Just when you start to feel sorry for motherless Kanye West, he has to go off on another one of his deranged tangents about things of no importance whatsoever. This time around, his anger is directed at the MTV Video Music Awards — one of the most legitimate and respected musical events of the year. Except, you know, not.

You see, Kanye thinks these awards shows — both in America and Europe — are "fixed," and he's not OK with the winners of this year's crop:

Britney Spears over Rihanna? Are you serious? I mean f—ing Jared Leto? He's my boy but he shouldn't have won over some of those other artists. I won nothing last year and I'd brought out 'Stronger.' Then this year, just because I was there, I won best urban act. This was Lil Wayne's year.

Yeah, imbeciles! You don't have any respect for the sacred MTV VMAs. Lil Wayne should have won, after all those times he walked through the airport with ice on his knees and his pants around his ankles. That takes dedication! Sheesh, effing squid brains.

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HATE OUR PREZ, LOVE OUR MOVIES "The U.K. stood as the biggest consumer of U.S. movies for the seventh straight year in 2007, sending back $499 million in rental revenue to the Hollywood studios, 10% more than in 2006. Altogether, the six U.S. majors brought home a record $4.5 billion in '07, with No. 2 Japan accounting for $396 million, up 2.9% year-to-year; No. 3 Germany, $384 million, up 15.8%; No. 4 Canada, $342 million, up 2%; and No. 5 Spain, $304 million, up 4.9%."

Eddie Izzard, the cross-dresser too talented to be just a comedian and too homely to be just an actor, is considering adding a new position to his CV: European politician.

In an interview with Newsweek, the 46-year-old Brit said: "We've got to make it work in Europe … People are very worried about sovereignty and the loss of sovereignty. I think the stakes are if we don't make the European Union work, then the world is screwed. End of story."

That a transvestite comedian who once said of Easter, "Kids eat chocolate eggs because of the color of the chocolate and the color of the…wood on the cross?" can even think of running for office in Europe says a lot about the state of things over there as opposed to America. We hope he gives his victory speech in a frilly gown.