Just when I think Ice-T can't get any more offensive, he goes and compares his wife to a sports car. On a family game show. In front of his mother-in-law. Host Al Roker seemed surprisingly unfazed by the show of misogyny, though. The "Ice-T Family" competed against Joan Rivers and Co. on Celebrity Family Feud last night. The families play for charities — Ice-T's was a gang prevention program and Joan Rivers' was a charity that gives guide dogs to the blind. You don't have to watch until the end of the episode to know that a few blind people woke up in really good moods this morning.

The first topic was "something that's slippery and hard to hold onto." You know where this is going.

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Huzzah! Just in time for a rising Jesus simile on this Wednesday after Easter, news broke today that antiquated game show Family Feud is returning to television in a shiny new form. Because the world has stopped caring about real people, the latest incarnation of the Feud won't cull contestants from unknown backwaters like Tucson and Tuscaloosa, but sinful pits like Los Angeles, Burbank and other suburbs of Los Angeles. That's right: CELEBRITY Family Feud. Producers are reportedly already attempting to get the Baldwin brothers and the Lohans to appear and bicker.

Excited? Don't be. They will build it, but celebrities will not come. As you may know, game shows often make fools of their contestants and no agent worth his multiple cars is going to let his uneducated celebrity clients scream nonsense at a scoreboard for the enjoyment of the common man. That's what sports are for.

After the jump, one of the most painful incidents of game show humiliation ever, and a good example of why this show will fail.

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