The very greedy and careless maniacs at Disney have announced that they will begin offering young girls Hannah Montana makeovers in their Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique in downtown Disney World.

Now, any of America's daughters tired of their ugly dark mops and dead-end jobs as third-graders can just go to Orlando. For the low price of $109.95 (plus tax), Disney's beauty school dropouts will briefly give the delicate, impressionable babes the feeling of being a rich pop star with straight blond hair.

Start saving now for your child's trip, and remember to set up a second account for all the therapy she's going to need.