For all five of you who stopped watching Sarah Palin destroy our country long enough to catch the season finale of Making the Band, let's discuss. Diddy kicked out both Aubrey O'Day and D. Woods, leaving only three sad members (Aundrea, Dawn and Shannon) who looked like someone shot their puppy.
Your reality TV-loving associate editor, Whitney, attended the live taping and got some inside scoop on exactly what went down in Diddy Land (unfortunately, Puff Diddles was too busy cavorting in his Miami hotel room to join the rest of his minions at the MTV studios). Spoiler alert: There was more bitchassness than should be allowed. CONTINUED »
BLIND ITEMING "Which politically active rapper makes a big show with the ladies in public, bragging about what a pimp he is, but has a thing for small Asian dudes on the side?"
[Source]
Diddy, the master of delusion, has come out from hiding under his bed to discuss his hero and imaginary friend (we kid you not): Frank Sinatra. We'll just let Diddy explain, because there's no way we can describe this without sounding crazy.
There's nights in Vegas when I have my Frankie baby with me. That's right, Frank Sinatra is with me. Call me crazy. I'm not afraid to say I have imaginary friends. And Frank is one of them.
I love showing people a good time, throwing parties and seeing people have fun. That's me. And Frank was the same. He loved entertaining.
Wow, what a coincidence! It's truly a miracle to find two people who both love having a good time. This is wild. And to further explain how he and the classy Sinatra are similar, he described the scene at his latest commercial shoot: "Somebody got naked and got into the pool. Actually two people did. And one of them was me."
Stay classy, Diddy.
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "Wanna know why I have on a hood today? Why I'm so theatrical? Because your photo shoot was theatrical — at the awards ceremony for the Fiercees. So for this judging I decided to be Little Black Riding Hood." — Tyra, America's Next Top Model
Can someone please take the camera away from Diddy? The obnoxious mouth-breather took to the Internets again last night in hopes of encouraging all the "boys and girls" to vote for Barack Obama after John McCain referred to him as "that one" during the latest debate. Does Diddy have a right to be angry about this? Sure. But the way he refers to his viewers as "boys and girls" reminds us of John McCain's usage of "my friends": Both send us into fits of blind rage.
And, once again, we'd like to point out that Diddy's endorsement of Obama is much like Aubrey O'Day's or Lindsay Lohan's: It's not needed. In fact, it's probably doing more harm than good.
While Danity Kane's Aubrey O'Day was parading her sad dog last at the Bowlmor event ("I Bark 4 Obama"? Seriously?), the pre-season finale of Making the Band 4 was airing — and it wasn't pretty. Evidently Diddy got his diddles in a wad and decided to kick Aubrey out of Danity Kane. The entire exchange was confusing, because once Diddy said, "Somebody's gonna tell the troof up in this bitch," we tuned out. We just can't take him seriously when he breaths through his mouth and spouts of nonsense.
Here's what we gathered: The girls don't get along — mainly because Aubrey is a psycho famewhore and Dawn is getting solo projects with Diddy — so the group is about to undergo major changes. Who knows if Aubrey leaves for good, but it's not like she doesn't have thousands of red carpets to infest if she gets dropped. Let's just hope she doesn't take it out on the dog any more than she already has.
Click through for a clip from last night's blowup.
Damnit, Diddy! Why did you have to open your mouth again and post a stupid YouTube video about how much Sarah Palin scares you? You almost — almost — forced us to agree with you for once, until you busted out that odd heavy panting and hiding under the covers bit. This isn't the Blair Witch Hunt, Puff. And you probably just won McCain a few new votes out of spite.
Just … stop. Please.
• Jessica Simpson continues to make weird faces while she sings. [HT]
• Diddy steps in dog poop. There is a Xenu! [DListed]
• Nobody calls John Mayer anymore, poor thing. [PS]
• Oprah filmed a guest stint on 30 Rock. If she's not giving away free stuff, we don't care. [INO]
• Alex Rodriguez and his ex-wife amicably settled their divorce case. Well, that was boring. [ICYDK]
• Pamela Anderson is the queen of aging gracefully. [Yeeeah]
[Source]
Diddy really needs to lay off the YouTube, because he's stopped making any sense and is now completely making an ass out of himself. … OK, you're right. This is par for the course. But this time Diddles is really obnoxious, claiming that he does indeed own a private jet but "only the wing," and it's listed under the name Ciroc Obama (the first name coming from the vodka he endorses). He also calls this whole misunderstanding "a controversy" that stemmed from his "famous blog that was reported all over the world" about the high gas prices. At this point, he's far too delusional.
