In high school, one of my best friends since childhood made the poor decision to briefly date an oft-medicated raver. He's since told me about lots of really bizarre things she did during the course of their relationship – the ecstasy, the crying – but the story that's stuck with me is about the time she wore edible underwear to prom, edible underwear that was sweaty, sticky and stringy by the time they got back to their hotel room that night. My friend's cringing face is the only thing I could think about while reading the following blind item.

Which pervy cad about town has yet another weird penchant … for edible underwear? He makes all of his ladies wear a specially made licorice thong that he likes to slowly chew off of them.