Ouch. Another major mistake took place in front of a global audience yesterday evening, but this one isn't as funny as accidentally calling John McCain "that depthless prick currently in the Oval Office." (Accidentally!)

The Bloomberg financial newswire updated and then unintentionally published its pre-written obituary for Apple CEO Steve Jobs. Jobs has battled pancreatic cancer for years now, but he's not dead yet. (In fact, as we speak he's probably inventing some new gadget people will rush out to buy only to have it immediately shatter in their hands.) Bloomberg soon realized its mistake, took down the obit and issued a retraction.

Investors were shitting themselves, of course; not because they were worried about Jobs, mind you, but because they were concerned by what his death meant for their glorious, glorious gobs of money. We hope Jobs realizes this, gets legitimately pissed and screws over all those bastards royally before leaving this increasingly dusty planet.

Hey, Batman crazies, couldja find it in your fanboy hearts to stop loving this movie so much. At least not to the point in which you threaten the lives of film critics who review it negatively?

Critics who refused to swallow the red pill have been treated as enemy combatants. About.com's Jürgen Fauth and The House Next Door's Keith Uhlich … are two such critics. Neither of their reviews was intended to provoke, nor were they playing the contrarian — they simply didn't like the film. As of this writing there are 938 comments in response to these reviews. (Both at their sites as well as their links on Rotten Tomatoes.) Some go no deeper than Fag!; some are actually amusing - Keep your head in Little Women and Suffrage texts you pansy, but others are downright ugly. On Rotten Tomatoes, someone felt it would be beneficial to post as many personal details about Jürgen that they could find, while another likened his crime to Joan of Arc's:

This guy is a terd [sic], let him rot. Lets [sic] burn him at the stake!

The comments left for Keith are even more vile, particularly this one, which the author later claimed was written while channeling his inner Joker. Yikes. (All [sic]):

You know, some people have been so enraged by your little opinion piece that they want you to kill yourself. Please DON'T!!! You know why, because I am going to have so much fun killing you myself! I promise, it WON'T be painless. I am going to carve a smile in your face. And then I am going to carve you stomach. And you know why? Because i just want my phone call. You're my bitch now! I am going to track you down through your IP address and then I am going to f@#%!%* kill you!!!