Remember a couple weeks ago when Diddy made his heartfelt plea for oil so he could stop flying commercial? Turns out the private jet of which he spoke so fondly isn't exactly his.
An extensive look through federal aviation records by the Palm Beach Post turned up no Seans, Diddys, Combs, or Puffys as the registered owner. One source said, 'I have a list of every plane with the name of the owner, and he's not on it.'
For the record, says his rep, he's got a 'fractional' ownership in a plane on NetJets, where you buy flight hours.
This makes him an even bigger tool than previously thought. First off, you're a jerk for posting a video whining about having to travel commercial when most Americans can't even afford to fly at all; now that it turns out you were embellishing the truth about your private jet, that just makes you a delusional liar who's desperately trying to fit in with your richer friends.
[Source]
Diddy Decides: McCain "Bugging The Fuck Out" Picking Palin
This is not good, you guys: Gas prices are so high that Diddy can't afford to fuel his private jet — and he's forced to fly commercial. Take a moment, sit down, wipe the tears from your eyes. We have word that Diddy is still alive and staying strong, even under these dreadful circumstances. To add insult to injury, he even has to fly coach! Except in the video it's pretty obvious he plops down in a first-class seat. Liar.
Here's Diddy's plea: "I wanna give a shoutout to all my Saudi Arabian brothers and sisters and all my brothers and sisters from, um … all the countries that have oil. If y'all could please send me some oil for my jet I would truly appreciate it." We have a feeling Saudi Arabia has bigger issues to worry about, but we'll see what happens.
COP PULLS GUN ON DIDDY ET AL "A cop pulled a gun on rap mogul Sean (Diddy) Combs during a routine traffic stop in Los Angeles, authorities said Sunday. A Los Angeles County sheriff's deputy briefly brandished his weapon at Combs on the Sunset Strip after cops pulled over a car driven by a member of his entourage. 'A deputy pulled his firearm, fearing for his safety,' said a sheriff's department spokesman. 'The situation was deflated as quickly as it began.' Combs spokeswoman Keesha Johnson said the cop did not pull the gun directly on the rapper, and stressed that the officers were 'really respectful.'"
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "And some of you are still sewing? Question mark?" — Tim Gunn, Project Runway
• For those who spend a lot of time checking out Kim Kardashian's assets. [CityRag]
• Did Jennifer Aniston get her lips pumped? Does anyone care? [INO]
• Diddy thinks sex should be an Olympic sport. Naturally. [DListed]
• Jessica Simpson says she was bullied in high school — but only because people were jealous of how perfect she is. [ICYDK]
• James Franco says he hasn't done drugs since high school. [PS]
• Paris Hilton is being sued for failing to promote National Lampoon’s Pledge This!, not that she would have convinced anyone to actually watch that horrible movie. [Yeeeah]
Someone came close to shooting Diddy over the weekend, threatening our access to his enlightening YouTube videos and 15 more seasons of Making the Band.
Diddles was at an Atlanta club attending a Jermaine Dupri-hosted party along with Nelly, Usher and Gabrielle Union. A gunman opened fire inside the bar after allegedly being charged twice for admission. One security guard was struck in the arm, but no other guests were injured.
Fortunately, Jermaine hasn't lost the true meaning of all this:
Dupri has vowed to continue partying after a security guard was hit at the party, insisting the incident won't prevent him from partying in the future.
[Source]
BAD NEWS, LADIES "Sean 'Diddy' Combs is giving marriage a chance. The bachelor father of six is quietly telling close friends and family that he and singer Cassandra 'Cassie' Ventura are heading to the chapel."
• Diddy takes to YouTube to announce his discovery that he has 10 fingers and 10 toes. [DListed]
• Rumor has it someone secretly filmed Madonna and A-Rod having sex. Too bad that person won't be able to enjoy all that money he's going to receive from behind bars. [INO]
• The paparazzi are still chasing around Ashley Dupre for reasons unknown. [HT]
• Why Drew Barrymore and Justin Long split: "Justin gently suggested to Drew that they both slow down on the drinking, and she didn’t take it well. Drew believes she has control over her drinking." We've heard that one before. [Yeeeah]
• Pictures of Brad and Angelina cuddling on a hospital roof — except they're so blurry it could be some random hobos off the street, for all we know. [PS]
• Lindsay Lohan's new line of leggings is already sold out? Really? Really? [ICYDK]
Editor
