If anyone doesn't want to talk politics, I'm offering a different alternative: Let's discuss The Hills in depth, shall we? For the three of you who didn't run back to the Palin posts, let's proceed. Last night's episode was fairly awesome thanks to Darlene Montag, the woman who birthed and raised the nightmare we know as Heidi. Darlene suffered through a one-on-one lunch with devilish Spencer, who was a complete and total ass to her ("I don't get uncomfortable, my dear") and then cried real tears for her lost cause of a daughter, claiming that Spence is the biggest d-bag that ever lived.

Except, you know, it was all fake. First off, Darlene showed up in this episode to "surprise" Heidi for her birthday. Heidi's birthday is Sept. 15. Darlene claimed she hadn't seen Heidi in months and had no idea she was living with Spencer. Please. It's not like she hasn't DVR'd every episode of The Hills and cut out each cheesy tabloid spread featuring Speidi to tape to her refrigerator. Also? If Darlene just showed up two weeks ago, how does she explain this, the photo shoot she had with Speidi and Joe Francis in early August?

Methinks this desperate need for the MTV cameras' attention runs in the family.

Facebook has caught on to the Spaghetti Cat craze, which has officially legitimized the feline's celebrity. But unfortunately for SC, who is now featured in the SuperPoke application, he is being falsely represented by a Hello Kitty impostor (as accurately pointed out by rumour has it). Would it have killed the designers to at least make the cat black, if they weren't going to use the actual image of SC? This is an outrage.

So in case you haven't heard, tonight is the season four premiere of MTV "reality" hit The Hills. Over the last three seasons it's become fairly obvious that there's rarely anything real about the show except for Spencer and Heidi's douchiness, so we've compiled our five favorite fake moments in the history of The Hills. Feel free to add your own if they didn't make the cut.

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Ha! Yahoo's rundown of the Top 10 Scientifically Inaccurate Movies places the gory and gubernatorial Total Recall almost at the very top of the list. Turns out that that three-breasted woman and the baby stomach prophet were just the stuff of movie magic.