WHO'S PLAYING ELVIS? Our money's on James Franco: "Producers David Permut and Steve Binder have acquired screen rights to Alanna Nash's 2003 book 'The Colonel: The Extraordinary Story of Colonel Tom Parker and Elvis Presley.' Permut and Binder will develop a feature titled 'The Colonel' based on the book about the man with shadowy origins who reinvented himself as the Svengali behind the world's most famous entertainer."

Well, this is different:

Young starlets starving themselves isn't uncommon in Hollywood, but grown men doing it is a little strange. Woody Harrelson plans on going to a remote island for forty days and starving himself. And he's not even doing it for a movie role. He just wants to see how it affects his brain.

Woody says, "I know it's going to be really hard. But can you imagine it? Eating nothing for 40 days?"

Now imagine how hard it's going for Woody to not eat for 40 days while also taking bong rips the size of watermelons every hour on the hour.

Heard about this movie Gangbang in the Gotham or Humping in the Apple or something? It comes out this week and the media can't seem to stop talking about either it or the advertising for it; a funny thing considering that talking about how crazy the advertising is for a movie is simply advertising for a movie in a crazy way. (Please, make the check out to "Cash," Sarah Jessica.)

Anyway, professional thieves in both New York and LA are already thinking of ways to swindle fans of Parker et al into paying exorbitant amounts of money to see this movie, which, though insane, seems to be working.

Among the most elaborate: sold-out "Sex and the City" tours throughout Gotham on Friday. The tours, starting at 10 minute intervals in mid-afternoon, stop off at the Pleasure Chest, where Charlotte purchased her Rabbit sex toy, and the bakery where Miranda devoured cupcakes, before a nosh, screening of the movie and afterparty at Guesthouse. Cosmos aren't included in the $130 pricetag…

Hey, if Carrie and the girls have taught us anything, it's spend indiscriminately and never worry about the consequences, because life is a fucking TV show. Have fun!

Hef wins! Hef wins!

Despite Holly Madison trying her hardest to get pornography magnate Hugh Hefner to either impregnate her or marry her, and thus give her access to all the riches that thousands of pictures of fake breasts have amassed, the old man has proven unwilling or unable on both accounts. Now what to do, Holly?

"I need a Hef-esque sperm donor who's a creative genius, totally hott [sic] and has dark hair." (Adoption is not in consideration.)

Because that's not a weird request at all.

Gasp! A celebrity using their child to fill their coffers? We're absolutely flabbergasted:

Which A-list couple agreed to let a paparazzo shoot their kids, but only after the lensman agreed to give the family half of the six-figure paycheck? Later the duo got greedy and demanded two-thirds of the loot, telling the pap: "We just got new furniture and need to pay it off."

Could Brangelinahaddohpaddox sink so low? Of course they could! But, did they?

In order to not get sued for using them, we often have to "make a story" of the photos we put on the site, so, here's the story: This is a thrice-divorced, hepatitis-infected mother of two, presumably buzzing and definitely exposing her crotch to the entire party she's making awkward. It's a sad story, but a story nonetheless.

[Source]

MOVIE EXECUTIVES MADE SLIGHTLY LESS WEALTHY LAST YEAR "More than 2.5 billion movie files were downloaded worldwide in 2007, 2.5 times more than in 2006, according to figures from the MPA released in Brussels on Monday. The MPA report also revealed that more than 17 million people are simultaneously using the six largest peer-to-peer networks at any one time."

A pregnant Nicole Kidman's children, adopted in the 90s with Kidman's ex-husband Tom Cruise, don't love her anymore. That's the bad news. The good news is that she's resigned herself to that fact and she's not really putting up a fight.

She tells Heat magazine, "It's a pity they have been manipulated by the father to distance themselves from me."
…
"They are closer to their new mom now," she admitted.

Oh well. Can't win 'em all. Good thing you have that bun in the oven - you can just replace them, like they did you!

[Source]

Christian Bale has signed on to act in a trilogy of upcoming Terminator sequels, beginning with the in-production Terminator Salvation.

Bale will be handsoming up the part of John Connor, a role originated by an angsty Edward Furlong and then sort of ruined by Nick Stahl.

Josh Brolin is rumored to be playing Bale's mortal enemy, the Terminator, in the trilogy.

Think they'll kiss each other?