THAT WAS EASY • "According to the British press, Madonna, 50, and [Guy] Ritchie, 40, reached a settlement over money and their kids Lourdes, 12, Rocco, 8, and David, 3. … Madonna will keep the bulk of her estimated $500 million fortune intact, though Ritchie was entitled by law to a share of it. Additionally, Rocco and David will split time between the U.S. and London, while Lourdes, whose father is Carlos Leon, will live with her mother."
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Yohane Banda, the man who allowed Madonna to adopt his child and then used the situation repeatedly to bask in the media spotlight, is back at it after hearing news of the singer's divorce from Guy Ritchie.
Instead of offering up a respectable "no comment," the father has this to say:
I am still a poor farmer with nothing to offer, but maybe he'd be better off back with us. This woman, Madonna, told me herself that David was beautiful and made her happy and she promised to take care of him. Now I see him in a big bewildering crowd in the street with people pushing and shoving, and many cameras around, and without a mother and father to hold his hand. I'm feeling bad for him.
OK, we tend to agree that celebrity children shouldn't have to put up with the paparazzi madness, but what good can come of Banda publicly wishing David was back in his arms? The child deserves better than being treated like a winning lottery ticket.
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• Madonna has upset adopted son David's biological father by saying it's "not even a possibility" David would have lived had she not swooped in to rescue the destitute Malawian boy. The baby daddy begs to differ. [ICYDK]
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Madonna is reportedly preparing to adopt yet another Malawian child, this time a 13-month-old named Mercy.
The singer is reported to have been given permission to take the little girl as a sister to David Banda, who she adopted from the country last year.
Madonna met 10 girls at the Kondanani Orphan Care Centre at Blantyre last October before deciding and, according to sources, "had her heart set" on another girl, Grace, until the child's extended family objected.
Officials are scheduled to meet with Madonna to assess whether her adoption will be made permanent
Now the star has been told she can adopt Mercy instead, and will file papers next February before taking her home two months later.
African officials went on to note that Grace is, in one way, very lucky: She is much too young to be able to remember the day her family relegated her to life in an orphanage in one of the world's least developed countries. Thanks, Aunt Jealous!
Madonna may be forced to return adopted Malawian son David Banda, amid allegations that the child welfare expert overseeing her case has become too personally invested in the matter.
According to a newspaper report in Malawi, the Minister of Women and Child Development, Kate Kainja, accused him of obtaining an air ticket to London and money from Madonna herself without his government's approval. The minister refused to allow Mr Kilembe to travel to assess the case, accusing him of "personalising" the matter.
She suggested that by accepting funding from Madonna he had compromised his neutrality.
"We have already contacted Madonna that someone else and not Kilembe will come to assess her, because we feel Mr Kilembe personalised the whole issue when other people can go," the Minister told the Malawi News.
Last night Mr Kilembe confirmed that he had been banned from making the trip, but denied that he personally asked the American star for a plane ticket.
He claimed that the decision to exclude him from the final decision on whether or not Madonna is allowed to keep David may result in the child being sent back to Malawi.
"What this means is that the whole adoption process may crumble and David is sent back to his village," he said.
UN officials say this case also serves as evidence that, as small murmurings in the media have suggested, African bureaucracy is corrupt and inefficient. Bono may be on to something.
Ah, hello. How are you, David Banda? I hope you're not tiring yourself out with that plastic helicopter too much, because you've got a lot of dates to go on. What? You didn't know? You're the famous adopted son of the queen of pop music and a director people love. You're already cute and, in a few more years, you'll have developed a British accent that, for some reason, women find absolutely irresistible. Top it all off with the sad story about how you were torn from your African homeland and you're melting doors into hearts around the world. I can't believe you haven't yet been hugged to death.
Better drink your Similac!
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