersey airport in possession of $1.4 million worth of liquid cocaine.
More information is now being made available about Mario Majorski, the crazy person who snapped and stormed the Scientology Celebrity Centre in Hollywood yesterday armed with two samurai swords. Of course, the confrontation ended in death when the building's guards shot and killed Majorski, a former Scientologist.
Over recent years, the man demonstrated his lack of mental stability. He swung an ax at an Auto Club employee, was arrested at a Mormon church service for disorderly conduct, threatened to shoot police who attempted to investigate his home, and even picked up a restraining order from the medical facility at which his mother (who has since died) was a patient. And, to top it all off, he made a series of threatening phone calls in 2005 to the Scientology offices in LA and Oregon. The church described the threats as "ranging from veiled statements that 'something bad' would happen to the church to direct threats of violence."
And check out that mug shot! If that doesn't send chills down your spine, we don't know what will.
CLASSY LADY • "Mary Delgado, The Bachelor season six winner, was arrested and charged with public intoxication, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct in Del Rio, Texas, on Saturday night. … Delgado was asked to leave Lorina's Cantina, but refused, saying it was her 'constitutional right' to remain at the bar as long she wanted. Law enforcement was called to the scene and she was taken into custody."
LOCKLEAR CHARGED WITH DUI TWO MONTHS LATER • "Heather Locklear has been formally charged with driving under the influence of drugs in connection with her September arrest, the Santa Barbara, Calif., District Attorney's Office said Monday. The misdemeanor charge filed by the DA's office specifies that the drugs in question were 'prescription medications.' If convicted, the actress, 47, faces penalties ranging from a fine to up to six months in county jail."
FAMOUS BILLIONAIRES HAVE PROBLEMS, TOO • "Billionaire Internet entrepreneur and onetime Dancing With The Stars contestant Mark Cuban has been charged with insider trading. The Securities Exchange Commission alleges that in June 2004, Mamma.com Inc. invited Cuban to participate in a confidential stock offering after he agreed to keep the information private. Less than four hours later, he learned the company was planning to raise money through a public offering and that the stock price was about to fall. To avoid losses in excess of $750,000, he allegedly instructed his broker to to sell all of his Mamma.com stock."
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BAD NEWS FOR ASHLEE SIMPSON • "On the heels of the Olympics Opening Ceremony, for which the cute little singer was revealed to be lip-synching, the Chinese Ministry of Culture says it will name and shame artists who fake it when performing — and repeat offenders could lose their license to perform. According to the Ministry's website, artists must not 'use pre-recorded songs or music to replace live singing or instrument playing' to 'cheat the public.'"
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• That precious puppy cam is taking the world by storm. [DListed]
• Kanye West was arrested for assaulting a paparazzo. No, this isn't news from a couple months ago — it actually happened again. [INO]
• The Jonas Brothers make normal feuds sleep-inducing. Where are the train wrecks? [Yeeeah]
• Hilary Duff will be returning to our television screens in the near future. Well, at least she's no longer trying to sing. [ICYDK]
• Don't make a kissy face at us, Beyonce. [CityRag]
• Is it really necessary to show off this celebrity butt crack? [PS]
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME (ROTTEN) CHEESE WITH THAT WHINE? "Raffaello Follieri, the Italian businessman who dated actress Anne Hathaway, says his health has deteriorated because of 'unspeakably unsanitary' jail conditions and wants to be moved. … Since he was sentenced to 4-1/2 years in prison for fraud last month, he has had to contend with rotten food, foul odors and unclean toilets and as a result is running a fever and has blood in his urine, according to a letter from his lawyer made available on Wednesday."
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Bless Lou Pearlman's heart. The musical con artist, who is currently serving 25 years in a Florida prison for conspiracy and money laundering, is truly an inspiration to all Americans — despite the fact that he's locked up, the former manager of the likes of Backstreet Boys and 'NSync is trudging onward and forming a new boy band.
The name of the future group? Biteboy. We're not even going to touch that one.
Hopefully Biteboy's members like being robbed and molested — when he wasn't stealing money from his clients, Lou was giving the boys "creepy massages and rubbing their abs to align their auras." Sign us up!
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GOOD THINGS HAPPENING TO BAD PEOPLE "Monday morning could be absolutely huge in the Hudson family murder case — the cops' only suspect, William Balfour, could walk out of jail a free man. Law enforcement sources tell TMZ Balfour, who's only being held on a parole violation in a case unrelated to the murders, could "conceivably" skate if there's not enough evidence to prove he did violate his parole."
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