Alleged rapist David Copperfield has magically conjured one of his aphorisms onto those cutesy cups at Starbucks. And the timing is perfect!

The most important thing in life is to stop saying 'I wish' and start saying 'I will.' Consider nothing impossible, then treat possibilities as probabilities.

Well! State's evidence just grew by a venti.

Rape-usionist David Copperfield is reportedly trying to make the sexual assault charges brought against him by a (21-year-old!!!!!!) Seattle woman disappear. The woman alleges Copperfield invited her to a "lavish party" at his remote mansion in the Bahamas before revealing to her his wondrous trick: No party! She says he then forced himself on her.

So how's Copperfield make this go away? Wads of cash like so many doves from a top hat!

CONTINUED »

• Look where a career forged on the shoulders of a famous murderer gets a person. You're at the big dance, Shapiro. [Queerty]

• If poverty explains ugly, why is everyone in the favelas of Brazil at least an eight? Maybe just poor Americans are ugly. Or maybe wealthy Americans are just very ugly on the inside of their brains. [Gawker]

• David Copperfield's allegedly meticulous rape technique is unfathomably creepy. You don't trust magicians, people. [DListed]

• The Hills is soooooooooo fake. Stop watching it. [PITNB]

• Dick in a bag? [PS]

• It's not hot when she's been more naked on the job. That's a fact. [HT]

• Johnny Depp's a painter, also. Swoon, ladies. [ICYDK]

• Wait, did rehab actually work? Rehab never works. [INO]

• Grandmother Spears: "If they're boycotting your album, sweetie, they're not your real friends." [Yeeeah]

• Seriously, is everyone sure she didn't fall and hit her face? [CityRag]

A woman from Seattle is claiming that deposed King of Magic David Copperfield raped her when she was in the Bahamas. In his defense, Copperfield alleges that the consent was there, just invisible.

[Source]