There's not a red carpet in Hollywood that Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag would leave untouched, which would explain why the two felt the urge to attend some sort of Pepsi event last night at Avalon. You would think, however, that after attending so many pointless events Spencer would learn how to properly wear a suit. And perhaps Heidi could get her pants hemmed. Just a thought.
More pictures after the jump. CONTINUED »
David Blaine, whose mission in life is to constantly top his own stupidity, has announced his next cry for attention: He will hang upside-down from a six-story highwire above Central Park for three days and two nights. During this time he must (obviously) sleep upside-down and will not be allowed to eat. Sounds fun. Oh, and this is going to be televised on national television Sept. 24 so everybody can join in the absurdity.
For those who will be in New York during this stunt, David wants you to stop by and say hello: "There are always some crazy things. I get flashed quite often. Luckily, mostly from girls." Yeah, luckily.
Later, Blaine plans to break the world record for sleep deprivation, which should be easier than his failed attempt at abstaining from being a tool.
Thank goodness The Hills returned last night — Mondays simply weren't the same without Spencer Pratt and his creepy flesh-colored beard gracing our television sets. Apparently this season's Speidi storyline will revolve around Heidi's sister, Holly, because the couple has no other friends and needs a new punching bag. The manufactured drama isn't necessarily interesting in the least, but we are consistently entertained by Spence's ability to raise the bar every week with his d-bag abilities. In the scene at left, Spencer welcomes Holly into his home the only way he knows how: By forcing her to watch him play X-Box while he ignores her.
Dave Coulier must be a really great actor, because he managed to make Full House's Uncle Joey come across as friendly and likable — the complete opposite of Coulier's real personality. One of our readers had quite an unpleasant experience with him while he was engaged to her cousin, but the most public indicator of Dave's obnoxiousness came in the form of ex-girlfriend Alanis Morissette's "You Oughta Know."
Dave said the first time he heard the song he thought, "Wow this girl is angry." You think? And then: "I think I have really hurt this person." Genius, this guy.
I tried to contact her and I finally got a hold of her. And at the same time, the press was calling and saying, 'You want to comment on this song?' I called her and I said, 'Hi. Uh, what do you want me to say?' And she said, 'You can say whatever you want.' We saw each other and hung out for an entire day. And it was beautiful. It was one of those things where it was kind of like, 'We're good.'
Look buddy, just because Alanis forgave you for being an ass doesn't mean we have to like you. She's a better person than the rest of us.
[Source]
The tool you see at left is named Jessie Godderz, one of the current houseguests on the reality competition Big Brother. CBS describes the 22-year-old body builder as "the all-American boy next door who graduated from high school in Iowa." Sure, except he's a massive tool who's caught the attention of The Soup because he is more in love with himself than should be allowed (you can watch that here). But the really endearing thing about Jessie is that the overachiever has already appeared on not one but two MTV dating shows, Exposed and Next. Good to know CBS is now in the business of picking up MTV's leftovers.
Click through for video of his appearances on both shows and prepare to fall in love with the obnoxious d-bag that is Jessie Godderz. (Spoiler alert: He takes his shirt off and flexes his muscles in both clips.)
Justin Timberlake insists he doesn't think of himself as a fashion icon, but does feel the need to take responsibility for one of the most annoying trends of all time:
It's funny, I keep hearing Ashton Kutcher say how he was responsible for trucker caps. [My best friend and I] were wearing them when we were seventeen.
We don't think that was all you, Justin, but you did bring back the d-bag trend. You'll always have that.
Ever wondered how Alex Rodriguez is dealing with all the media speculation surrounding his divorce and rumored affair with Madonna? Well, he brought in relationship expert Shaquille O'Neal to dish out advice last night during A-Rod's All-Star Week party at NYC's 40/40. Apparently the two were huddled together looking "pretty intense" during the party, where the DJ was sure to play lots of Madonna tracks.
But don't feel sorry for poor Alex — he held his head high and made sure security made a clean sweep before he visited the bathroom, even pulling one guy out of a stall. You can't keep a good d-bag down.
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You knew Spencer Pratt would have something to say after Mary-Kate Olsen and David Letterman discussed his weasel-like qualities, and boy is his response a doozy:
I don't really get why she'd use my name to get press for her little indie film that no one's going to see. She should probably focus more on not getting dressed in the dark than on me.
I know I've made it in Hollywood when a famous troll is talking about me on Letterman. I forgive her, though. She's had to go through life as the less cute twin, which must be tough.
How big of you, Spence. It's a shame nobody can forgive you for going through life as the biggest d-bag in America.
[Source]
No, seriously you guys: Why the hell is Mario Lopez still single? Isn't "mocking the homeless" on the top of every girls' list of charming qualities in a potential mate?
Mario Lopez, America's hottest bachelor of the year, decided he was so hot he needed to pimp out the new M&M's ice cream treats. And, just in case you were doubting the fact that he's one of the biggest tools in Hollywood, please direct your attention to the last picture, where he performs the "gun show" move to display his muscles. It's a wonder this guy's still single.
[Source]
OK, so this is another Hills post. But before you start shaking your fists and cursing my name, let me state for the record that I truly feel in my heart this is worthy of a posting, if only for the pure enjoyment of watching David Letterman make fun of Spencer Pratt for six minutes. To make matters worse, Dave gets so annoyed by Spencer that he resorts to visiting Heidi in the green room, where the interview grows 10 times more awkward than previously imagined. By the end of it all, I'm still left wondering: With The Hills on hiatus and no LC sex tape rumor to promote, what the hell was Spencer doing on Letterman in the first place? CONTINUED »
Yesterday we told you about the young student who had allowed a stranger to penetrate her on a crowded subway. Now, let's take a look at the type of New York man we imagine would participate in such an act.
Meet Paul Janka, a Manhattan fucker only Wall Street could produce. Janka has become slightly famous around town for…something, and in this video he claims he's well on his way to reality TV stardom. Networks are ravenous, he says, to have him in a show about "dating in the city." And why wouldn't they be? Janka's dating expertise is impeccable! Take, for instance, the meaningful relationship he recently had with a woman who blew him and then asked him to "rate" her performance. That's amore, no? He goes on to call anal sex, which he loves, "taboo," like he's a knitting grandma, and he even calls himself creative.
So, what's a girl gotta offer to have the privilege to suck this guy off? "Of course, intelligence." Of course.
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