These celebrity-Muppet comparisons are like every Muppet movie after Muppets Take Manhattan: Often they don't work, but when they do, they're hilarious

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• Fox News lashing out at one of the greatest writers in American history because he was a liberal. Nice one, guys. [ONTD]

• While we're on the Fox News bullshit train, look at this might-as-well-be-an-Onion-article piece of journalism. [Fox]

• Katie Holmes is seeking out the advice of Catholic priests now that she's gone Scientologist. How many Our Fathers for believing in the Galactic Confederacy? [DListed]

• You're not supposed to like on screen kisses. Then it's not cheating, not acting. [PopSugar]

• Were it a snack food, I don't think Fergilicious would be nutritious. [HT]

• Comeback, baby, one last chance! [ICYDK]

• It's a little known fact that Trump's undergrad thesis at the Wharton School was entitled "Leveraging Fat Jokes to Build a Dickhead Empire." [Yeeeah]

• If you squash Donatella's face into the funny papers you can have Marmaduke with you all day. [CityRag]

• The hunter blood in her veins insures she won't even flinch at shit like this. [Reuters]

• I'm Petra-fied she ever saw anything in that guy. [Egotastic]

• Joss's skirt is about as short as people's interest in her. [IDLYITW]

• Donatella Versace's daughter has very unhealthy issues with weight. I wonder where that could have started. [ASL]

• Sadly, as the sole breadwinner, Lindsay Lohan actually has the right to dictate family politics. [HR]

• Sean Stewart admits that used to lust after his step mother, Rachel Hunter. He also alludes to the fact that he used to masturbate while thinking about her. Sorry, Sean, but the general rule is that once your dad's penis has been in something, you can't touch it. That goes for everything. [NYP]

• Elton John at the bondage fest. What kind of glasses go with crotchless hot pants and a ball gag? [Queerty]

Donatella, once you look like the mother of bad dreams and not your real, beautiful daughter, you can't go to the cosmetic surgeon's office anymore. Feel free to still ask favors of your kid, though. She's your property, even if nobody in their right mind could believe you spawned her.

With one highly praised collection after another, not to mention a recent Rodeo Drive Walk of Style award celebration that drew nearly every VIP in Los Angeles, Donatella Versace is certainly riding high in fashion circles as of late. But it was Glenda Bailey who got the scoop, landing Versace’s first one-on-one interview with her media-shy daughter, Allegra Beck, for the March issue of Harper’s Bazaar, on newsstands February 20.

…while the 20-year-old doesn’t divulge how she intends to run the fashion empire of which she now controls a majority share, she does offer a down-to-earth—and only in the Versace world—anecdote on her mother. “I have to see movies first to scout them for her,” she says in the piece. “She hates to sit still for two hours without smoking.”

Solo, cinematic recon missions to make sure the movie's worth three cigarettes of your mother's life is the new quality time.

[Source]

I know that Britney Spears has been looking rough for the past year and a half or so, but saying that she's going to look like Anna Nicole Smith in 20 years? That's a bit rough, US Weekly. Trimspa execs are probably looking at this and licking their lips with anticipation.

US made some other celebrity fast forward predictions, ranging from the obvious (Benjamin McKenzie into Russell Crowe, Dakota Fanning into Jodie Foster) to the incredibly insulting for one party (see above and to the side). Come to think of it Paris Hilton into Donatella Versace is mutually insulting.

I mean, Paris hasn’t yet opened that scalpel can of surgery worms. And Donatella didn’t spend all that time and money creating her masterpiece of Botox, plastic, and characteristics that give all children nightmares just to have some two-bit socialite jack her steez in a few years time.

Hey, good news for Sophia Loren, at this rate Nicole Ritchie's not going to be around 20 more years to see if this depressing prophecy comes true.

[Source]