According to media research firm Magna Global, the median age of television viewers is now 50-years-old, older than ever before and one year outside the all-important 18-49 demographic. Of the top five networks (ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox and CW) CBS's viewership is the most crotchety, with a median age of 54. By contrast, the CW – home of Gossip Girl – has a fan base with a median age 20 years less than that.

Why are couch potatoes graying? Because the olds don't know how to "googlize" things, nor do they get what those darn "virus videos" are all about.

"The median ages of the broadcast networks keep rising, as traditional television is no longer necessarily the first screen for the younger set," [a spokesperson for Magna Global] wrote.

The absolute oldest viewership of all ad-supported cable networks is that of Fox News' daytime and prime time lineup. Presumably that's also the viewership most likely to be "sick of all your lip" and racist.