These celebrity-Muppet comparisons are like every Muppet movie after Muppets Take Manhattan: Often they don't work, but when they do, they're hilarious

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• I don't know who's luckier: Will Smith or David Letterman? [Celebitchy]

• Jessica Alba's new baby glow hasn't made her any less of a Debbie Downer. [PS]

• After years of putting up with Denise Richards, Heather Locklear has entered a treatment facility to assist with psychological issues. It's about time. [DListed]

• DMX was arrested for the third time in two months. Don Imus, care to comment? [ICYDK]

• Chris Brown's mother confirms Hollywood's worst kept secret. [INO]

BACKTRACKING "On his radio show this morning, [Don Imus] said he was just trying to 'make a sarcastic point' when he asked yesterday, about arrest-happy NFL player Pacman Jones, 'What color is he?' As Imus tried to explain, 'What people should be outraged about is that they arrest blacks for no reason. I mean, there's no reason to arrest this kid six times.'"

If there was one person who could attempt to trump NBC Sports’ lead golf analyst Johnny Miller's anti-Italian remarks against Rocco Mediate, it’s none other than America’s Favorite Racist Don Imus. On this morning’s show, Imus & Co. were discussing suspended Dallas Cowboys cornerback Adam “Pacman” Jones, who wants to drop his nickname. During the segment, one of his cohorts (perhaps Warner Wolfe?) tells Imus that Jones has “been arrested six times since being drafted by Tennessee in 2005.” Asks Imus: “What color is he?” Response: “He’s African-American.” You know where this is going.

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Barbara Walters is out of the fame game.

The aged tearjerker says she is no longer interested in conducting the schmaltzy celebrity interviews that have largely shaped her career. "I am not going after the tabloid stuff, I don’t do it," she recently said in an interview.

Last night on ABC, the newer, more thoughtful Walters interviewed Posh Spice and race-baiter Don Imus. Cerebral!

Ho-monger Don Imus is back. Following a wrongful termination lawsuit that saw him receive a payout of $20 million from his former employers at CBS Radio, Imus is now in talks with the company that owns ABC Radio.

So, racism isn't that bad. The Jena Six could have used that lesson a while ago.

After a recent meal with fellow dumb person Al Sharpton at Sylvia's, a legendary Harlem eatery, Bill O'Reilly took to his radio program to extol the surprisingly civilized behavior of America's Negroes:

…O’Reilly reported that he “had a great time, and all the people up there are tremendously respectful,” adding: “I couldn’t get over the fact that there was no difference between Sylvia’s restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City. I mean, it was exactly the same, even though it’s run by blacks, primarily black patronship.”

Later, during a discussion with National Public Radio senior correspondent and Fox News contributor Juan Williams about the effect of rap on culture, O’Reilly asserted: “There wasn’t one person in Sylvia’s who was screaming, ‘M-Fer, I want more iced tea.’ You know, I mean, everybody was — it was like going into an Italian restaurant in an all-white suburb in the sense of people were sitting there, and they were ordering and having fun. And there wasn’t any kind of craziness at all.”

The King's English from dark lips in Harlem? Slum-raised Africans "sitting…ordering and having fun," just as suburban Italians would? Perhaps you can take the jungle out of the beast. How much for three of them?

PS I sure hope O'Reilly's dinner date gets as outraged about this as he did about Imus.

[Source]