This here's University of Tennessee student David Kernell, the 20-year-old go-getter who "hacked" into Sarah Palin's e-mail account by guessing the answers to her Yahoo security questions.

Since the FBI stormed Kernell's apartment last week, in the process breaking up a party he was having, the young man's father, Democratic Tennessee state representative Mike Kernell, has made sure David's lawyered up tight and ready for the impending shitstorm.

Currently, it looks to be unlikely that David will go to jail for his crimes.

Now on to the important stuff: What were Sarah Palin's easily guessed security question answers?

The Insider correspondent Pat O'Brien is quite possibly one of our favorite Hollywood train wrecks. We all remember when he made those infamous drunk dials in 2005 in which he romantically told a girl, "You are so f–king hot." (Swoon.) He went to rehab shortly thereafter and again in 2007. Expect a third trip in the near future, because he's reportedly fired from his job at The Insider for yet another classy move: He sent an e-mail to the show's staff in which he complained about how much he hates anchor Lara Spencer. According to Pat, Lara makes people "vomit" when she frets over an Emmy gown because many viewers can't afford food or gas. Fair enough. You know what else makes us vomit, Pat? This.

Update: Text of the e-mail, in which O'Brien proclaims himself a "favorite son" of Iowa, after the jump.

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Not my thing, Mukesh. But thanks for the offer.

Remember when, like a freshman crushing on the senior star quarterback, Scarlett Johansson went around telling everyone who would listen that she and very important person Barack Obama had a blossoming e-mail relationship? In deference to those who don't recall, a couple weeks ago, the curvy Tom Waits impersonator told reporters she was "amazed" that Obama always found time to reply to her messages, which presumably went something like, "You're the best!!! And smart! Sometimes I'm embarrassed to be blonde. Did you know I'm from New York, the birthplace of Harlem? That's one of the reasons I can sympathize with your black bros and hos. Love you! Peace."

But, oh, how humiliating: Barry says Scarlett's lying!

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Sadly, this is the e-mail that foretold of something that will never be.