Jesse L Martin, aka Detective Ed Green, last night appeared in his final episode of Law & Order, the gradually worsening drama in which he starred for nine wonderful seasons. His swan song revealed that the famously squeaky-clean Green had a secret history of violence and gambling addiction, and the narrative was pretty good until the kind-of-corny deus ex machina spoiled the ending. Since so many of you weirdos tape television now, we won't tell you what happens, but do give it a look.