Like every emo kid that came before him, Pete Wentz thinks his son's name, Bronx Mowgli, is above everyone else's comprehension:
'I feel weird — people have all these ideas of what it means now,' Wentz says of his offspring's name during a phone call today to E! News' Ryan Seacrest. 'I think it's kind of cool to leave the narrative the way it is. People are stoked or pissed or whatever … I don't think anybody knows the real story of why or how.'
'We came up with the idea Bronx, we'd been throwing it back and forth a while ago,' he says. As for the origin of the middle name? 'The Jungle Book is something me and Ashlee bonded over. It's really cool.'
Trust us, Pete, you're not nearly as ground-breaking or cool as you'd like to think you are.
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Do you ever sit around wondering to yourself what American Idol finalist David Archuleta is up to these days? No? Well, it's a slow news day over here, so we were more entertained than we should have been by this clip of Kathy Griffin interviewing the Disney-fied Idol and making him awkwardly uncomfortable. The verdict: He's still as annoyingly perfect as he was during the last season of the reality competition. Someone get back to us when the kid's gone through puberty and is checking into rehab.
Hopefully none of our readers have heard of The Cheetah Girls, one of those cheesy-but-not-in-a-good-way Disney movies that never quite reached the same success as High School Musical. One of said Cheetah Girls, Adrienne Bailon, went on bigger and "better" things: She's dating Kim Kardashian's younger brother, Rob. And now it seems she's been getting famewhore advice from her likely future sister-in-law.
You see, Adrienne took some ill-advised nude pictures of herself to send to Rob for an anniversary (how romantic!). Instead of immediately deleting the photos (or refraining from snapping them in the first place), Adrienne left them on her computer, which was later stolen at a New York airport, and then someone leaked the photos. Of course. Adrienne soon released a statement apologizing to her fans, which is only shocking because we weren't aware she had any in the first place.
This has "Kim" written all over it, no?
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After 80 years of selling garbage adorned with the characters of a viciously anti-Semitic cartoonist, the Walt Disney Company has arrived at a conclusion: sticky kids and country folk in Donald Duck t-shirts don't have lots of money for the taking, elitists do. And elitists don't like their overpriced, useless crap to be covered with Goofys. Move over, Vera Wang, and say hello to Disney Couture!
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JONAS BROS JUMP THE GASSY DOG "Another hot Disney Channel act is poised to make a bigscreen splash — at 20th Century Fox. Fox has locked the Jonas Brothers to make their feature starring debut in 'Walter the Farting Dog.' Based on a bestselling series of books by William Kotzwinkle and Glenn Murray, the film is being adapted by Alec Sokolow and Joel Cohen into a family film that will revolve around Nick, Joe and Kevin Jonas, as well as their younger brother Frankie. … The title character in the 'Walter' books is a fat dog with severe flatulence. The brothers play musicians whose parents are asked to care for the dog by an aunt just before she passes away."
Raven Symone, a Cosby Show alum and former Disney star (before Miley Cyrus came along), is evidently a paparazzi target. Why any publications would want to run pictures of Raven is beyond us — this girl typically keeps to herself and doesn't do anything scandalous or exciting. Until now.
See, Raven has some sort of issue with her eyebrows. They don't look like typical eyebrows, so she normally has to fill them in. One day she got lazy and didn't take the time to do that (understandable), and the paparazzi snapped away, which led to people making fun of her eyebrows and weight issues. Up until this point we're on Raven's side — but then she had to take to her MySpace, of all places, and give us a Kanye-esque caps lock tirade of epic proportions. There's lots of exclamation points and typos, just to keep it real.
We thought about breaking it up into multiple paragraphs for your reading pleasure, but this is the way Raven intended to write her rant, so we must respect her wishes. Good luck reading the block of anger (after the jump). CONTINUED »
Miley Cyrus shut down Disneyland Sunday in celebration of her 16th birthday … which is on Nov. 23. Why she wanted to celebrate seven weeks early is beyond us, but the teenager has more money than any of us will see in our lifetimes, so who are we to argue with her logic? The party featured a performance by father Billy Ray Cyrus and four songs from Miley. This sounds awful.
Guests in attendance included Miley's 20-year-old boyfriend Justin Gaston, David Archuleta, Steve Carell, Jennie Garth, Cindy Crawford and Jennifer Love Hewitt. We just lost a bunch of respect for JLH, because the other celebs have children — what was her excuse? Tyra Banks was also reportedly at the shindig but wasn't photographed. Um, what? Is Ty Ty OK? We don't believe this for a second. Why would she show up to a 16-year-old's birthday party if there wasn't a photo op in it for her?
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The intolerable Cyrus family has been relatively quiet over the past few days, but that doesn't mean the famewhores haven't been busy: Sources say that Miley and father Billy Ray are desperately trying to get fired from their Hannah Montana gigs because the deluded idiots think they no longer need the Disney show. Naturally, it all boils down to money: Billy Ray believes "there is more money in singing than a Disney cable show," so he and his daughter have been showing up late to work, stalling production and causing drama among the cast and crew. Not surprising.
Miley is predictably enjoying all of the attention — which has been scarce since her ex-boyfriend Nick Jonas started dating another (arguably better) Disney tween star — and she issued the following statement:
I am fully committed to Hannah Montana. It's what gave me this amazing opportunity to reach out to so many people. I couldn't do it alone. We have an amazing cast that is so supportive, including my dad who has been there for me every step of the way.
Hey, Disney? Keep the Cyrus twits in that contract as long as possible, just to make them suffer. Thanks.
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You have to hand it to Lindsay Lohan: The girl is persistent. After sending a text to Debbie Phelps in which she claimed Michael was "f–king amazing," LiLo attempted to appear with him onstage at the MTV VMAs. (Um, hello? Samantha Ronson?) There was one small problem: Disney brat Miley Cyrus also wanted in on the Phelps love, according to a source who introduced a new vocabulary word.
