• John Mayer swears Jessica Simpson "loves Texas more than you know," which is an important endorsement…more than you know. [Jossip]

• Eddie Murphy already scared away another one. [DListed]

• Probably not pregnant because she's going out for sushi. If pregnant: shame! [INO]

• Tara Reid! Guess what sort of state she's in. [HT]

• Britney Spears is suing a photographer, meaning she still has lawyers working for her. Three years of law school and hundreds of thousands of dollars for that. Good decision, counselor. [ICYDK]

• Gwyneth might be preggeth. [Yeeeah]

• Robert De Niro's hotel will charge you $625 per night, but $500 will get you enough cocaine to make friends with someone from the Village with a foldout couch. Make the right decision. [CityRag]

While condoms are seeing a boom time in other parts of the world, it would seem that their North American sales have significantly decreased:

…Canadian singer, Avril Lavigne is pregnant…Avril is a month and a half pregnant and…her husband, Deryck Whibley, has been telling all his friends that he's excited to be a father…

[Source]

['Lil Jon] was deejaying a countdown party at Prive, where [Avril] Lavigne was slated to call the countdown. But before the stroke of midnight, onlookers saw 'Lil Jon "grab his own mike and steal the show" from Lavigne by "holding his own coundown." The pop princess was said to be "visibly upset" and clung to her hubby Deryck Whibley, crying "I wanted to do the countdown!" Only when servers brought out Dom Perignon did she calm down.

[Source]

• Nicole Richie is the saddest girl to ever wear a white satin party dress. [Hollywood Rag]

• What has long legs, a beak, and shows off its tailfeather? Paris Hilton, Shamlessae Hussius. [Gallery of the Absurd]

• At least she's sexier than Rod Stewart, right? Right? [DListed]

• Keira Knightly's scowl might give me nightmares tonight. [Teddy and Moo]

• Surprise, surprise, Lance Bass has been acting totally gay for years. [BWE]

• Do you wish that you were on Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley's honeymoon with them? Well, thanks to the wonder of paparazzi, you can feel like you are. [Celebitchy]

• Despite teaming with Reebok, Scarlett Johansson's idea of working out is walking to get pizza, and thanking God for being naturally smoking hot. [OAN]

Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley tied the proverbial knot yesterday in Santa Barbara, California. Thrilling, I know. US Weekly has the decidedly un-rock star details:

”Avril looked beautiful! Her hair was very bright blonde. Her dress was simple, but elegant,” a witness tells Us. After the groom kissed the bride, guests flung rose petals on the newlyweds as they traipsed up the aisle.

“Attendees cheered with excitement, and were so stoked for the newlyweds,” says the witness.

Lavigne, 21, wore a Vera Wang custom-made ivory strapless tissue organza gown with wrapped bodice and appliqué lace beaded skirt. After the ceremony, the bride changed into a Vera Wang ivory strapless draped Chantilly lace gown. Lavigne’s bridesmaids wore Vera Wang draped petal pink crepe chiffon gowns. Whibley and his five groomsmen wore tuxes from the Hugo collection by Hugo Boss.

The wedding, coordinated by wedding planner to the stars Mindy Weiss, was outfitted with hundreds of white roses. The expansive pink Spanish villa featured a large pond complete with white swans. There were a little over 100 guests in attendance, mostly close friends and family (no celebrities).

The happy couple's wedding song was "Iris" which is the most press the Goo Goo Dolls have gotten in years. As a special treat, here is Avril singing "Iris" with GGD. So listen, close your eyes, and picture the barely pubescent newlyweds.
[Source]