Despite the fact that on the night of Shia LaBeouf's car accident "it was immediately apparent to officers responding on the scene that LaBeouf was intoxicated," it's looking like the actor will indeed be let off the hook. Detectives have announced that Shia was not at fault for the accident — the other driver allegedly ran a red light, making him or her responsible.
Fair enough, but what about the fact that Shia was obviously drunk at the scene of the car crash? Does that count for nothing?
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In the wake of Nick Hogan's eight-month jail sentence for felony reckless driving, sister Brooke took to her MySpace to speak out against the entire situation. Because — let's be honest — writing about how the justice system is flawed on the No. 1 site for pedophiles is going to cause some shake-ups. Brooke insists no one knows the real story and even goes on to insult Nick's passenger who nearly lost his life in the accident. If that's not going to win over the general public, we don't know what will.
The entire diatribe, after the jump.
At the very least, we can thank Gary Dourdan for not endangering the lives of Palm Springs drivers. He told Access Hollywood’s Shaun Robinson via e-mail that cops found him sleeping in a parked car because he had pulled over when he realized he was too drunk to drive. He also “thanked” the cops for recognizing that the car — and the suitcase filled with drugs inside of it — was not his, claiming he has the negative drug tests to prove it.
In an effort to bolster the ever-assailed decorum of the Internet, Mollygood looks to poetry with Someone Haiku. Each day—using 17 syllables or less—you’re given the opportunity to wax poetic about some piece of flotsam or jetsam that’s washed up on the shores of Mollygood. Hopefully this Zen practice will not only bathe you in self-discovery, but also bring a touch of Eastern class to a global network of information that’s devolved into nothing more than tit websites and provocative MySpace pictures.
Today's winner is Danielle:
Self Righteous singer
denies fans who made him huge
gassy? Nah, shitty
Nicely done, Danielle.
New one after the jump.
CONTINUED »
Ever since Mike Tyson's Punch Out became just Punch Out, Mile Tyson has been dead to me (other than that time he only had enough dough to tattoo half his face–tragic but hilarious). He is, however, very much still alive to most people, especially the cop who pulled him over last night for driving drunk. Plus, according to TMZ, he had cocaine in his car. Well, at least it was probably more interesting for the cop to pull over Mike Tyson than the usual chain of holiday drunks trying to escape their families.
Thanks to Big Brother, I mean highway surveillance cameras, we've got some footage of Nicole Richie's arrest yesterday morning. TMZ put together these screenshots (you can find more here) for our enjoyment.
It's funny, though, because this morning I was wondering how this news item would be explained to the significant portion of the population that has no idea who Nicole Richie is–I mean, when you boil it down, all you've got is "reality TV star." Weird. Anyhow, Ms. Richie's lawyer finally released a statement regarding the incident and as it turns out, this is totes not going to ruin her career. TMZ reports:
Richie's attorney, Howard Weitzman, exclusively tells TMZ "This is a difficult time for Nicole but she is prepared to accept whatever responsibility is appropriate. She intends to continue with her career and will deal with any other issues that need to be addressed."
Can we get taking away Nicole's drivers license moved to the top of that list of issues to be addressed? Thanks.
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Here are some shots of Nicole Richie and new-beau Joel Madden this weekend, doing what all young celebs should do when they go out: using a fucking driver. Meanwhile, Nicole couldn't keep up the habit and herself away from the wheel–according to TMZ, the starlet's weekend ended with flashing lights and counting backwards from 100 by seven:
TMZ has learned that Nicole Richie was arrested for DUI early Monday morning. She was booked at 4:50 AM today and was released 45 minutes ago. The booking sheet reveals Richie is 5'1" and 85 lbs.
So…that's not a lot of lbs. Gotta believe that if "one drink" could put Paris Hilton over the legal limit, that same drink would have Nicole in the drunk tank for the night.
More details to come.
UPDATE: Like Whoa. TMZ's newest update shows that not only were my jokes way off, but the situation was far more potentially dangerous that I originally assumed:
We're told her SUV was spotted by two motorists going the wrong way on the 134 freeway in Burbank. The drivers called 911.
When the CHP responded, Richie was stopped in the carpool lane and was alone in the vehicle. When cops approached the vehicle, Richie was on her cellphone.
Law enforcement officers tell TMZ Nicole Richie admitted she had taken Vicodin and smoked pot.
A preliminary alcohol screening device revealed that Nicole was not under the influence of alcohol.
Wrong way on the freeway? Yikes. Driver. Get one. Use him/her always.
Update #2: Mugshot Richie.
Addicted to attention! Get sexy eyes! Someone at Seventeen is having some fun with Paris Hilton. According to Us Weekly, inside next month's Seventeen Magazine, Paris tackles some weighty issues like sex:
“I think you like [sex] when you’re, like, in your thirties,” Hilton says. “That’s what someone told me. We’ll see.”
Yikes, sorry Paris Lastis, Stavros, Travis Barker, Jame Neate…and that's just this quarter.
She also took the time to talk about a very important issue she has some recent experience with: drunk driving. In the mag, Paris appears on a full page PSA saying:
“All it takes is one drink to mess with the way you drive – it clouds your judgment and slows your reflexes. Don’t take any chances. It just isn’t worth it,” Hilton says in the ad.
When I graduated from D.A.R.E. in fifth grade, I won the poetry contest and got to read at the graduation ceremony. My winning poem was called "One Drink" and I'm not sure, but I think Paris Hilton might have plagiarized a little bit (but she missed my thrilling finale of "One hit, one sip, one puff, one line…and you're dead." Heavy stuff). True story.
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It's a big day for celebrity drunk driving. The sort of day that teaches us that in the eyes of the law, we're all equal. Justice will always be served…unles you're Mel Gibson. TMZ tells us that Mel's lawyers copped a plea bargain today in Malibu:
Gibson has agreed to three years probation, but will avoid jail time. Gibson was ordered to attend one year of AA meetings. For the first four-and-a-half months he must attend five times a week. For the remainder of the time, he must attend three times a week. Gibson must also pay $1200 in fines and penalties as well as one hundred dollars in restitution.
Gibson volunteered to do a public service announcement on the hazards of driving under the influence. He also volunteered to enter a rehab program immediately.
Riiight…about that stint in rehab, I thought he was already supposedly in this "rehab." At least that one hundred dollars has to hurt. I'm willing to bet that other than the fines, he'll do none of it.
…and on the other end of the fame spectrum, we revisit another DUI favorite. I can't believe it was only a month ago that Haley Joel Osment went on his wild ride (back into the public's radar) by getting drunk and high and flipping his 1995 Saturn. Today, according to TMZ, he was formally charged with the following counts:
* Driving under the influence of alcohol
* Driving with a .08 blood alcohol level or higher
* Enhancement of driving with a .15 or higher
* Possession of marijuana while driving
Well, to be fair, that certainly sounds like "enhanced" driving. He should probably get in touch with Mel's people('s paralegals) for help getting himself out of this bind.
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