Barron Trump, with his supermodel mother and supertool father, attended the 17th annual Bunny Hop in NYC. Where's his combover? What about the awkward pursed lips stare? That kid is going to shame the family.
[Source]
SCROOGED "Donald Trump…didn't tip a Santa Monica waiter $10,000 on Monday. The tycoon says he wasn't even in California…'This was done by the stupid restaurant to get publicity,' he said. '…It's not my signature.'" You may now go back to hating him unconditionally.
• Ha! [YouTube]
• Donald Trump leaves a $10,000 tip! "A buck for every pound of lard in Rosie's fat ass," he's heard to proclaim. [DListed]
•l Punk'd! [PS]
• Despite the rumors, after seeing these pictures we wager the implants have not been removed. [HT]
• With Harry Potter over and your 18th birthday approaching, get ready for the real sharks, young thing. [INO]
• Hollywood blackmail! [ICYDK]
• Maybe lots of surgery will solve life's woes. Worth a shot if one's a sad maniac, right? [Yeeeah]
• Welp, then there's this. [CityRag]
Contrary to early speculation, Paris Hilton will not be a participant in Donald Trump's newest foray into prime time mediocrity, Celebrity Apprentice. Contrary to good taste, the show will go on. Beyond the jump, the participants.
CONTINUED »
Author, rich kid and all around bad person Donald Trump felt it necessary to stammer out this blind opinion about Angelina Jolie's physical attractiveness:
"Angelina Jolie is sort of amazing because everyone thinks she's like this great beauty. And I'm not saying she's an unattractive woman, but she's not beauty, by any stretch of the imagination. I really understand beauty. And I will tell you, she's not — I do own Miss Universe. I do own Miss USA. I mean I own a lot of different things. I do understand beauty, and she's not."
If you've ever looked – to no avail – for a saying that is indicative of every single thing that has gone wrong in the world, you've finally found it.
Iraq: "I mean I own a lot of different things. I do understand beauty, and she's not."
Racism: "I mean I own a lot of different things. I do understand beauty, and she's not."
School Shootings: "I mean I own a lot of different things. I do understand beauty, and she's not."
You get the idea.
In an effort to bolster the ever-assailed decorum of the Internet, Mollygood looks to poetry with Someone Haiku. Each day—using 17 syllables or less—you’re given the opportunity to wax poetic about some piece of flotsam or jetsam that’s washed up on the shores of Mollygood. Hopefully this Zen practice will not only bathe you in self-discovery, but also bring a touch of Eastern class to a global network of information that’s devolved into nothing more than tit websites and provocative MySpace pictures.
Today's Someone Haiku winner is eeks:
Thank God for that “r” -
“Crocker” does not need any
encouragement, geeze!
While that one was well done, had the syllable count been correct, iwishiwasbadass could have been the clear victor.
New one under here.
CONTINUED »
Trump Vodka trumped Grey Goose in recent reviews in the Spirit Journal, the bible of the booze business. Trump's hooch received four out of five stars because it "finishes elegantly, oily/creamy, and snack cracker like." Grey Goose, which 10 years ago also received four stars, has now been downgraded to just two.
So expect to see a new brand in the hands of all the conspicuous half-wits with gelled hair who demand bottle service every time they go out. If you see that "T," you'll know to avoid that guy.
[Source]
Page Six is reporting that Rosie O'Donnell will use her new book, Celebrity Detox, to be released October 2, to once again berate Donald Trump, rekindling a months-old feud nobody ever started caring about.
O'Donnell writes about the Tara Connor scandal - in which Miss USA was caught drinking underage and tested positive for cocaine but was allowed to enter rehab and retain her title - "It is Trump's falseness that angers me more than anything . . . I spoke my mind. People found it funny.
"I honestly did not anticipate the malice of his response . . . I assumed Donald believed he had money. I did not assume Donald believed he was money. But apparently he does . . . The stuffing of his self spilled out - think of a torn scarecrow, only instead of hay, it's crisp $100 bills blowing through the cornfields."
Trump reminded O'Donnell of "garden slugs . . . I could write one small comment on my blog, and Donald would predictably distend, flowing forth with a torrent of insults . . . Then he'd appear on some talk show looking wrinkled, old and empty, with a Jell-O orange combover.
Expect a calm, dignified and mature response from Trump; one that's indicative of his age and success.
[Source]
With his new reality show, Celebrity Apprentice, in the midst of signing on contestants, and with his feud with Rosie O'Donnell cooled, Donald Trump is looking to both cast and offend Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan.
"We're negotiating with Britney right now. Can you imagine her doing it?" Trump told Page Six. "We're not sure what will happen. She's a fucking mess. And that little reality show she had did nothing. But she likes the idea of being on television and I think she'd be great." Hilton, he adds, "wants to be on, and we're thinking about it, but I don't know if we're going to do it."
And Lohan? "Another fucking mess. We haven't asked her yet, but I'm going to call her this week. It would a positive thing for her to do . . . for all of them," he says.
Hilton's spokesman, Mike Sitrick, said he wasn't aware of any deal but acknowledged that Trump and Paris's father, Rick Hilton, are friends.
So if Trump is War and Hilton is Famine, who's Pestilence and who's Death?