It was nightmate. Both Lindsay and Miley were wildly excited at the prospect of waltzing on-stage with Michael, so producers proposed draping one on each arm — but the girls did not want to be with each other and neither would back down!
It was nightmate?! Wow, this is worse than we thought. Of course, as we all saw, Michael did his bit alone, sans any annoying starlets. Nightmate averted.
For the last few idiots left who look to Lynne Spears for parenting advice, consider this: The woman just leaked some of the "shocking" revelations from her new tell-all disguised as a celebrity parenting how-to in an effort to garner some publicity. The revelations include stories about Britney's sex life and drug and alcohol abuse, which would be surprising if the wise Road Kill Willie hadn't already spilled the beans.
Apparently Lynne claims that Britney began drinking alcohol at the age of 13, when she joined the Mickey Mouse Club. By 14, she had lost her virginity to an 18-year-old football player from her hometown, and by 15 she was taking drugs. Lynne details "the horror when Britney, just 16, was caught with cocaine and cannabis on a private jet." While Brit was the same age, Lynne allowed her to sleep with then-boyfriend Justin Timberlake because "Lynne thought Britney was in love and Justin was good for her."
So lessons learned? Lynne says she "regrets handing over control of Britney’s career to managers and allowing her daughter to be promoted as a sex object in raunchy videos at such a young age," which is basically saying, "I'm sorry those other people screwed up." Sounds like Mother of the Year to us.
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• Another adorable animal bites the dust. Life isn't fair. [DListed]
• Demi Lovato, one of the newest little Disney stars, fell on stage during a performance. The good news is people are going to know her name for a couple days. [Yeeeah]
• The Hills' Whitney Port and her new boyfriend need to work on coordinating their outfits a little more successfully. [INO]
• All these photos of Britney Spears shopping in LA remind us of the Sam Lutfi days, and those aren't good memories. [PS]
• Aubrey O'Day is offended that people compare her to Paris Hilton. Paris agrees. [ICYDK]
• Hayden Panettiere shouldn't look this weird in a bikini. [HT]
I don't watch Dancing With the Stars but it's looking like I'll have to this season, thanks to the participation of my former boyfriend, Lance Bass. The official cast was announced today, and it also includes Kim Kardashian, Jeffrey Ross, Cloris Leachman and Susan Lucci.
But enough about the D-listers: Lance has officially been on America's radar for 10 years thanks to *NSYNC's July 1998 Disney special. At right is a clip from the show that made me fall in love. Who knew 10 years later Justin would date and dump Britney Spears, Joey would appear on DWTS and host a karaoke show, JC would judge some dance crew competition, and Chris would completely fall off the planet. Congrats, Lance: You're following the path of all great boy band has-beens.
WHY? BECAUSE THEIR LAWYERS WERE GREEDIER THAN THEY WERE TALENTED "He is the world's most famous personality, better known in this country than anyone living or dead, real or fictional. Market researchers say his 97% recognition rate in the U.S. edges out even Santa Claus. He is the one — and, for now, only — Mickey Mouse. … Acts of Congress have extended Mickey's copyright so long that they provoked a Supreme Court challenge, making Mickey the ultimate symbol of intellectual property … at least until a grumpy former employee looked closely at fine print long forgotten in company archives. Film credits from the 1920s revealed imprecision in copyright claims that some experts say could invalidate Disney's long-held copyright, though a Disney lawyer dismissed that idea as 'frivolous.' … the unexpected discovery raises an intriguing question: Is it possible that Mickey Mouse now belongs to the world — and that his likeness is usable by anybody for anything?"
A new report is hinting that one of the Jonas Brothers is gay and is planning to come out in the near future (yeah, right). "Sources fear they may lose their core audience and their lucrative contract with Disney when the truth comes out," but hopefully Lance Bass proved otherwise.
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DISNEY TO BEGIN PIMPING BELOVED TINKER BELL "Long one of the studio's most popular classic characters, but one always consigned to flitting in the background, Tinker Bell is being recast by Walt Disney Co. in the hope of launching a new billion-dollar Fairies franchise aimed at young girls. … It begins, as do many Disney launches, with a movie: The spunky sprite will star in her own film, 'Tinker Bell,' due out on DVD on Oct. 28. … 'I think Fairies has the potential to be as big as Princesses,' said Andrew P. Mooney, chairman of Disney Consumer Products."
Disney brat Miley Cyrus was asked about her latest controversy involving YouTube and the most childish behavior we've seen from her thus far. After publicly making fun of fellow network stars Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato, Miley backtracked:
I mean, if we offended them we're super sorry. … They were being funny, and you know that's our thing is to be funny. So they were being funny on their show and everyone, you know, Elvis says imitation is the greatest form of flattery, so we were, like, imitating them, you know, like, being funny.
You say imitating, we say mocking. Tomato, tomahto.
Miley Cyrus' Good Morning America performance today in Bryant Park further cemented the theory that she is a miniature Britney Spears in the making. The choreographed dance moves, the giggly interviews — she's a pro at the ripe age of 15, which means she's due for a rehab stint within the next three years.
CHAIRMAN MAOSE "Entertainment giant Walt Disney on Monday said it had not yet reached an agreement with the Chinese government to build its first mainland China theme park in Shanghai. A spokeswoman was responding to questions about a report that it was expected to open a 10-square-kilometre (6.2-square-mile) site near Shanghai's Pudong airport as early as 2012. 'We have a continuing dialogue with the government about all aspects of our business, including theme parks, but there is no announcement and no deal,' Disney spokeswoman Alannah Hall-Smith said."
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