Denise Richards dragged her more likable by default sister out to celebrate Tao's three year anniversary party in Las Vegas over the weekend. Giving her a run for her money in the insufferable competition were Ellen Pompeo, Holly Montag and Perez Hilton. If we were to be stuck on a stranded island with any of them, we can't decide who would be the least maddening. Feel free to choose for yourself.

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Rumor has it Ellen Pompeo and Cameron Diaz are fighting over a $5.5 million Chelsea apartment. Really? Nobody else was available to get in on the bidding war? We hope there's not an all-out brawl for the apartment; not that it wouldn't be entertaining, but Cam could snap all of Ellen's bones in three seconds. And then who would annoyingly lust after McDreamy every Thursday night?

We have an easy solution as to who should get the apartment, which has four bedrooms, four baths and six private terraces: Give it to us. And then the two of you can move to another city.

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• We're not sure why Queerty posted the above clip, but we're fucking doing it now, too! Sense in numbers. [Queerty]

• Lance Armstrong's daughters are so baffled by his relationship with Ashley Olsen they've started to bring her to school to experiment on. [DListed]

• The fact that "different looking" has come to be synonymous with "ugly" is a scary societal shift. [EBG]

• Drew Barrymore on the set of Grey Gardens. We presume this is pre-meltdown of her character. If not, crazy looks pretty. [PS]

• Grey of Anatomy fame got married. [INO]

• Jennifer Hudson: Oscar winner turned hang-outer. [ICYDK]

• Lindsay Lohan's enabler aims her syringe. [Yeeeah]

• Celebrity aptronyms. Fun! [CityRag]

• More of this caged bird. [HT]

Last evening marked the 59th Annual Emmy Awards (which I've heard were unyieldingly boring). Although they remain one of the least merit-based awards in history, the Emmys are one of the sharpest, and that should count for something.

After the jump, the gowns! Oh, the gowns!

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Last night marked this year's People's Choice Awards in Los Angeles, and while I must admit that I skipped the airing of the show (did I miss anything?), I enjoyed looking at the pictures of the stars who attended the festivities. Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Aniston tend to fare well at events like these, and last night was no exception with both women taking home awards. Hell, most of the people pictured here won awards of some kind. Other than Carmen Elektra, who, if she had been up for anything, should have won Most Turquoise Toga Of The Year.

For a list of winners, click here.

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Lighten up, ladies! No one forced you to attend these events. Well, I guess Renee kind of had to attend the premiere of her own movie, Miss Potter. But you, Ellen Pomp-and-Circumstance, you even got to wear your signature longer sleeves under shorter sleeves look and you can't crack a smile? Weak.

P.S. Am I really late to the game in thinking that these two look alike? Is this common knowledge?

• I can't believe it's been less than a year since Nick and Jessica split. How innocent we were. [PopSugar]

• Ellen Pompeo is engaged. Good for her. If she found someone to love her despite that attitude she should never let him go. [Us]

• Wait, I thought that "lancing" was something you do to boils and the such. [BWE]

• Angelina may travel in second class, but that certainly doesn't mean she's giving your ass an autograph[DListed]

• The real question is: What will we talk about when Ryder finally turns three and Kate Hudson cuts his hair? [I'm Not Obsessed]

• Denise Richards regrets last week's laptop beatdown. Not as much as that hard drive does, though. I'll be here all day, don't forget to tip your waitress. [A Socialite's Life]

• Kevin Federline tapes everything, thinks anyone cares about any of it beyond the sexy stuff. [Hollyscoop]

• Borat got his ass beat down. Good thing House was there to save him. Seriously. [The Sun]

• Olsen hidden camera. [CityRag]

• Avril's got some cleav, but she's still a bore on the red carpet. [Egotastic]

Yeah, yeah, you can look at all the red carpet pictures you want from last night's Emmy Awards, but we all know the most thrilling part of the evening was Mindy Kaling's nip-slip just as she got to the stage to celebrate The Office winning for Best Comedy Series. Wheee, hooray for DVR and the ability to pause television (and perpetuate what was probably Mindy's most embarrassing moment).

And now, back to the red carpet. Women looking pretty (and BJ Novak, also from The Officem who I'm including because we went to high school together).

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Living with a medical resident, I am often asked about Grey's Anatomy. I've never seen an episode and, as much as I love tv, I don't plan to. I could blame it on lots of things (mostly I hate being behind on things), but here's a reason: Ellen Pompeo seems like an ass. And look, here she is on Punk'd and she is an ass. This has the makings for the worst Punk'd ever, as the waitress flirting with Pompeo's fiance is completely tame, but Ellen still manages to lose her shit. Way to be sane.