• I'm going to wager this woman's not married. [BWE]
• Crimes of fashion. [DListed]
• That one college dropout is now a slightly less powerful dick. [NYT]
• Does this woman have a bikini trench coat? [DS]
• Heather Graham's attractive, but still usually unemployed. [HT]
• Better bra! [CityRag]
• Isla Fisher says her Australian roots make her unworthy. Aboriginals go, "Uhhhhhh…" [ICYDK]
• Trump takes aim… [Yeeeah]
• Feast your eyes on the world's first drag man! [DListed]
• "You see your gypsy!" [DS]
• This girl's back and as ho-hum as ever. [HT]
• Ryan Reynolds says he has bad "gaydar." But unless you're gay, who cares? [ICYDK]
• Stars actually aren't just like us; I'd have wriggled out of jury duty. [Yeeeah]
• Trump's accused of having a mullet. His response: "A very rich mullet, fat ass." [CityRag]
• Thanks for this one, Times. It's alienating and impertinent. Perfect. [NYT]
Ivanka Trump is really beautiful, but her father's such a shitty pain in the ass it makes the idea of having her by your side seem completely unappealing. She's like a good prize in the claw machine.
More after the jump.
CONTINUED »
• "Seriously, though, shoot me straight: They don't mind ya'll smoking some pot up north?" [DListed]
• Harrison Ford filming Indiana Jones and the Curse of Arthritic Joints. [HT]
• A WWE wrestler has killed his wife, his child and himself. I'm sure steroids played no part. [Yeeeah]
• Everyone's really LOLing about this "Dramatic Chipmunk" character, huh? [CityRag]
• Rosie the flower child gives her children bullets to play with. People cry "foul!" Trump smirks, demands steak be "bloodier." [ICYDK]
• Fox News lashing out at one of the greatest writers in American history because he was a liberal. Nice one, guys. [ONTD]
• While we're on the Fox News bullshit train, look at this might-as-well-be-an-Onion-article piece of journalism. [Fox]
• Katie Holmes is seeking out the advice of Catholic priests now that she's gone Scientologist. How many Our Fathers for believing in the Galactic Confederacy? [DListed]
• You're not supposed to like on screen kisses. Then it's not cheating, not acting. [PopSugar]
• Were it a snack food, I don't think Fergilicious would be nutritious. [HT]
• Comeback, baby, one last chance! [ICYDK]
• It's a little known fact that Trump's undergrad thesis at the Wharton School was entitled "Leveraging Fat Jokes to Build a Dickhead Empire." [Yeeeah]
• If you squash Donatella's face into the funny papers you can have Marmaduke with you all day. [CityRag]
• Anyone else think Kevin Federline's brother bears a strong resemblance to Hans Klopek from The 'Burbs? [DListed]
• Natural weight loss yields unnatural results. [Egotastic]
• "And if you threw a party and invited everyone you knew, you would see the biggest gift would be from me, and the card attached would say, 'You're kind of a fatass.'" [Glitterati]
• 17 will get you 20, bro. [ICYDK]
• Oh no! Project Runway is gonna be forced to hire Old Navy yahoos hacking out performance fleece tube tops. [TMZ]
• Cynthia Nixon garbage picking. Big deal. Five second rule, anyone? [Jossip]
• “You know, it really doesn’t matter what [the media] write as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.” —Donald Trump [CH]
• A very concise, astute wrestling fan. [INO]
• Eastern European children with black eyes is "cute"? [CityRag]
• Avril Lavigne proving that she can both verbally and physically assault people. [TheBosh]
• Travolta expressing distaste for a problem he promotes. He's stayin' hypocritical. [IDLYITW]
• Hasselbeck playing nice for the cameras. [ASL]
• Anna Nicole judge hammering the last nail into the legal system's coffin. [Jossip]
• Fergie talks about her lesbian experimentation-ilicious. [DListed]
• Canadian vandals making my day. [Defamer]
• Nicole Kidman is pregnant? I'm sure she'd smile if she could. [TheBosh]
• Angelina's ain't Mother Theresa. [HR]
• The Bavarian Count doesn't want Cruise on the film about his grandfather, as he is worried it may be funded by Tom's sect. Don't worry, Dan Brown's already started the novel. [IDLYITW]
• Michelle Williams covered in stage blood and unwittingly giving her daughter issues. [PopSugar]
• That girl Vida's more of an ass than her own ass. [ASL]
• "Respect Beer" [NYT]
• Donald Trump again proving his intellect is nowhere near his net worth. [DListed]
• Tori and her mom are friends again. Weren't you worried? [CN]
• Stallone takes steroids, proving that he's no better than that cheating commie Ivan Drago. Mick would fucking puke if he knew about this. [Glitterati]
• Linds and Jude? [IDLYITW]
• Sarah Jessica biting the Olsens' style. Olsen twins still not biting much protein. [Jossip]
• Nope, Mischa's still not fat, no matter what these pics say. [DS]
• If you think you're above Soul Train, you must also think you're above good vibes and dancing feet and everything worth fighting for. [NYP]
• Inconvenient "inaccuracies" in An Inconvenient Truth? [NYT]
Editor
