Just when you thought MTV couldn't become more of a soulless corporation without transforming into subplot fodder for a John Grisham novel, the former hipness barometer outdid itself in one week by:

1) Canceling TRL, and with it the last shred of reasoning behind calling the Viacom subsidiary a music station.

2) Signing a contract that would allow them to stay at their Times Square location (that really only made sense to inhabit when TRL was on the air) with a $35-per-square-foot rent increase.

3) Destroying the rainforest for the sake of the Real World/Road Rules Challenge show that no one knew was still on the air:

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Hypocrisy in action, everyone! Leonardo DiCaprio, who won't stop whining about storks choking on oil and baby bears having fevers or whatever, in March spearheaded a campaign to create a national "Do Not Mail Registry" to cut down on America's paper-wasting junk mail. But just this week, writer turned snitch Philip Recchia received in the mail an envelope - with DiCaprio's name in the return address space - full of solicitations for the Natural Resource Defense Council's "Polar Bear S.O.S." campaign. Whoops!

DiCaprio's rep says Leo's "environmental commitment is unending."

Last night Tara Reid attended a party hosted by smart – the maker of those teeny cars – and Live Earth – the maker of those huge concerts. The event, which took place in Venice, California, was held in honor of "artists at the forefront of environmental awareness." Reid was celebrated for never working, thereby eliminating all chances of anyone burning fuel to see her movies.

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IN A GODDAMN HANDBASKET "Almost all biofuels used today cause more greenhouse gas emissions than conventional fuels if the full emissions costs of producing these 'green' fuels are taken into account, two studies being published Thursday have concluded."

Dear Jessica Alba,

Thank you for driving a Toyota Prius. Knowing that you, a wealthy person with many options in the way of vehicles, made an informed decision and purchased a globally-conscious hybrid gives us hope for a brighter future in which your unborn child can flourish.

Regards,

Mollygood

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