Britney Spears debuted her new music video for "Womanizer" on 20/20, and it was everything the BS Crazies could have ever wanted. She manages to make it through a few minutes without shaving her head, but it's still not exactly a cinematic masterpiece. Her new trick — driving with one foot steering the wheel — is quite impressive, however.

On a shallow note: Her body, while never obese or anything of that nature, looks amazing. Who knows if that's the magic of editing or dieting.

• Aubrey O'Day's dog was probably better off at the shelter. [DListed]

• Good news! Hollywood has come up with yet another unhealthy way to lose weight. [INO]

• Photos of Heather Locklear's arrest. She still looks crazy. [CityRag]

• Amy Winehouse went crazy and attacked some people. So basically, a typical weekend. [Yeeeah]

• Dennis Quaid is disgusted with Meg Ryan and her need for attention. [ICYDK]

• Katie Holmes has lost all of her attractiveness — now she's just plan scary. How sad. [PS]

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I had admittedly been counting down the days until The Office premiered its fifth season, and last night's hour-long episode was certainly worth the wait. I don't want to give too much away for those who have yet to see the show, so I've listed my favorite moments after the jump — and you can add your own.

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• Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox holding hands. Who didn't see that coming? [PS]

• Eva Mendes has had sex in all 50 states. Yay, America! [Yeeeah]

• Anne Hathaway secretly smokes, according to a random source. Wow, HUGE scandal. [INO]

• A lovely definition of The Shocker. [CityRag]

• Gwyneth Paltrow insists she can't diet, and it was really challenging to lose the extra 20 pregnancy pounds. Poor thing. [DListed]

• Lance Bass is considering adoption. What a lucky child. [ICYDK]

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Kelly LeBrock, who quickened the pulse of every young man born in the 80s with her half-shirted turn in Weird Science, has vowed to stop dieting. Though LeBrock lost 31 pounds last year on VH1's Celebrity Fit Club, the growing ex-model says she's fine with her recent weight gain, and worrying about her frame is no longer her bag:

“I’m not fat!” Kelly declared. “I don’t look like a 400-pound heifer! I’m going to keep eating. I eat normally. And I’ve had three kids.

Three kids?!?! No wonder she's huge. We can't even get through a whole toddler without feeling ill.

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The completely comparable WASP Gwyneth Paltrow has been hospitalized, Us reports! Her condition and symptoms remain uncertain, but an eyewitness reported seeing her "slumped over in a wheelchair pushed by [husband] Chris Martin."

New York magazine presumes her illness is a consequence of her restrictive diet, a leafy mix of raw and organic salads and juices. Organic Avenue, the purveyor of the healthier-than-thou goods seen being taken to Paltrow's hospital room, thinks that is poppycock: "Oh, no…There's actually quite a bit of food there, it's just all raw and organic." Mmmmm, anemia.

[Source]